Summary: Shimi Skywalker talks about the events on Naboo, and her life afterwards…
Rated: PG13
Archive: Yes to 'The Master's Pathway" @ http://www.geocities.com/jinnaraq/index.html
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars and all publicly recognizable characters, names and references, etc are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd, Lucasarts Inc and 20th Century Fox. This fan fiction was created solely for personal use and private entertainment. No money was made from it. No copyright or trademark infringement was intended. This work and its author are NOT in any way connected with or to Lucasfilms Ltd. George in all his imaginative glory created them – we just get to borrow for awhile and then gladly return them….
Chapter One:
Some good things did come out of the disaster that was Naboo. Oh, I know it was an utter fiasco for the Jedi, an ending of trusting in peace for those who live on the planet, the uncertainty for all of knowing the Sith have returned… and it nearly meant the death of one particularly infamous Jedi Master. It is said that all of the Jedi felt his joining with the Force when it happened… and how it is that he is here today, alive and well, is something not even the ancient Master Yoda can explain.
Oh, but it was nearly not so. For weeks his life hung by the thinnest of threads, him being in deep shock, unconscious and barely alive by even the smallest of measures. It is said that his master, the same ancient Jedi, refused to leave his bedside the entire time. Many think it was that alone that allowed for Qui-Gon Jinn's survival. But even that does not explain how he went from dying and becoming one with the Force, and yet somehow came back to being a living and breathing, albeit critically wounded victim of that battle. Not even the Jedi would comment on it. Not any of them. When pressed all the revered and ancient Master Yoda would do is shake his head, sigh, and say - 'the will of the Force it was.'
I am glad I did not know of it at the time it happened. I had entrusted my son's life and his care to Qui-Gon Jinn. To think that my only son, only 9 years old then, would so shortly lose that great mentor and influence in his life would have been enough to have made me risk escape from my slavery to go to him instantly. As it was, you cannot imagine my dismayed surprise when only 6 months after Anakin's leaving, my owner Watto informed me that I had been sold to a new owner!
I was devastated, utterly devastated. If my new owner took me from the only place Anakin knew to find me, my chances of ever seeing him again would be virtually lost forever. When we reached the spaceship outside the city with my meager belongings and the little equipment for repairing computer parts that had been included as part of my purchase, you cannot imagine my reaction to seeing the tall figure of Qui-Gon Jinn waiting impatiently for us!
When he explained that the subterfuge had been necessary or Watto may never have agreed at any price, I swallowed dryly. This man had done so much already. I had never in my wildest dreams thought he would come back for me! I practically raced into the ship, expecting to see my beloved little boy… only to be sorely disappointed. With a gentle hand the tall Jedi Master escorted me to a table, poured me a cup of fresh tea, and told me all that had happened since he had left with my son as his charge.
I had never met this former apprentice of his who was now training Anakin to be a Jedi… but Qui-Gon certainly seemed to have great faith in the young man. It helped to know that he himself had trained Obi-Wan Kenobi… but I could not help but wish that the man before me was the one to be my son's instructor. As he told me why and how it had come about… told me of his injury, I felt my eyes widen and my heartbeat sped up. I did not have to be a healer to know that a wound such as he described should have been immediately fatal.
During our return journey to Naboo, where I insisted that I wanted to be allowed to thank this queen who had unknowingly been a guest in my home… and who had provided the funds for my purchase, I could not help but carefully observe my Jedi host. He did seem to tire easily I noticed, getting short of breath far sooner than I would expect of him. But, the night I came upon him sitting bare-chested on the edge of the royal spa, the still angry red scar prominent on his back, with a matching version on his chest - I actually felt dizzy and weak for a moment.
I could imagine the pain such a wound would cause and what great an effort it would have taken to recover from such a devastating injury…. The shy, uncertain look he gave me truly endeared him to me all the more. Then - to hear him apologize profoundly for 'not keeping my promise to train the boy myself' - just left me speechless. I soon found my eyes smarting with tears as I sensed that he felt he had failed both myself and my son.
I was glad that he was there on Naboo when I was reunited with Anakin for the first time, and was able to meet and get to know young Obi-Wan, now a Jedi Knight. Then I was parted from my son once again. At least he knew I was no longer slave and lived now in freedom.
For 5 years I lived and worked on Naboo, and never once did I fail to rejoice at each and every sunrise Once every year, on my son's birthday, Obi-Wan brought Anakin to spend 2 weeks with me… and it was GrandMaster Yoda himself who ensured that Ani sent me a holovid every month. Oh how I waited for the arrival of those precious packages!
From my son I learned that eventually Master Jinn had requested and been given assignment among the Outer Rim worlds. I could not believe it! The Outer Rim was infamous for the violence, lawlessness and low regard for the value of life - any life. What in the name of the Sacred Stars would make him request such a difficult assignment, much less go alone, without even an apprentice to assist on the missions? And how could this all-wise Jedi Council have LET him go!?
For 5 years he remained out there, never once coming back to Coruscant, nor Naboo, and often my thoughts drifted to him. I was afraid that guilt and what he felt was his failure with my son might have had some influence in his choice to stay away…. And I knew that if anything happened to him as a result it would haunt me the rest of my days. So it was with joy and gladness that I heard from Ani that the Jedi Master had finally returned… not in the best of health apparently, but at least in one piece!
That next year when Anakin came for his birthday, it was Qui-Gon himself who escorted him, and at my absolute insistence the Master stayed as a guest with us as well. Having him of all people stay at the local inn was just unacceptable to me. And this time, GrandMaster Yoda had given them both an entire month! Apparently Young Kenobi was off for a retreat and training period, and so Qui-Gon had been chosen to oversee Anakin’s visit.
Even now he stayed up late, and yet was up long before I in the morning. I saw for myself the thinness of the man's cheeks, the dark circles of weariness under his eyes, the small lapses of attention when his exhaustion would sneak up on him. But it was the fine tremor to his hands when he picked up a hot cup of tea in the evenings that spoke volumes to me of perhaps why this visit was extended.
Jedi Master be damned! I wanted to shake him, just wring his neck… There was no way I could watch the one who had rescued my son from a life of slavery and given him a life of noble purpose instead, beat himself into the ground! It finally came to one long, loud (on my part) major confrontation between us. I accused him of committing slow suicide and demanded to know just what affect he thought THAT would have on my son! I accused him of wallowing in anger - told him he was hiding his anger at the Council who had denied his request to train my son, and his anger at the Sith who had injured him, and yes, anger at himself for not being able to defeat the Sith immediately.
"How can you train anyone when you will not even allow yourself to be human! Humans make mistakes! Maybe you WEREN'T strong enough to kill the Sith alone! Maybe you SHOULD have waited! Does that make everything you are and the rest of your entire life not matter? Since when do you think you have the right to expect perfection from yourself!? Is that what you would ask of my son? That he kill himself for every mistake he ever makes? No wonder they did not want you to train him!" I shouted at him furiously. But, he did not get mad in return, which only infuriated me more, and that night my anger drove him out the door and into the cold and wet night. It WOULD be raining of course! Within minutes I regretted it.
And - it did not help when the following evening he half-staggered in, obviously having been on the worse end of some kind of fight. Straight to the bedroom he weaved his way, only to sway once as he reached for his travel bag as if intent on leaving, and then suddenly he crumpled into a heap on the floor. I don't know who he scared more, I or Anakin! Gods was I grateful when as I carefully turned him over, I felt his chest rise and fall.
Then, it turned out that he had a high fever on top of it… plus a concussion and 2 broken ribs the healer reported. I felt so guilty that I insisted I be allowed to care for him in our home rather than have the healers take him to the medical ward. I just felt awful as for hours that night I gently mopped his fevered brow or sat and held the limp hand, wishing I could ease the sense of pain I felt in him if he even did as little as sigh.
It was 2 days before he half opened his eyes and stirred feebly in the bed. Carefully and gently I raised him up by the shoulders, held the cup for him and coaxed him to take a few sips of water for the first time. It just melted my heart the way he tried to stifle a moan and instinctively burrowed his face into my robe as if in desperate need of comfort from the pain in his ribs and head.
For a week more the healer ordered him confined to bed rest. It was not long though before Anakin decided this unique situation lent itself to the opportunity for long conversations with the Jedi Master… who had soon talked my son into helping him up and out of bed LONG before the healers felt he should be. It took a firm hand indeed to look after him. Why are Jedi so stubborn and headstrong?
He never mentioned the argument we had had… and only looked at me as if sincerely puzzled if I tried to bring it up. I don't know if I believed that the head injury had taken the memory of that night or not really - but by the time he was allowed to sit up in the living room recliner and let Anakin entertain him, he seemed to have shed much of that inner darkness.
Now it was his turn to tell the stories. He told Anakin fascinating tales of ancient mythological beings from all kinds of worlds, legends of long ago Jedi, even the classic works of literature from throughout the galaxy, all brought to life by that deep, velvety voice, his intense gaze and the mercurial expressions on his face. A true storyteller at work, I would think to myself with a smile as I sat with them before the fire at night, working on my mending. Anakin was just positively enchanted… and I have to admit, he had me as well caught up in his 'story-spells' more than just once!
Once allowed up out of the chair, he surprised me with his seemingly automatic helpfulness... There were always fresh flowers on the table, the dishes were never dirty, the floor never went unswept or the fire unlit or not tended. If I close my eyes I can still see him and Anakin in the kitchen, at the sink, the Master with his tunic sleeves rolled up, a wisp or two of his hair hanging loose and in his eyes, up to his elbows in the washtub of bubbles and dishes. Beside him stands my 15 year old son, coming up to his armpits in height, pausing in his drying of a dish to reach up and gently brush the elder's hair away from his eyes for him.
They talked of anything and everything as they did this together. I heard bits of riddles, words of philosophy, the mysteries of love and romance, matters of politics and culture… and yes, even the risqué joke or two as I passed by. I think doing the dishes quickly became one of my son's favorite times of the day! Together, he and Anakin even did the laundry and made many small improvements and long left untended repairs that were needed around the house!
Even now, in my mind's eye I can see the two of them sprawled on the floor before the fire, their heads together as they bent intently over some mechanical part they are trying to adapt or rewire for some purpose or other. Anakin loves anything mechanical, and I have never seen anyone as patient as Qui-Gon in guiding him in taking apart and putting together their bits and pieces. I have no idea how he procured them, since he was NOT supposed to leave the house on his own yet…. Still, every few days he had a 'new project' - as he put it… for them to investigate together… and my son's eyes would just light up from within, which was then reflected brilliantly in the Jedi Master's soft smile and the look of affection in his eyes.
By the time the month had gone by… the Naboo Royal Healer was NOT ready to release Qui-Gon Jinn to return to Coruscant. It had only been 3 weeks since his injury and the healers felt the physical pressures of hyperspace travel could possibly be too much for his ribs. Much to all of our utter amazement, Master Yoda said this too was 'the will of the Force'… and gave them both another full month on Naboo!
'Keep Master Jinn out of trouble and from needing MORE healer's services you will please! More supervision than an initiate he sometimes is in need of when healing he should be doing! Mind his restrictions you must find a way to coerce him into - and if that fails - SIT on him I would advise!' the ancient one told my son, while Qui-Gon looked on with an expression of quiet amusement - as Anakin's jaw nearly fell to the floor at such an suggestion.
"I do not need a babysitter, Master-" the Jedi coolly told the holograph figure, who nodded as if agreeing with him.
"No, my Padawan - but a KEEPER at times like this - yes indeed you DO need! Shall we discuss your last mission to Antares? HOW many times did the poor healers there have to reset and re-glue those bones when you would choose to ignore their restrictions and do as you felt inclined? 'I was bored and there were things I wanted to do and get done since I'm here-' - is that NOT the explanation you offered?" he reproved sternly. I saw the Jedi's eyes twinkle with mischief as he bit down on his lip to repress his smile, while he folded his hands securely into his robe as Anakin stared up at him in disbelief.
And yet, not more than 2 days later would you care to guess WHO I found sparring with Anakin outside when I returned from the market? I didn't think Jedi Masters could be made to blush…. But I now know ONE who does! I IMMEDIATELY sent him to bed for him afternoon nap - and I tried to stay stern when an hour later he came out of the bedroom looking miserable. With one hand covertly held to his side, he sat down VERY carefully in the chair. I remained convincingly unrelenting with him, until he reached for the blanket beside him - and gasped sharply and suddenly froze as a reminder that he had not yet healed managed to make itself known.
Slowly he sat up and leaned back, closed his eyes, seeming tense and breathing shallowly as he waited for the muscle spasm to pass, both hands slowly coming up to fold protectively over his chest. I went around behind the chair and gently put my arms down over his shoulders. I could feel his breath catch with every intake of air.
"Relax… don't fight it." I tried to soothe as I gently stroked the bearded cheek, and slowly I felt his breathing ease and finally he was able to swallow dryly and gave a soft, shallow, shaky sigh as he unwound his arms and rested his hands limply on the arms of the chair.
"Force, that hurt -" he murmured weakly, his eyes still closed and now I noticed he had indeed turned pale. Gently I put the chair back and claimed the nearby blanket and spread it out over the long form. I felt a tinge of concern at his pallor, then felt at his wrist and counted his pulse. It was rapid, but strong as he gave the merest ghost of a smile as he realized what I was doing.
"Do you feel short of breath?" I asked and he shook his head just a little, opening his eyes to mere slits of blue.
"Just - just tired…. Couldn't sleep… too sore. My just desserts, my Master would tell me…" he said softly as I took up and held his one of his hands and now perched on the arm of the chair to sit beside him.
"Your Master would be right - but I don't think he would feel that leaving you in pain would be justified either. Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked and he shook his head.
"S-Sorry to be such a bother really… it's - it's not my usual role…" he said softly, blinking heavily and I smiled. I could feel the tension easing now in him, his hand warm in mine.
"Enough of that now Qui-Gon… I'll tell you when you become a bother - that I promise you. Now try to rest - these afternoon naps were prescribed for a reason you know." I soothed, again stroking his cheek and this time he only nodded in silence. I studied him as he relaxed, concerned as suddenly he looked very worn and still frail, the darkness threatening to return under his eyes and faint lines appearing in his features, and I realized he'd been using the Force to appear more recovered than he really was.
"You've been putting up an illusion for us Qui-Gon Jinn - and that's a no-no! No wonder the healer wouldn't clear you for travel! Look at you - worn to a frazzle, too sore to be moving much at ALL really, and you tell me you were concerned about being a BOTHER - " I scolded gently and he sighed very shallowly, blinking heavily now as he grew drowsy...
"I didn’t want to alarm Ani … and you - seemed to be making such a fuss over whether I ate, or had slept, or was tired… now all of THIS on top of it…. I- I really prefer you wouldn't," he said lowly, and I sighed as now I gently stroked the silver streaked cinnamon-brown hair, and he seemed to practically melt under my touch, whether he wanted to or not.
I closed my eyes and tried to picture sending him healing light. I don' t know if it worked or not, but when I opened my eyes, it was to find him soundly asleep, a faint smile ghosting his lips. His color did look a little bit improved already. I couldn't help but bend and gave a soft kiss to his forehead…
"Stubborn Jedi - you'll not fool me again ~" I whispered softly to him, trailing my fingertips down his cheek. His only reaction was to give up a soft sigh as I gently covered him more with the blanket and left him to his much needed rest.
TBC