When things go wrong, as often they will,
When the sludge you trudge all flows uphill,
When credit cards are all maxed out,
and dieting just gives you gout,
when Laundromats chew up your clothes
and pollen's swollen up your nose,
and your yogurt's expired three days ago,
and the new snowblower no longer blows,
when insurance covers everything
but the pox in spots upon your skin,
when the only ones who call your home
are telemarketers, selling phones,
when life has tied you in a snit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit!
Life's so queer, with twists and turns,
as everyone will some time learn.
Sometimes a truck swerves from the road
or brakeless trains cut off your toes,
A Concorde plane lands on your head
or MIG sidewinders leave you dead.
Sometimes your thumb is slammed in doors,
sometimes you choke upon hors d'oeuvres.
You're tasered, lasered, scorched, and smoked;
you order Pepsi, they serve Coke.
Your planet's blown to smithereens;
your father joins the Dark Side team.
Your life preserver does not float;
On Everest's slope, you drop the rope.
The diet where you just eat fat
just makes you fatter (fancy that!)
Those pics you took at seventeen
are published in a magazine.
Your paycheck's late, your refund's slower,
your stocks hit bottom, then drop lower.
And then you find you're unemployed
or that your birthname's really "Floyd."
Your spouse is cheating with your brother;
you get a phone call from your mother.
Persist although the pace seems slow;
You may survive yet one more blow!
Success is failure turned about,
the silver tint of clouds of doubt;
you'll never know how close you are,
on rise from mud to shooting star!
For tragedy is oh-so-close
to hosting your own trash talk show.
or writing a biography
that people just might want to read.
Without some troubles you can share,
it's hard to get good folk to care.
The worse your life, the more they pay,
with movie rights soon on the way!
So stay the fight when hardest hit!
When things seem worst, you must not quit!
MORAL: Give up now. All is lost.
Found at this site