(Authors Note:Lyrics are in the /_/)
/Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are/
I�m looking at her. Straight in her eyes. Telling her the biggest mistake I did to our relationship. Sleeping with someone else. Images rush in my head. Of that girl under me. Of me on top of her. In my mind,I picture her as Jackie.
I know I am going to hurt her ,but I don�t stop.
I don�t realize it until it�s too late and I can�t take it back. Jackie deserves so much more...
/I had to find you, tell you I need ya,
And tell you I set you apart,
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions/
Jackie would confide in me, trust me, tell me her secrets. I know I�ve lost that trust. No longer will she come to me anymore to talk. Who is she going to go to now? To cry on? I pulled a Kelso, and I won�t be the one she cries too. I won�t be the one she runs and hugs. I won�t be the one who wipes the tears away. I won�t be the one telling her she�ll find someone better.
Instead... I�ll be the one she�ll cry about;
the one she runs away from;
the one that is being talked about.
I will be the Kelso.
/Oh lets go back to the start,
Running in circles, coming in tails,
Heads on a science apart/
I want to rewind the last couple of days. I want to do so many things differently. If only I had trusted Jackie. If I only I wasn�t self-conscious about Jackie and Kelso�s past. If only I had put my faith in her that she would never cheat on me...
Instead, she put that faith in me and guess what I did?
I cheated on her.
/Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part/
I�ve never felt this way before. It feels like I�ve been stabbed in the heart. It feels like I�m about to be sick. It feels like I�m in this haze and I can�t see straight. This isn�t going to be easy.
/Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start/
Dammit. I didn�t know I would love her as much as I do. But I do. I love her and only her. I never knew it would be this hard. I never knew we would have to breakup. I never thought I would screw this up. Dammit, I just want it all to go away. I never meant to hurt Jackie. I love her. I want to be with her, but now I can�t.
/I was just guessing at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart,
Questions of science, science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart/
I would disect our relationship to the core. On the surface,it didn�t make sense; me and her. It didn�t look right. But then...I looked beneath it, and it all made sense. It had been in the cards all along, me and her were bound to be together. I didn�t understand it,but I didn�t try to question it. I accepted it. My heart accepted it. I was in love with her, even if I didn�t say it...
/And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start,
Running in circles, chasing tails,
Coming back as we are/
Flashbacks run through my head. Junior Prom, her infactuation with me, buying that damn pot that got me in jail, punching out Chip for her, Our first kiss, Watching her and Kelso get back together, Being there for her when he fucked up and ran off, when we first got together, Donna and Eric catching us, Me not caring what they thought; what anyone thought for that matter, Announcing Jackie as my girlfriend, Her running into my arms after she found out about her dad, Shaving my beard off for her, �Get off my Boyfriend� fiasco....telling me she loved me...I want to go back there. To that very moment.
/Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part/
I don�t want to break up. But I know it�s going to happen. I can�t imagine being with anyone else and I know that I won�t be back in the dating scene for a while. All I want is Jackie. But I�m not what Jackie needs, I cheated on her, I am scum. I don�t deserve her...She deserves so much more.
/Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard/
I love her. No one said love was easy, but no one said it was hard. No one ever fucking told me and I wish they did so I could prepare for this. But I guess no one could prepare me for my own damn mistakes.
Looking into her eyes, I�m going to try. The words roll off my tongue. I tell her the words she has been wanting to hear...She stares at me in disbelief and tells me...
tells me she doesn�t love me.
My heart stops. I can�t breathe. It feels as if my life with her is flashing before my eyes and part of me has died.
No, I just can�t forget about this and move on. I want to start over. I want to go back to this summer. I want to do everything so differently. I want to go back and fix everything I did to make her upset. Dammit...I have to do something. I have too. Even if my head is telling me not too; stay zen. Screw that man because my heart is telling me to do something. What am I gonna choose?
/I'm going back to the start/