voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
the night is my companion, and solitude my guide
would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?/
Jackie wrapped her arms around her house. She was wandering aimlessly around Point Place. A few hours ago she had been in Donna�s room. A few hours ago Steven had come to talk to her. A few hours ago she had made a mistake that she regretted. A few hours ago she told the man she loved that she didn�t love him anymore.
Jackie sniffled and held back her tears. She didn�t want to cry anymore. She was tired of crying. Crying over Steven, Crying for herself, crying over the memories of Michael. It seemed like every man she had come to love betrayed her; Steven, Michael, and her own father. Would she ever find someone who wouldn�t hurt her? Would she find any satisfaction in Point Place?
/And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear/
Hyde sat in his car, in the deserted parking place of the Hub. He�d been driving for hours, ever since he left Donna�s house. He sat for a while in her room, waiting and hoping Jackie would walk through the door and say it wasn�t true,and that she loved him. But she didn�t. He heard the front door slam,and never open. Tears fell from his eyes, and he didn�t make an attempt to wipe them. He hadn�t allowed himself to cry yet. He came close to it at several times of the day. But not yet had he allowed the tears to fall, and the sobs to come. He didn�t mean for this to happen. He misunderstood. He made a mistake. A mistake he would never make again. He loved Jackie with all of his heart. She was the only one.
He knew she had cried. He knew he made her cry. And he couldn�t be there to hold her, to wipe those tears away. He wanted too. But she wouldn�t answer his calls. Or stop by the basement. He finally worked up the courage to go to her. And when he did,when he revealed his true feelings...it was too late. He wanted Jackie to forgive him. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted her to take him back.
/Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive/
So many times Jackie had been betrayed by the men she loved. It started with her father. The times he wasn�t there. The promises he made, but then soon broke. The nights he left after fights with her mom and she was convinced he�d never come back. The way he tried to smooth everything over with presents. And still, she missed him so much. But yet, he still wasn�t there.
And Michael. The countless times he cheated. The countless times he lied. The countless times he would say he�d change and never did. So many tears because of him. Then the realization that it wasn�t real love hit, which made the tears stop but still hurt her heart. Jackie thought she did love him, and that their love was real. But when he left, she was hit with the truth that is wasn�t real; that it was just pretend, it was all made-up to appear as if it was real. It was to feel a void that she wanted. The picture perfect love that wasn�t so perfect after all. It was all a lie.
And then there was Steven...her true love. Who hurt her the most. She knew he was the one who hurt her the most,even if it hadn�t been 24 hours. She never felt this way before, not with Michael, not even with her own father. Steven was there for her when those two weren�t. He was always there. He was the one who she trusted the most...but then to find out that he didn�t trust her, and that he thought an act of friendship was more which led him to cheat on her. One misunderstanding, One careless mistake led to the biggest heartache of her life. But how she still wanted him. How she wouldn�t kill to kiss him; to be in his arms. She wanted to hear his voice. How she wanted to forgive him and take back the words she said...she wanted to tell him she loved him still...
/And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear/
Hyde wiped the tears away and pulled out of the parking lot. He spotted a familiar figure roaming the sidewalk as he drove past. He quickly put on the breaks and got out. The figure came to a stop and turned around. He knew she knew it was him. Their eyes met, both full of tears, both puffy. They stood ,spaces between them. Each wondering who would make the first move. Jackie ached for his touch. Hyde ached for her taste. Both ached for each other.
�Hey.� He managed to say,his voice sounded hoarse and raspy. He took a step forward;She remained at her spot.
�Hi.� She said, her voice cracking. Tears began to spill over and splash on her cheeks. She could no longer stay strong in front of him. She managed to get out of the car before she cried. She managed to get out of the room before she cried. But now..her legs wouldn�t carry her. Now she let it all out in front of him.
He walked over to her and put his arms around her. He stroked her hair.
�I�m so sorry.� He repeated over and over.
/Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here
and I won't be denied/
They moved over to a nearby bench and sat. He wiped away the tears that remained on her cheeks. She moved her eyes and stared at him. He watched her, and without even realizing, began to caress her cheek. There hadn�t been a real conversation between the two. No one was willing to speak up. That soon wouldn�t be the case.
�Jackie. Did you mean it?�
Jackie focused on the scenery in front of her, instead of staring at him.
�No.� She whispered. She felt his finger go beneath her chin and turn her face to face his. She bit her lip, which was beginning to tremble.
�Don�t cry. I don�t want you to cry-�
�Too late. I already did.�
�Anymore. I was going to say anymore.�
�Oh.�
�What can I do to get you back?� He asked softly.
�It�s not like that, Steven. Look.� She gently removed his hand from her cheek and held it in her own, �I love you. And you love me. And I understand that you made a mistake. And I know that you would never do it again. But, what I don�t understand is why you didn�t come to me; why you didn�t talk to me...I would have told you what happened. And then you wouldn�t have...� Jackie�s voice trailed off.
�I know. I made a stupid mistake-�
�I know. And I know you're sorry.�
�Then what? What do you want. I swear...I�ll do any-�
�Trust me.� She stared him straight in the eyes, �I want you to trust me.�
Hyde didn�t know what to say.
�Look, I know you don�t trust anything. But you use to not love anything. And look, now you love me. If you learned to love me, why can�t you learn to trust me? If you can learn to love, you can learn to trust. Love and trust go together hand in hand. And..now that I think about it. If you don�t trust me, then maybe you don�t love me.�
�That�s not true. Jackie. I know I love you. Maybe it was you and Kelso that I didn�t trust. And not just you. Maybe I do trust you. But I don�t trust Kelso. I never have when it comes to you. I mean, look at you.�
Jackie blushed.
�Every guy wants you, Jackie. And I�m the guy who has- had, you. And I was protective and jealous. I had to be or I�d lose you to some guy, like Kelso.�
�No, Michael lost me to you. It would never be the other way around. Steven, if I didn�t want to be with you, I would have gone back to Michael. But I didn�t because I wanted to be with you. I wanted a relationship with you. You are the one I wanted. I love you, not Michael or any other guy you�re worried about.�
She gave his hand a squeeze.
�I trust you. And I swear, I will prove it to you.�
She put her hand on his cheek, �You just needed to say it to yourself for me to believe you.� She leaned in and lightly kissed his lips. She pulled back, �You don�t need to prove anything to me. Don�t you get it now? Because I love you, and trust you...I trust that you trust me.�
Hyde smirked, �Sounds like a riddle.�
Jackie laughed for the first time that day.
�But I get it.�
They smiled at each other, and leaned forward. Their lips met in a passionate kiss. A kiss that sealed the deal. They were back together.
/And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes./