Summary: Obi-Wan‘s adventures in the wilderness continue and Qui-Gon has a few first encounters of his own!
Rated: PG13
Archive: Yes to ‘Early Years’ & 'The Master’s Pathway' @ http://www.geocities.com/jinnaraq/index.html
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DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognizable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for personal use and private entertainment. No money was made from it. No copyright or trademark infringement was intended. This work and its author are NOT in any way connected with or to Lucasfilms Ltd.
Chapter Five:
Obi-Wan woke up with a start. The first thing he realized was the intense, hot throbbing in his leg from the scratches of the cat-thing. He blinked at the dying embers of the fire. Once he had gotten some strips of meat from the animal’s body and roasted them on a stick over the flames, the meal had been delicious. He did not even remember lying down – but apparently he had. Slowly he undid the makeshift bandage that he had tied around his leg, hissing softly at the pain.
//Oh no…. it was all red and swollen!// he observed with some alarm. Suddenly he shivered long and hard and realized he was perspiring heavily despite the now coolness of the cave. //Just what I need now – an infected animal wound!// he observed silently as he quickly re-wrapped the dressing. The torrential rains had stopped while he slept – that at least was a good thing he thought as he slipped on his now dry tunic and what was left of his robe.
Slowly, he crawled over the wall of the cave and used it to help himself to stand. Pain blazed up his leg as fast as a blaster shot. He stood there unsteadily, taking deep breaths and trying to force the impulse of it away from his mind. Looking around at the remaining branches left in the cave, he hobbled over and selected a large one to use as a temporary crutch, and headed very slowly for the entrance of the cave. He felt as if he were dying of thirst now, and he could hear the rain-gorged creek rushing somewhere nearby.
He could also feel his energy fading fast! Dizzily he picked his way carefully among the large boulders. Twice he slipped on the still wet stones and fell hard onto the rocks, knocking the breath out of himself even as the sudden movement caused the pain in his leg to flare up intensely. It seemed like hours before he finally reached the creek bank, where now he collapsed, weak and shaking. He crawled to the water’s edge and used his hands to cup the water to drink. Over and over until he had finally slaked his thirst with the cold rushing water.
He sat back, shivering hard and uncontrollably. His features were drenched in perspiration and he could feel himself trembling without stop. Gently he undid the bandage around his leg. The wound felt as if it were on fire with the heat of sun! Blazes of it ran up and down his leg, making the entire limb ache and throb and burn fiercely. Gently, oh so gently he used the cold water of the creek to wash his wounds. Even the gently dribbling of the water over it caused him extreme pain, and he could not help the tears that soon ran unheeded down his cheeks. //Oh Master, master where are you? I need you -// his pain-drenched mind thought dizzily.
// I have to get out of here….. I have to get to the village I know is closer now…… // the boy tried to focus on. The images of the exhausted Qui-Gon collapsing to the ground haunted his fevered mind. What if the Jedi Master had been severely injured by that shot? What if Qui-Gon died at the hands of those who now held him? What if he could not find help here in this what seemed to be unending forest? Would he end up as a collection of scavenger-scattered bones that would never be found by anyone? Would anyone ever know what had become of them? Would anyone even care? His sobs became intense as the pain and his imagination seemed to run rampant over his efforts to control them. Finally, without realizing it, he cried himself into an exhausted doze there beside the creek.
Slowly, Obi-Wan’s fevered mind became aware that he was both sweaty, and freezing to death. He opened his eyes to find only blackness around him, and the sound of the creek nearby. He forced himself to sit up, swaying unsteadily. The pain in his leg now extended all the way up that side of his body and into his middle regions. Oh, he felt sick… so, so sick – and thirsty – he was so, so thirsty!
He slowly rose to his feet, forgetting the makeshift crutch on the ground, and staggered to the water’s edge. Maybe the coolness of the water would ease the fire in his leg. He had to put the fire out, before it consumed him, he thought fadingly. Oh, the coolness of the water felt so good on his calf as he waded into it. Just a little bit farther and it would be up to the source of that immensely flaming pain….
Suddenly, he tripped over a large rock on the bottom of the creek and with a shout of dismay tumbled forward and into the rushing water! Frantically, he tried to get his feet back under him – but the water was too forceful now, pushing and pulling him into the center of it's rush and the ability to get his head above it to take in gulps of air quickly became the more vital concern.
He could not even see! Rapidly the water claimed him – tossing him with great force as it sucked him along. He dimly felt himself slam into boulders, tree limbs, other objects. He tried vainly to hang onto something – anything, but soon his arms were too numb to obey. He was going to drown!
Onward the roaring creek pulled the nearly helpless apprentice. Many times he felt himself falling over a precipice and thought sure he would be smashed into jagged rocks below, but the drops were never quite far enough and instantly the sucking waters would drag him onward. Visions of his Master, of Bant, of Yoda, of his friends at the temple danced in his brain as he fought desperately to keep his head above the water.
His fight became one of pure instinct rather than training. The apprentice flailed desperately, his will to survive coming into the battle. He clawed at the rocks, clutched at anything he was slammed into, all to no avail. Finally, after what seemed like half of eternity spent battling death, he felt himself falling…. And falling ….and falling. A desperate scream tore from his throat – and then he hit the hard surface of water below.
Dazed and numb he floated in the still blackness. Suddenly the burning in his lungs forced his arms and legs into feeble movement. He could not give up – would not fail Qui-Gon – he had to survive, flashed through his brain… and then suddenly his head broke the surface of the water and he gasped desperately. He shrugged out of the now tattered remains of his cloak, sunk again, then flailed frantically to regain the surface, and with weak, shallow movements began paddling in the water.
A tall, roaring waterfall was to his one side. He had apparently come over it, and landed here, in this very large, calm pond at its’ base. Here the water’s currents were much weaker and he could actually move against them. Finally he felt solidness under his feet. He staggered out of the water, shaking helplessly, his mind going blankly numb as the cool air struck his waterlogged tunics. He was barely out of the water when suddenly he collapsed to the ground. He tried to rise, but waves of dizziness and weakness crashed over him, fading his vision and sending him spinning off into the black void of unconsciousness.
Gradually, he became aware of faint, soft, whispered voices. He was thirsty, so desperately thirsty. And pain, his whole leg flamed again. Barely half-conscious, he moaned softly, and instantly there came a hand to his forehead and blur of colors above him. Slowly, with great effort he managed to focus his eyes, only to find the face of a girl near to his own age peering at him with great concern. He tried to lick at his dry lips, and her face instantly broke into a kind smile.
“Shh now…. You’re safe here. We found you at the pond by the waterfall. You were scratched by a Tulluk Cat… but the healer thinks he was in time to counteract the poison from the claws. You’re still very sick though, and you need to rest. My name is Misslan…. What is your name?” she asked very gently as she slowly stroked his hair.
“Obi…. Obiwa’…” he breathed dizzily and she smiled and nodded as if pleased. Gently she lifted his head and brought a cup of liquid to his lips. Obi-Wan tasted it, then drank eagerly of the sweet juice. Soon she laid him back down and now his body seemed to be wracked with an intense shivering and he tried to stifle his moan.
“It’s alright Obiwan…. The juice causes that – but it also helps rid you of the poison. My brother died last year from the scratch of a Tulluk Cat. It was too late by the time he got back to the village. Sleep now…. You should start to feel very sleepy…” she soothed, and at her words the apprentice found he was indeed so suddenly overwhelmingly exhausted that he could not keep his eyes open at all. Quietly, silently, his thoughts became completely disjointed and he faded away and back into the void of nothingness.
Eventually, Obi-Wan felt himself float back to the surface of consciousness for brief moments of lucidity, alternated with minutes of hard shivering just before he would fade away again. Over and over and over it seemed to happen…. But each time he noticed that the flame of pain in his leg seemed just a touch less intense…. And each time she was there – constantly forcing him to drink the sweet red juice. He tried to stay awake… there was so much he needed to ask her – needed to do… He had to contact the Jedi Council immediately…. But try as he would, consciousness would fade rapidly away like the disappearing rays of light at sundown.
Finally, there came a day when he awoke to find the fire in his leg gone, as well as the dizziness from his head. He tried to sit up, but only got as far as rising up on one elbow before he realized he was far too weak to go any farther. He found himself in some sort of small, rustic cabin. He lay on a pallet close beside a hearth, while across the room was a set of table and chairs with an old type of wheel used to spin yarn near that. Overhead were huge, old rafters of timber, and from several hung lamps of some sort – lamps that looked as if they burned perhaps oil of some sort to provide light. Over the hearth hung a large, black metal pot of some sort, and beside it stood a large leather bucket from which the handle of a ladle protruded. Obviously the technology here was NOT what he was used to - or what he so desperately needed.
He started as from a side door he had not noticed, came the girl he had seen before. She too was startled, giving a soft yelp of surprise, then suddenly her face broke into a brilliant smile – and instantly she ran for the far door, throwing it open and leaving it so as she burst outside, shouting loudly – ‘He’s awake! Obiwan is awake!’
Within just minutes she was back, followed by a man in his mid to late 20’s, a young child of perhaps 6 or 7, and an older man of perhaps 60 years, all of who smiled warmly as they saw him.
“Good Morning young man! And a good one it is indeed for you! You’ve had us all worried sick over you, you know! Tulluk Cat poison starts off slow…. But more times than not it is fatal in the end! Congratulations! My name is Shendar – Shendar M’cali….. you’ve met my daughter Misslan… this is her husband, who found you – D’anala… and their son, Calen!” said the older man, and Obi-Wan gave as best of a bow as he could from the bed.
“Thank you for all you’ve done…. You have my deepest gratitude. How long have I been here?” he asked, annoyed at the weak whisper of his voice.
“Only for 5 days Obiwan… that’s all. Would you like us to contact your family for you? We know you aren’t from our village – so you must be a traveler from afar who got lost in the mountains. I imagine they are worried by now –“ D’anala offered kindly as he came over, bringing a chair from the table to sit on near the bed, and Obiwan blinked with a dismayed look. 5 days? He had been languishing here for 5 days? // oh my gods….. Master-// his mind thundered fiercely and he swayed unsteadily even as he felt himself pale at the thought of so much time lost.
D’anala quickly laid the suddenly pale young man back firmly against the pillows. Obi-Wan’s thought whorled dizzily… 5 days here…a day sick by the creek… the day of the storm and his injury…. 3 days spent circumventing the enormous waterfall and cliff….. 3 days wandering in the woods eating berries, until he caught the fish… and the day he had awakened on this planet too sick to do anything more than retch his guts out…. He moaned…14 days all together…. Then there had been the day at the landing pad when Qui-Gon had been shot and he had been gassed…. And the 2 days before that it had been that his Master had spoken to Yoda, only to hear that the Council was going away! By now, if Qui-Gon had not called his former Master, it would have been 17 days since contact was made between them… and Yoda had expected his Master to call as soon as the Council returned… a call that might by now be 3 or 4 days overdue!
Although he was desperately weak and still fevered somewhat, Obi-Wan settled back and reached out with his mind to draw the Force to himself. Slowly and sluggishly he relaxed into it. His Master was not the best at calling the Council when he was supposed to, that he knew only too well. But – Master Yoda was also fully aware that if Qui-Gon’s call was more than 48 hours delayed – it meant they had run into some sort of very serious trouble or interference. The apprentice half smiled to himself as he closed his eyes. All to well he remembered the time they had gotten themselves into a mess on the outer rim planet of Keru, not able to make the communication…. Only to have Master Yoda and Mace Windu show up in a cruiser after 5 days, come to rescue them!
When Master Yoda found out that the communication had not been made because a female enamoured of the older Jedi had managed to dispose of his communicator, - AND disable their shuttle, - AND had currently helped herself to wearing his robe, - AND had taken to parking herself in the Jedi’s lap at any and every available moment, - it was Obi-Wan who had nearly burst with suppressed laughter at the mortified look on his Master’s face. Master Windu, he knew, still teased his Master to this day about that incident, taking great delight in the blush that would still come to the usually so undisturbable Qui-Gon Jinn’s cheeks at such mention.
Obi-Wan tossed his head restlessly. Since then, not once had Master Windu been so eager or so soon concerned at his Master’s failure to report on time… instead they just waited until he got back from the mission and then blasted him for it when he gave his report before the council. How long WOULD the Council wait, not hearing from Qui-Gon, before they got concerned enough to look into it? He tried to reach out across the training bond for his Master…. Nothing. Of course there would not be – not at this distance…. But he certainly wished he could settle his growing sense of Qui-Gon Jinn being in great danger and needing help – with no one to come to his aid. Eventually Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find them all staring at him intently, with concerned looks. He sighed, trying to force away the sensation of exhaustion that he could feel already tugging at him.
“I – I did not come from your village. I – I came from very, very far from here. I was with my mentor, on an assignment, when he was kidnapped and I was abandoned here in your forest. Perhaps they thought the Tulluk Cats would kill me for them….I – I’m a Jedi apprentice. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi…. My Master is Jedi Knight, Qui-Gon Jinn… I – I have to get a message to Coruscant…. They don’t know Master Jinn has been kidnapped. They hurt him – shot him, at the very end. What planet is this?” he breathed very weakly, and they all exchanged looks of deep surprise.
“You can’t be a Jedi young man. Even I know that. Jedi are only old myths and fairy tales. Your mother would have told you such stories when you were a child, much as I tell them to Calen here. Just stories for children is all the Jedi are.” The older man said as if amused, and Obi-Wan frowned as he struggled up on both elbows now.
“No – honestly – I swear to you – the Jedi ARE real! I myself was raised at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Yes, many stories are told all over the galaxy about the Jedi – but they are real!” he swore vehemently, wishing he had not forgotten his lightsaber in the cave. Those around him all smiled indulgently.
“Son – you’ve been more than just ill…. You’re still recovering from the poison of a Tulluk Cat. Usually when the poison reaches the brain, it is nearly always fatal… but you apparently are even luckier than we thought at first. It is not uncommon for a person to have extremely vivid and realistic dreams and hallucinations once the poison gets to the brain. It can take weeks for you to regain your strength and the ability to think straight again. Don’t worry yourself over the imaginings of such a time as this. We understand…. Now rest, you must rest –“ the older man insisted kindly, and tears of frustration welled up in Obi-Wan’s eyes as he was again pushed back against the pillows.
What was he going to do!? He was too weak to stand, much less go looking for a place with the kind of technology that would allow him to reach Coruscant! What if this planet did not even HAVE that kind of technology yet? Would he ever see Qui-Gon Jinn alive again – or even the Jedi Temple? His stomach felt suddenly nauseous as that thought occurred to him and parked itself firmly within his brain.
Chapter Six:
Kendra laughed out loud as she watched the large, tall man sit up in the long grass of the back yard behind the cabin. Bits of grass clung to his hair and tunic every which way even as he smiled back at her rather teasingly. It had been 3 days now since his first trip into the village with her where he had managed to attract so much attention – much to her dismay. Every day since he had insisted on accompanying her and already most greeted him with open smiles and cheerful words.
Some things about him she found curious: he had been allotted the same basic expenses amount that all new residents were given, but he had yet to make any purchases of his own beyond a few pieces of fruit that he'd eaten on the spot or had shared with her! He appreciated and was obviously familiar with fine workmanship, but seemed to be a man of simple tastes…. He didn't even particularly care for much in the way of spices on his food! Instead, he was much more interested in the forest and in meeting the villagers than in acquiring items to decorate and furnish what would be his home for the next 10 years.
She had to smile as she watched him try to brush the grass away. A few more memories had returned to him recently… more of some small green being he seemed very fond of and deeply attached to… and those of a tall man who had dark skin and no hair, who he felt must be a very close friend of his… She was deeply relieved that he had not had any memories of a wife or children of his own surface. She knew that would hurt him deeply….. so very deeply. He was so openly interested in and compassionate towards everyone, with an air of quiet calm about him, and a decidedly philosophical bent. He seemed to attract others easily. The usually cautious villagers were more than happy to have him stop and talk it seemed. And more than one of the young unmarried women had already been asking about him even!
“Come here you – taking a nap in the grass of all places!” she called, and he carefully rose and came to kneel down on one knee before her, his eyes an excited electric shade of blue and his smile radiating from every pore nearly. She had never seen him quite so ‘ecstatic’ was the only word to describe it.
“I was not taking a nap – I was – well – FEELING the forest and the trees and things! Can’t you feel it? It’s – it’s like they’re ALIVE! Glowing and radiating with an energy that just – just – goes everywhere! Into you, into me, into everyone and every living creature – even out into the stars! Oh it was SO immensely overwhelming to feel it, let it soak in and become part of me!” he reported all in one breathless rush, and she chuckled at him fondly as she turned him around.
“This from the man who gives half of his breakfast roll to the birds each day? Who the squirrels will come right up to and eat out of his hands? Who I found just this morning – watering a WEED that has sprouted in the yard? Why am I not surprised? Look at you – covered in grass now –“ she scolded fondly, and he half laughed very openly.
“It is not a weed – it is a dandelion – and I like it very much there. It will make a whole patch of flowers with just the smallest bit of encouragement.” He observed brightly and she gave him a reproving look.
“Jinny – I have news for you – dandelions ARE weeds, dear sir! I’ll have you know I pull them OUT when I find them in MY garden!” she told him, and he gave her a look of mock horror, eyes wide as he pulled away and out of her hands. - almost anyway – until she caught him firmly by the shoulders, was pulled forward by his momentum and larger weight, and landed on his back, only to knock him to the ground - hard. She heard his ‘ufff’ of exhaled air even as she felt him wince deeply, his arm pressing quickly to his still very, very tender and sore ribs. He lay still afterwards, not moving at all. Instantly she rolled off him and rose to her knees with an anxious look.
“Jinn? Jinny – are you all right?” she demanded even as she gently rolled him over, to find his eyes closed and features a little pale even as he nodded.
“Yeah - … fine…. Jus’…. Knocked the wind….. out o’ me….” He said a little breathlessly, and at her touch to his cheek, he finally opened his eyes to blink up at her, a distance of mere inches between them. She frowned at the pain she found reflected in his eyes. She watched him carefully as one finger slowly stroked down his cheek and across the silkiness of his bearded chin. Such strong features, that concealed such gentleness – she found herself thinking lazily. Kendra smiled as gradually some of the color came back to his features and his breathing eased. She found herself gently smoothing away a stray wisp of hair from his forehead, feeling honestly and truly relieved that he seemed to be all right. She sighed softly as she considered the eyes of sky blue that seemed locked to hers as they slowly filled with mild surprise as she continued to so gently touch his face...
Kendra sighed wistfully as she gazed down at him. He was not exactly squirming to get away from her in any way… and so, she gave in to the impulse, and slowly bent, watching him first for any signs of objection…. Until their lips met, and she felt him tentatively respond to her kiss, deepening it as his hand came up to gently press her closer to him. Slowly what started as an gentle kiss became one of deep depth and feeling… and when they parted, she pulled back to now find his features filled with wonder as he gently ran one finger down her cheek and seemed to study her as if memorizing her every feature.
Gently she bent again, this time kissing him more fully, feeling his lips part and his soft sigh of contentment, him not even flinching as she ran a hand lightly down his chest to rest over his injured and sore side. Carefully she infused some of her growing feelings for this man, into the white light she pictured radiating from her hand. Directly into his body she pictured it going, and he moaned softly against her as he brought her yet closer and now kissed and nuzzled softly at her ear even as she did so at his neck.
With a soft whisper of words she eventually drew apart from him, but only far enough to consider his eyes, eyes that now suddenly seemed rather heavy. Now that he had relaxed, she could sense that he had not napped earlier and was indeed tired. Gently she scooted her arm under and behind his neck and he sighed, now drawing her down once more for a soft, gentle, and lingering kiss. Finally drawing apart and smiling as she considered him, she felt his contented sigh as he rested his cheek against her, blinking heavily.
Slowly and gently she ran her forefinger back and forth over his forehead, sending him the suggestion that he sleep, but doing it so softly and with such gentle caresses to his mind that he did not even realize it was happening. Finally, he blinked heavily once more, only this time his eyes stayed closed, and she smiled as she felt him slide very peacefully and smoothly into slumber. He never did feel her last gentle kiss to the now slack lips.
Kendra sighed as she considered him. Such a blend of mystery and gentleness… quiet and curiosity… he was absolutely unlike anyone else she had ever known, and certainly unlike most men of the village she had been raised in! She knew well that feelings of tenderness were natural after one had taken care of and helped nurse back to health someone who had been vulnerable and fragile…. But this – this seemed to go deeper and farther she felt. He probably could live on his own, even if he was still rather tender – but she found she was not at all anxious to return to her own cabin at the opposite end of the village. Once she had gone there to bring some clothing… and the silent emptiness of the place had only urged her to hurry away!
Instead, she found that more and more, what seemed to matter to her were moments when she could get him to smile that lopsided way he had of doing – moments when he would look first surprised then hesitant about something he did not seem familiar with. Until his curiosity would get the better of him anyway and then he would just have to see, touch, even smell whatever it was. She sighed deeply to herself. He seemed to be getting extremely attached to her as well – and she was a little surprised to find she liked this idea!
Kendra felt hard eyes on her back even without turning around. When she did – it was to stifle a small gasp and quickly cover her alarmed look. It was the overseer on his horse. He met her gaze and smiled wanly, then very obviously turned his attention to the large man who sat at the table in front of the baker’s shop. Several people sat nearby, obviously listening to his conversation with 3 early teen year boys, all dressed in apprentice-type aprons over their clothes.
It had been nearly a week now that he had been coming to the village daily with her, and more than once some member of the small town had sought him out for an opinion or to discuss a decision. Kendra smiled as she considered the 3 boys before him who all looked rather deeply chagrined, yet who seemed to be listening - perhaps for the first time in their short lives!
“Yes, you must indeed learn from your masters…. But the biggest proof of a master’s success, is when the student carries out his instructions – when he is NOT there.” Jinn was telling them, and all 3 looked rather downcast.
“I didn’t think it would be wrong-“ one offered, and the large man smiled gently.
“Sometimes the outcome is hard to see…. And sometimes it is hard to see, because we prefer not to see it to begin with. It is easier to go along with a wrong than it is to stand up to one.” He told them, and all three exchanged uncertain looks, and then one looked up at him.
“Standing up to Br’un would have only gotten us beaten to a pulp by him later on.” He said dismally, and the man sighed with a clearly compassionate look.
“We all must make our own choices Li’am…. Yes, perhaps it would have gotten you into a fight. But sometimes – what is right – is worth fighting FOR. Or – perhaps when they saw the 3 of you NOT agreeing to go along – perhaps some of the other apprentices would have taken courage and stood with you. No one likes being ruled by a bully. But what does a bully do if when he says do this now…. Everyone just looks at him, and does NOT do it? A bully can try to make you do something that is wrong – but the choice is always up to you if you do it or not. You can’t do as he says, and later claim you had no choice in the matter. There is usually ALWAYS another choice.” He said gently, and the 3 boys all studied him intently now…. As did the others at the other table, and as did the overseer, still unnoticed by those at the tables.
“He said my mother let me come with Mistress Ne’al, because she didn’t want me around at home anymore – I eat too much.” One growled darkly, and now the man chuckled softly as he reached over and ruffled the boy’s short hair.
“Now I KNOW you knew in your heart that was not the truth. He did that to make you act in anger. People who are angry do not think – and that is what he wanted….. for you not to think first. Worked pretty good did it?” he asked, and the boys all nodded, then looked at him.
“Don’t you feel angry sometimes? You’re new here – most new people are really angry and upset at first.” One asked softly, and he seemed to consider them before he spoke.
“I am not angry because of myself personally – because I do not remember much of anything else…. But – for how myself and you and the others were brought here – that is not right. For that I feel some anger.” He said, and Kendra gasped loudly, causing both him and the overseer to quickly turn to her. Instantly she rushed over to the man at the table.
“You do not mean that – I know you do not! We ALL realize what a distinction it is to be chosen to be here – and how the good of the common is more important than the selfish desires of the individual!” she told him very loudly… her heart leaping into her throat as she saw his gaze go past her, to rest on the overseer just beyond.
“No, I do not know that Kendra – although you have certainly tried to impress it upon me.” He said blandly – then suddenly gasped and fell sideways out of the chair, his hand to his neck as he writhed in pain. She turned to see the overseer on his horse, with a small control box in his hand, smiling broadly as he pointed it at the one still spasming hard at her feet.
“Stop it! Stop it – you’ll kill him! He’s not physically recovered from his injuries in the shuttle crash! He doesn’t know any better! How can he obey rules he does not even remember?!” she shouted fiercely, scowling as the overseer merely turned a dial, at which the one at her feet let out a harsh involuntary cry of anguish as his limbs convulsed hard, over and over, his face rapidly turning a dusky blue. The overseer let the man writhe for several long minutes more – then finally released the button and glared hard at her.
“Then, I will hold YOU responsible for seeing that he knows them from now on Healer Kendra! He had better change that attitude – and fast – or him and I will definitely be getting to know one another quite closely!” he growled, even as he turned the horse, striking it on the flank and rapidly trotting away. Instantly Kendra dropped to her knees beside the figure that now lay sprawled on his back on the floor, his arms and legs still twitching severely and involuntarily. There was the vague odor of ozone about him, attesting to the use of the collar and her eyes filled with tears that matched those that had run down his cheeks during the application of the device. His breathing rasped shakily and irregularly, as he lay unconscious on the ground before her.
She looked up at a sound to now find the Baker kneeling across from her with a deeply concerned look. Kendra knew that while using the collar for discipline was something they all knew happened - it had never been done in public and before others like this. Usually the overseer just came bursting into your home to play this favorite game of his….
“We can bring him inside my shop –“ he volunteered, and she shook her head as she felt very gently at the man’s pulse at his neck.
“It was a longer and harder than usual application…. It’s still echoing throughout his brain and through his nervous system. If we touch him now – it will feel like the application has started again…. We have to wait until he stops twitching like this.” She whispered, and he nodded with a sympathetic look.
Slowly, oh so slowly the man became aware of a soft voice nearby. Melodic, the thought occurred to him vaguely. He tried to move and found he hurt deeply, all over – everywhere. Soon he felt gentle hands lifting him, and lying him on something much softer than where he had been earlier. He fought to open his eyes, to find only a blur before him that spun sickeningly. He gagged hard and felt strong hands gently turn him onto his side and hold his head as his entire body spasmed with the forceful deep retching that overcame him. Finally he was laid back and now there came a coolness to his face and neck. His head throbbed at every pulse beat and he felt much too weak to even try to open his eyes again. Quickly, the bliss of unconsciousness reclaimed him.
Finally he awoke again, this time to a hand on his chest, and he opened heavy eyelids to see the drawn and worried looking features of his friend the healer bending over him. Very gently she stroked his cheek with a soft smile.
“Hi there…. Are you awake this time for real?” she whispered softly, and at his one nod she smiled sadly and now took his hand in hers and squeezed it.
“W – wha’…. Happen’” he lisped foggily and she sighed as she wrung out a cloth from the basin on the stool beside her.
“You decided to play with the overseer – and he activated that collar around your neck for you. I told you that thing was no decoration!” she said a little sternly, her movements now swift and rough as she wiped his face and neck with it.
“Wh – wh – why…. R you … angry wid me – “ he murmured fuzzily and she scowled fully at him.
“Because Jinny – he could have killed you! You are not recovered fully from the injuries you already had before! And I’ve explained how it is here to you. You do NOT let anyone overhear you saying anything at all critical of the way things are run now! What were you thinking of!” she demanded hotly, and he blinked heavily at her several times - then struggled to sit up, swaying badly and half falling back against the wall as the wave of dizziness nearly obliterated him.
He blinked to try to bring her and the room into focus, but had little luck.
“S – s- sorry – “ he breathed shallowly, even as he forced himself forward and ended up falling onto his hands and knees on the floor. Shakily, he started crawling slowly towards the bathroom and she scowled at him.
“Where do you think you are going?” she demanded harshly, and he paused to look back at her.
“I – I – I…. I need to get to the baf’rm…” he stammered, and as soon as he had indeed gotten there and closed the door – she heard the sounds of him being sick to his stomach again…. Over and over and over even.
Finally there was silence, and she waited. And waited… and waited… then finally she went and knocked on the door.
“Jinn? Are you all right? Do you need some clean clothes?” she called… but got no answer.
She didn’t wait to ask again, but instead opened the door, to find him curled up tightly on the bathroom in a ball that just radiated pain and misery. Quickly she went over and knelt beside him, stretching out with her intuitive sense, and drew back quickly. No wonder he was still sick to his stomach – the trembling had stopped, but in his brain there were still faint echoes of the torture he had experienced.
Gently she went to roll him over, only to find he resisted.
“No…. leave me alone…. I’m fine –“ he whispered weakly and she frowned as she gently reached over to feel at the pulse in his wrist..
“No, you are not just fine mister. Not by a long shot!” she observed, more to herself than to him. She gently rubbed his back, reaching gently to reassure him – and was surprised to find he’d suddenly put up some kind of wall of blankness in his mind that kept her from reaching him. How curious! She had never before encountered anything like it!
Finally, eventually, after quiet words and soothing tones, she was able to get the man back into bed, where now he lay blinking at her very heavily, his features nearly as white as the sheets and looking very heavily dazed still.
“Sometimes – you have to say it’s wrong…. Sometimes – somebody jus’ has to….” He lisped at her softly, and now she knelt beside the bed.
“Shhh… I think you’ve had enough trouble for one day, Master Jinn…. You’re not in any condition to debate the subject at the moment I’m afraid.” She whispered softly, gently stroking his hair, and he sighed shallowly.
“Somebod’e will have to… some day….. s’ not right…. Takin’ people from der’ homes…. You know it’s not…. Everyone knows its’ not…” he murmured fadingly as he blinked up at her as if extremely drowsy and she smiled at him fondly.
“Hush now… shhh… Look – I’m not asking you to believe it’s right… I ‘m just asking you to pretend you don’t object. Isn’t that better than how you felt when the collar was turned on? It’s not like YOU lost anyone – not that you remember anyway. Look at what this had done to you…. Please Jinn… please… you just have to learn how to pretend is all – knowing what and who to be afraid of is a smart thing- “ she told him… and got a very weak hint of a smile in return.
“No…. fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate leads to suffering…. The path to the dark side that is –“ he murmured with an exhausted blink and had to struggle to keep his eyes open and she smiled at him fondly as she gently stroked the long hair, fanning it out over the pillow.
“Where did you ever hear such a thing Jinny? I guess it’s true in a way though… but – you don’t need to be discussing all of this now… You really need to rest. Resisting that device has cost you a lot – more than you could afford I think. Sleep now –“ she said softly and gently, the last with a touch to his forehead, and she felt him instantly spiral down into slumber. For a long several minutes she just stared at the slack features so close beside her, even as she still stroked him and she felt the sting of tears come up behind her eyes.
“What is it about you Jinny? Hate leads to suffering – that sounds like something you’d get from one of those old tales of olden times…. Myths and legends type of stuff….. don’t you know that today – compromise is the way things go? The best way?” she thought as she slowly ran a finger down his cheek, across his chin, and it came to rest upon his lips. She could feel each small, shallow breath he let out, and knew the fall from the chair and spasms of the device had re-sensitized his already still tender side.
Suddenly, without thinking first at all, she felt her heart open out to him with a depth she never had for any other patient. Had it only been 3 days since she’d kissed him in the yard…. Only 17 days since she’d first laid eyes on the man? His kindness and gentleness she loved…. But did he have to be a fanatic for justice and right as well? Even if it meant it might well get him killed? Very, very gently she gathered the sleeping man up into her arms and cradled him, rocking slowly to and fro as she rested her cheek on top of his head. Now she focused her healing energy more than ever before in her life, and centered it on the man in her arms… a man she was a little afraid that just maybe had become much more than just another patient to her.
TBC
