Discussing Hormonal Changes With Your Children

by Tahira Ali

 

Our young people, boys and girls, go through changes at a certain age
(the age differs by the child but averages between 12 and 14 I
think, but it can be younger or older than this). These times are
very trying and confusing for many of them. They have already gone
through fitting in, peer pressure, discrimination or racism based on
race, religion, the brand of clothes they wear, the kind of gum they
chew, YOU NAME IT, and then comes "the change."

What is "the change"? "The change is the point when their bodies
get curvier, hair grows in certain places that it wasn't before,
rapid growth can occur, HORMONES RAGE, and NOW they're being singled out for not only their clothing but their sex appeal too (excuse my
strong language but it MUST be said).  AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

This is a very important time for our young people and we must be
there to support them. Don't get me wrong, it may not be easy.
See, when "the change" comes, your children may not even like you
very much anymore. They may think your "help" is cramping their
style. They may think you are too old fashioned. They will
probably value their friends' opinions over yours BUT...that doesn't
mean stop trying.

We have to battle for the lives of our children. When they start to
change, Shaitan starts to whisper even more, take off your hijab,
show your body, flirt with that boy, etc. Don't assume that they
know how to handle these changes because you may be SERIOUSLY wrong.
Some don't even understand why their feelings change for the people
who are the closest to them let alone how to handle the increased
pressure to be assertive to the opposite sex.

In come the parents to help combat these emotions. Talk to your
children and keep communication open so they don't get the wrong
information. Give them ayat and ahadith about lowering the gaze,
fasting to curb these feelings, etc. Start talking to them early
about the feelings they may experience when "the change" occurs.
Let them know and make them understand how important their bodies
are and how to use them the way they should be used. Give them a
good role model to follow by presenting yourself the way they should
present themselves. The best learning tool for them is YOU!

Save yourselves and your families from the hellfire , right?

If you don't know how to talk to your children then get someone who
can (preferably a good role model also and not just the one Muslimah
or Muslim who talks a lot). Make the someone a person who is worth
admiring and someone they would WANT to take advice from. We cannot
let our children run their own lives and hope for the best because,
even with all of the curves, added height, and their spankin' new
changes, they are still children inside. They need you even if they
act like they don't.

So to conclude (I said I would make this shorter than the last one
but I guess I just couldn't stop writing), be there for your
children and address the issue of hormonal changes that they will or
are going through. It COULD be the difference between them making a
choice for Allah or being pulled in by the whispers of Shaitan.

I love you all for the sake of Allah and I am cheering for you young
people! Make good choices and value yourselves. May Allah reward
you for enduring your own personal jihad.

Anything I have said that is good is from Allah and any thing bad is
from me.

Tahira