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Jack and his friends were playing golf
one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off,
a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends
look at each other; look at the guy and say, 'Sure.'
About two holes into the game, the friends get curious
about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him.
The stranger tells them he's a hit man. They all laugh.
The guy says, 'No really, I am a hit man. My gun is
in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take
a look at it if you like.' So Jack decides to check
it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is
a rifle with a huge scope attached. Jack gets all excited
and says, 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here!
May I look?' The hit man replies, 'Sure.' So Jack looks
and says, 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see
through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife.
Wait, there's my next door neighbor! And he's naked
too!' This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it
would be for a hit. The hit man replies, 'I get $1000
every time I pull the trigger.' Jack responds, '$1000?
Well, OK, I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife
right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I
can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor
in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife.'
The hit man agrees, gears up and looks through the scope.
He's looking for about five minutes until finally Jack
starts to get really impatient and asks, 'What are you
waiting for? The hit man replies, 'Relax..... I'm about
to save you a thousand bucks!'
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