05.11.03 Junior prom: Yes I know I'm entering a May entry in my March file but oh well. I couldn't wait to put this down. Junior prom was last night at the Banker's Club Event Center at the corner of Santa Clara Avenue and First Street in downtown San Jo from 7 to 11, with dinner supposedly at 5:30 but ending up starting more like 6:30 so we got there like 8:30 or something. Despite the miraculous disappearance of a contact lens, a watch, and a hair chopstick, the evening (in my opinion) was wonderful. Many thanks to the very very spiffy-looking young man accompanying me for accomodating my neurosis over the chopstick and other inconsequential-in-retrospect events. Really, thank so much for taking the time to come with me. I hope that your finals and projects will be alright. Thank you thank you thank you thank you a million times over.
My only regret...is that it's over. And that I didn't have enough energy to rock the dancefloor and initiate said spiffy young man in invigorating conversation.
*sigh* Why are you always so far away when I want to give you a hug for doing something good??? I'm sorry for being so stupid in looking for the chopstick. Should have realized that I already had the most important thing of the evening there with me. :) There, I've cleared my conscience. :) But no matter what, I still want to escape and turn the clock backwards. Why is it I can think of the most wondrous things to talk about when I'm alone but when I'm with other people I'm absolutely tongue-tied? I guess I choked. Gotta practice one-on-one speaking. With a good dose of Jason Mraz and sending my emotionally-charged thoughts out into cyberspace, hoping they will reach the Spiffy Man, I embrace the present, cherish the past, and regard the future with a bemused expression, watching all my obstacles (chopstick, watch, contact, blaring bass, possibly upset parents) all shrink down to their rightful size. Come hither, o wondrous future, for I am weeping tears of joy, knowing that the moment I thought was lost is now forever engraved in my mind among other moments of supreme delight. I hug thin air...and I hug everything beautiful.
05.17.03 Turning point: What are you going to do with your life? Are you supposed to have your college major, school, and career path planned out by the time you turn 17? I'm sitting at home with a pile of college spam spread out in front of me and I keep asking myself, what are you going to do with your life? I wish I knew. Some people are lucky and know exactly what they want to do. Others just keep wondering if they've found the right thing. I've been ricocheting between several majors and I found it difficult to give up the ghost for computer science. Part of me says NO, NO EECS! while another doesn't want to give it up. Maybe it's because I've been brainwashed into it. I don't know what's going to happen for me, particularly in college. You never want to make the wrong move, but you have almost no idea what you really want. It's one thing to say, Look into yourself to get the answers; it's another altogether to do it. I've considered applying as a physics major everywhere, but it seems like the easy way out. And I'm interested, but there's a hitch: I've never taken a physics course in my life. The closest I've come is Calculus BC. Stupid, eh? I wish someone could just examine my puny mind and go, Mm-hmm, you'll definitely be a good (insert occupation). What am I supposed to do? I want to get into a good school, but I want to do it with a major I'll be happy in. I don't want to be shown the door by UC Berkeley because I'm applying EECS or shoo-ed out of MIT because I'm applying well you get the idea. Darn those impacted majors.
6.08.03 Giddiness...: Welllll, I SHOULD be doing lecture packs for tomorrow's USH midterm, but.....
