Band 9 IELTS Writing Sample: IELTS Exam Tips and Tricks

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**00:00:00**  
If you know what you're doing, writing an IELTS essay is easy.  
如果你知道自己在做什麼，寫雅思作文就很容易。

**Whether you write your essay on the computer or write it in the paper based test,**  
無論你是在電腦上寫作文，還是在紙筆測驗中寫作，

**It is possible when you receive your score report to get a band nine.**  
當你收到成績單時，有可能拿到九分。

**You just need to know what the examiners are looking for.**  
你只需要知道考官在看什麼。

**So in this video, I'm going to break down this task to sample response and explain some key reasons why the candidate would likely achieve a band nine score.**  
所以在這個視頻中，我將拆解這個任務，展示範例回應，並解釋一些關鍵原因，為什麼考生有可能取得九分。

**By the end of this lesson, you'll know exactly what it takes to write an excellent IELTS essay.**  
到課程結束時，你會知道寫出優秀雅思作文的必要條件。

**And you'll have learned plenty of tips and tricks to use in your essay on test day.**  
並且你會學到許多在考試當天可以用的技巧。

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**00:00:39**  
Let's start off by looking at the writing task two essay prompt.  
讓我們從看寫作任務二的題目開始。

**It says more and more people are shifting to a plant based diet.**  
題目說，越來越多的人轉向植物性飲食。

**Why is this the case?**  
為什麼會這樣？

**Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?**  
你認為這是正面還是負面的發展？

**Now, the first thing you should do for every task 2 essay is analyse the prompt and make sure you know exactly how to answer it.**  
現在，每個任務二作文，首先要做的事是分析題目，確保你知道如何回答。

**That's because if you don't fully answer the essay prompt, it will be impossible to get a band nine.**  
因為如果你沒有完整回答題目，就不可能拿到九分。

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**00:01:17**  
This prompt starts with a statement.  
這個題目以一個陳述句開頭。

**More and more people are shifting to a plant based diet.**  
越來越多的人轉向植物性飲食。

**This is the topic that you'll write about.**  
這就是你要寫的主題。

**People are moving from eating meat to eating primarily food from plants such as fruit, vegetables, and cereals.**  
人們正從吃肉轉向主要食用植物性食物，如水果、蔬菜和穀物。

**Then there are two questions.**  
接著有兩個問題。

**Why is this the case?**  
為什麼會這樣？

**Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?**  
你認為這是正面還是負面的發展？

**The first question is asking about reasons why people are changing to a plant based diet.**  
第一個問題是在問人們為什麼改變飲食習慣。

**And the second question is asking you to state your position or opinion about that.**  
第二個問題則是在請你表達你的立場或意見。

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**00:01:59**  
You must answer both of these questions in detail to get a band nine.  
你必須詳細回答這兩個問題，才能拿到九分。

**If you only write about one of the questions or if you write a lot about the reasons, but only one or two sentences on your opinion, your band score will be limited.**  
如果你只寫其中一個問題，或是只就原因寫很多，但對意見只說一兩句，你的分數會受限。

**Also, notice the language in the statement.**  
另外，注意句子中的用詞。

**It uses the present continuous verb tense more and more people are shifting to a plant based diet.**  
它用的是現在進行式：越來越多的人轉向植物性飲食。

**We use the present continuous to describe a trend, something that is developing now.**  
我們用現在進行式來描述一個趨勢，某事目前正在發展中。

**This is really important.**  
這非常重要。

**You need to write about the reasons why people who used to eat meat are now moving to a plant based diet.**  
你需要寫出為什麼曾經吃肉的人現在轉向植物性飲食的原因。

**The question is not asking for general reasons why some people don't eat meat.**  
題目不是在問一些人不吃肉的普遍原因。

**For a band nine, your reasons and examples must be directly relevant to the question.**  
要拿九分，你的理由和例子必須與題目直接相關。

**This prompt is a double question essay type, but there can be other types of essay questions in writing task two.**  
這是雙重問題型的作文，但在任務二中還可能有其他題型。

**If you want to know how to answer every type of prompt, head over to E2 test prep and sign up for free.**  
如果想知道如何回答每一種題型，可以去E2測驗準備課程，免費註冊。

**We've got video lessons on methods for writing all the IELTS essay types in writing task two.**  
我們有關於寫作任務二所有雅思作文類型的方法的影片課程。

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**00:03:13**  
Alright. So now we know what the essay prompt is asking us to write about.  
好了，現在我們知道題目要我們寫的是什麼。

**Let's look at how our band nine candidates has responded.**  
讓我們來看看一位九分考生的回應。

**Feel free to pause the video and read through the candidate's entire response.**  
請隨意暫停影片，閱讀這位考生的完整回應。

**This might also be a good time to click that subscribe button so you'll know when we release more IELTS videos.**  
這也是點擊訂閱按鈕的好時機，這樣就會知道我們何時發布更多雅思影片。

**That was a good essay, wasn't it?**  
那是一篇不錯的文章，對吧？

**Let's have a closer look at some important things the candidate has done to fulfil the band nine descriptors,**  
讓我們仔細看看考生為了符合九分標準所做的一些重要事情。

**starting with the introduction.**  
從引言開始。

**Look at the thesis statement.**  
看看論點句。

**That's the second sentence here.**  
那是這裡的第二句。

**This essay will examine the key drivers of this trend and argue that it is a largely positive development.**  
這篇文章將探討這一趨勢的主要推動因素，並論證這是一個主要正面的發展。

**The band nine descriptor for the task response criterion says, a clear position is presented, which directly answers the questions.**  
九分的任務回應標準指出，要提出明確立場，並直接回答問題。

**This thesis statement shows that the candidate is going to answer both questions and that they have a clear position that it's a largely positive development.**  
這個論點句顯示考生將回答兩個問題，並明確表明立場：這是一個主要正面的發展。

**This is a really good start.**  
這是一個非常好的開始。

**Let's see how they developed the essay in the first body paragraph.**  
讓我們看看他們如何在第一段正文中展開。

**This paragraph helps to fulfil the requirements of the task response descriptor.**  
這段幫助符合任務回應的標準。

**Ideas are relevant, fully extended, and well supported.**  
觀點相關、充分展開且有力支持。

**It provides two clear reasons for an increase in plant based diets.**  
它提出了兩個明確的原因：人們對植物性飲食的增加。

**People's ethical or environmental concerns.**  
人們的道德或環境關切。

**Each idea is extended and supported with examples inhumane conditions, and deforestation and greenhouse gas emissions.**  
每個觀點都用例子來擴展與支持，例如：不人道的狀況、森林砍伐與溫室氣體排放。

**Also, notice how the candidate has ensured their ideas are relevant to this prompt by relating them to a current trend or development.**  
另外，注意考生如何確保他們的想法與題目相關，透過連結到當前的趨勢或發展。

當然，以下是剩餘部分的短語拆解與中文翻譯：  

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**00:05:13**  
Remember the question in the prompt asked you to explain why more and more people are shifting to a plant based diet now.  
記住，題目要求你解釋為什麼現在越來越多的人轉向植物性飲食。

**So this candidate says in recent years, confronting information about practices involved in some large scale meat and dairy farming has emerged.**  
所以這位考生說，近年來，關於某些大型肉類和乳製品農場做法的相關資訊開始浮現。

**This shows a real depth of understanding of the prompt and how to respond with relevant ideas.**  
這展現了對題目和如何用相關想法回應的深入理解。

**The candidate could just say people are shifting to a plant based diet because they think eating meat is unethical.**  
考生也可以只說人們轉向植物性飲食，是因為他們認為吃肉不道德。

**But that doesn't explain why they think that now.**  
但這並沒有說明他們為什麼現在會這樣想。

**By linking the reason to a recent development,**  
通過將原因與近期的發展連結，

**The candidate is explaining why the trend is happening now, and this is really the key to getting a band nine for task response.**  
這位考生解釋了為什麼這個趨勢現在正在發生，這也是取得九分任務回應的關鍵。

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**00:06:38**  
Make sure that the examiner can't read any of your supporting ideas and ask the question why?  
確保考官看不到你的支持性想法，並問自己：為什麼？

**Let's look at how the candidate fulfills the grammatical range and accuracy criterion in this paragraph.**  
讓我們來看看這位考生如何在這段落中達到語法範圍和準確性的標準。

**One of the descriptors says, punctuation and grammar are used appropriately throughout.**  
其中一個標準是，標點符號和語法在整篇文章中都適當使用。

**Here's a complex sentence using appropriate verb tenses and voice.**  
這是一個使用適當動詞時態和語態的複雜句。

**The candidate says information has emerged using the present perfect tense' active voice to describe a recent change.**  
考生說：“資訊已經浮現”，用的是現在完成式的主動語態，描述近期的變化。

**Then they say animals are raised, using the present simple tense for something that is generally true, in the passive voice because the people doing the action aren't important.**  
然後他們說：“動物被飼養”，用的是一般現在式的被動語態，因為行動的執行者並不重要。

**There are multiple phrases and clauses in this sentence and commas are accurately used to connect them all.**  
這個句子中有多個短語和子句，逗號的使用也很正確。

**By choosing the appropriate verb tenses, the candidate is able to communicate their meaning clearly.**  
透過選擇適當的動詞時態，考生能清楚傳達意思。

**And this is key for a band nine.**  
這對九分來說非常關鍵。

**You need to use a range of structures for the appropriate reason.**  
你需要為了適當的原因，使用多樣的句型。

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**00:07:17**  
Let's look at the next paragraph.  
我們來看下一段。

**And see one key thing the candidate does to help boost their score in task response.**  
並看看這位考生在提升任務回應分數方面做的一個關鍵點。

**In this paragraph, the candidate answers the second question in the essay prompt.**  
在這段中，考生回答了作文題目的第二個問題。

**They explain their position that the development is generally positive and give relevant reasons with examples to support it.**  
他們解釋了自己的立場：這個發展大多是正面的，並用相關的理由和例子來支持。

**But then they add a point about some possible negative consequences of the development.**  
但接著，他們補充了這個發展可能帶來的一些負面後果。

**They say a major shift away from animal products would have negative consequences for that industry, however.**  
他們說：“遠離動物產品的重大轉變，將對該行業產生負面影響。”

**And explained that mitigation strategies would be needed to lessen the impact.**  
並解釋需要採取緩解策略來減少影響。

**By acknowledging that some aspects of an increase in plant based diets may not be as positive as others.**  
通過承認植物性飲食增加的某些方面可能不像其他方面那麼正面。

**The candidate is able to fulfill the task response descriptor, which says the prompt is appropriately addressed and explored in-depth.**  
這位考生能達到任務回應的標準，並深入探討題目。

**Acknowledging another side to the argument is a really efficient way of exploring the topic in-depth.**  
承認另一面，有助於深入探討主題。

**With limited time and only a few hundred words, you can't cover every aspect of the topic.**  
在有限的時間和字數下，無法涵蓋所有細節。

**But showing you're aware of both sides of the issue shows greater depth of exploration than stating it's only positive or negative.**  
但表明你了解雙方，展現更深的分析，而不是只說正面或負面。

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**00:08:38**  
This paragraph is also a great example of how to meet the coherence and cohesion descriptor.  
這段也是符合連貫與衔接標準的好例子。

**Cohesion is used in such a way that it rarely attracts attention.**  
連接詞的使用讓文章不會太突兀。

**What does attract attention mean here?**  
“吸引注意”在這裡是什麼意思？

**Well, To answer that, let me show you a paragraph where the cohesion attracts a lot of attention.**  
好吧，為了回答這個問題，我來展示一段連接詞用得很突出的段落。

**Look at all the signal language in this paragraph.**  
看看這段的所有連接詞。

**Firstly, for example, therefore, second, as a result, however, thus,**  
首先、例如、因此、第二、結果、然而、所以，

**Almost every sentence starts with one of these words or phrases.**  
幾乎每個句子都用到這些詞或片語開頭。

**There are so many they take your attention away from the ideas.**  
太多了，反而會分散讀者對內容的注意。

**Let's compare the two paragraphs.**  
讓我們比較這兩段。

**The candidate's paragraph on the right uses signal language only when necessary to link the ideas clearly, including more importantly, and however, and they only begin a sentence with a linking phrase once.**  
右側考生的段落只有在必要時才用連接詞，且只在一句開頭用一次。

**You can follow the ideas easily, but you don't notice the signal language.**  
你可以輕鬆理解內容，但不會特別注意到連接詞。

**Of course, you need to use some signal language in your writing to help the reader.**  
當然，你在寫作中需要用一些連接詞來幫助讀者理解。

**But if your ideas are logically organised, and your grammar is good, the reader will be able to follow your points.**  
但只要你的思路有條理、文法正確，讀者就能理解你的觀點。

**So only use signal language when really necessary and vary the position of the language in the sentences if you want to score a band nine.**  
所以，只有在必要時才用連接詞，並且變化它們在句中的位置，才能拿到九分。

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**00:10:07**  
Okay. We've reached the final paragraph.  
好，我們來到最後一段。

**In the conclusion, the candidate repeats the ideas from the body of the essay to summarise their points.**  
在結論中，考生重複正文的想法來總結。

**But they use completely different words.**  
但他們用完全不同的詞。

**For example, in the first sentence, the candidate repeats the reasons for shifting to a plant based diet.**  
例如，第一句重複了轉向植物性飲食的原因。

**A desire to be more compassionate towards other living creatures and less destructive of the environment.**  
希望對其他生物更有同情心，並減少對環境的破壞。

**This is very different from the language they used in the body paragraph.**  
這和正文中的用詞差很多。

**Many people feel they can no longer ethically justify eating meat and concern about climate change.**  
許多人覺得他們已經無法以道德為理由吃肉，並擔心氣候變遷。

**This variety helps them to fulfill the band nine descriptor for lexical resource.**  
這種變化有助於達到詞彙資源的九分標準。

**A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately.**  
使用了豐富且恰當的詞彙。

**It's really important for your lexical resource score that you vary your language.**  
在詞彙資源分數上，變換用詞非常重要。

**Don't use the exact same language from the prompt, and don't repeat the same words or phrases over and over again throughout your essay.**  
不要用與題目完全相同的詞，也不要一直重複用詞或短語。

**Be creative.**  
要有創意。

**Remember with practice band nine is possible.**  
記住，只要勤加練習，九分是可以達到的。

**Good luck.**  
祝你好運。

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