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Interfaith Memorial Service
Frances D. Alleman-Luce
1924 � 2001


Mother, School Psychologist, Community Activist, Friend


Memorial Service for Frances D. Alleman-Luce
3:00 pm, Saturday, March 24, 2001
Madison Avenue Baptist Church
New York City


WELCOME: Susan Sparks

Psalm 23 -- Valley of Shadow of Death:  Reading by Waka Dannenhauer
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name�s sake.  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

FINAL GIFT:  Mathew Tendean-Luce

LETTERS: NAACP and Sisterhood of PEO

HYMN -- Holy, Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee; Holy, Holy, Holy! merciful and mighty! God in three Persons, blessed Trinity!

Holy, Holy, Holy! all the saints adore thee, Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea; Cherubim and seraphim falling down before thee, Which wert and art and evermore shalt be.

Holy, Holy, Holy! though the darkness hide thee, Though the eye of sinful man thy glory may not see, Only thou art holy, there is none beside thee Perfect in power, in love, and purity.
Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty! All thy works shall praise thy name in earth and sky and sea; Holy, Holy, Holy! merciful and mighty! God in three Persons, blessed Trinity.


CHRISTIAN PRAYER:
Jennifer Harvey
Great God of all mystery, if in the presence of death, our thoughts are startled, and or words flutter about like frightened birds, bring us stillness.  Give us grace to wait on you silently and with patience.  You are nearer to us than we know, closer than we can imagine.  Before we felt pain, you suffered it; Before sorrow darkened our hearts, you were grieved.  As we lift up our sacred memory, you transform it; As we gather to dream together, you dance through us.  Your spirit and song soothe us.  As you walk in every valley, be our good Shepard; And sustain us.while we walk with you.  Amen.

BUDDHIST PRAYER:
Richard Tom
The custom in Fran�s Anglican family is cremation.  In fact, her body will be laid to rest this summer in the Dudley Alleman Memorial Garden at St. John�s Episcopal Church in Hingham, Massachusetts, built by her own father.  By coincidence � perhaps � this is also the prevalent custom in Buddhism.  Indeed, the Buddha�s own body was cremated.  Often at funerals, Buddhists priests recite the adage that �Even the gorgeous royal chariots wear out; and indeed this body too wears out.  But the teaching of goodness does not age; and so Goodness makes that known to the good ones.�  We believed that towards death the dying see a brilliant light.  If the radiance of this Clear Light does not terrify them, and they can welcome it, then the person will not be reborn.  Although most flee from the Light, Jim tells me that Fran was not terrified, but rather calm and dignified up until the moment she died.  She may be reborn, of course, but there is also a chance that her cycles have ended.  However, her name and memory will live on in homes for orphans named after her in Indonesia, Haiti, and Guyana. 

It is a basic teaching of Buddhism that existence is suffering, whether birth, daily living, old age or dying.  However, Fran�s suffering has ended.  On the day of a Buddhist funeral, an orchestra is employed and every effort is made to banish sorrow, loneliness, and fear by means of music and fellowship.  At our funerals, it is quite common for the distribution of books and pamphlets setting forth Buddhist teachings.  Such books are not only a tribute to the dead but have practical value as well; today we have websites to pay tribute Following a Buddhist funeral, the family and all their friends give food to the monks.  Today, we will do the same for those friends and family gathered at our reception.  We Buddhists believe that goodwill is created by the gift of food, and that this goodwill helps the lingering spirit of the dead.  This celebration is for you, Fran.

Jewish Prayer - Mourner�s Kaddish in English and in Hebrew: Matthew Katz
Congregation: MAGNIFIED AND SANCTIFIED BE GOD�S GREAT NAME IN THE WORLD WHICH HE HAS CREATED ACCORDING TO HIS WILL. MAY HE ESTABLISH HIS KINGDOM SOON, IN OUR LIFETIME.  LET US SAY: AMEN.

Leader: Yit-gadal v�yit-kadash sh�mey raba, b�alma di v�ra hirutey, vyam-lih mal-hutey b�ha-yey-hon uv�yomey-hon uv�ha-yey d�hol beyt yisrael ba-agala u-vizman kariv, v�imru amen.  MAY HIS GREAT NAME BE PRAISED TO ALL ETERNITY.  HALLOWED AND HONORED, EXTOLLED AND EXALTED, ADORED AND ACCLAIMED BE THE NAME OF THE HOLY ONE, THOUGH HE IS ABOVE ALL THE PRAISES, HYMNS, AND SONGS OF ADORATION WHICH MEN CAN UTTER.  LET US SAY: AMEN.

Congregation: MAY GOD GRANT ABUNDANT PEACE AND LIFE TO US AND TO ALL ISRAEL.  LET US SAY: AMEN.

Leader: Y�hey sh�mey raba m�varah l�alam ul�almey alma-ya.  Yit-barah v�yish-tabah v�yit-pa-ar v�yit-romam v�yit-na-sey v�yit-hadar v�yit-aleh v�yit-halal sh�mey d�kud-sha, b�rih hu, leyla* min kol bir-hata v�shi-rata tush-b�hata v�ne-hemata da-amiran b�alma, v imru amen.  Y�hey sh�lama raba min sh�ma-ya, v�ha-yim aleynu v�al kol yisrael, vimru amen.  Oseh shalom bim-romav, hu ya-aseh shalom aleynu v�al kol yisrael, v�imru amen.  MAY HE WHO ORDAINS HARMONY IN THE UNIVERSE GRANT PEACE TO US AND TO ALL ISRAEL.  LET US SAY: AMEN.

HINDU PRAYER
Hindus generally cremate their dead.  The body of the departed is given a bath and dressed in fresh clothes.  Fragrant sandalwood paste is applied to the departed, which is then decorated with flowers and garlands, followed by a small amount of gold dust sprinkled on different parts of the head and face.  Jim tells me that Fran�s favorite perfume was �47-11� � and this was given to her just before she was cremated.  Our cremation ashes are later put in a holy river or sea.  Fran�s will be interred in the memorial garden built by her father in honor of his grandmother, Frances Alleman, for whom Fran was named.

MOSLEM PRAYER:
Mosud and Nuzhat Mannan
Two verses from the Holy Quran that at the grace of Almighty Allah we wish to read at the memorial day ceremony of our dear friend Frances Alleman-Luce.

THE DECLINING DAY (Surah 103; Revealed in Mecca)

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Merciful.  1. By the declining day,  2. Lo! man is in a state of loss,  3. Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth, exhort one another to endurance.

SMALL KINDNESSES (Surah 107; Revealed in Mecca)

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Merciful.  1. Hast thou observed him who belieth religion?  2. That is he who repelleth the orphan,  3. And urgeth not the feeding of the needy.  4. Ah, woe unto worshippers  5. Who are heedless of their prayers;  6. Who would be seen (at worship)  7. Yet refuse small kindnesses!


DANCE � �Celebration�:
Akiko Sasanuma, dance, Boni Raposo, percussionist

WORDS FROM THE FAMILY:
Molly Luce Larkin Arnold
Mom was a woman ahead of her time.  She believed strongly in equality - both between the races and the sexes and she was not afraid to express her beliefs.  In fact, she loved to debate these issues with her more conservative friends!  Mom was the Vice President of the NAACP in our small college town in Ohio and a proud charter subscriber to Gloria's Steinham's Ms. Magazine.  She also held liberal views on religion and sexuality.  She didn't argue with my older brother, Sandy, when he declared himself an atheist at the age of 13 and refused to go to church any longer.  And Mom was an out-spoken proponent of sex education as well as Planned Parenthood.

But Mom didn't only talk about social justice issues - she did something about them.  When she saw that poor women in our town needed a place to buy inexpensive clothing for their families, she organized the Thrift Shop with
members of our church donating the second-hand clothes.  Mom was also at the forefront of integrating the private elementary school that we all attended.  It was due to Mom's diplomacy and perseverance that I graduated from McGuffey Elementary School with two African-American friends in my class.

During my high school years, my mother was my best friend.  I respected her, trusted her and spent many happy hours talking with her about all my hopes and dreams.  The only time I remember being really upset with Mom was when
she would feel sorry for the other school's team when my high school basketball team would pulverize them by sometimes 50 points or more.  Mom always did root for the underdog!  My friends used to tell me how "cool" Mom was and I was really proud to have the most "with-it" Mom in town.

But after her kids grew up and left the nest, Mom started to depend more and more on alcohol to help her get through the lonely evenings.  Gradually, her addiction began to affect her relationships and her work as a school
psychologist but she was unable or unwilling to make any changes to her life-style.  I feel that I lost my mother to alcoholism 15 to 20 years ago. She really never got to know me as an adult or her wonderful grandchildren
because she was unable to let us into her life for fear of exposing her dark secret.  Ironically, we were all well aware of her problem with alcohol and dismayed by her inability to come to terms with it.

So, I will miss the mother of my youth and will certainly cherish the many happy memories of my childhood.  And we can all take comfort in the words of one of my friends, who wrote last week in her sympathy card, "Fortunately,
your mom raised four wonderful, caring kids who can stand by each other during this time of sadness."


HYMN -- We Shall Overcome
We shall overcome, We shall overcome, We shall overcome some day.  Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome some day.

We�ll walk hand in hand, We�ll walk hand in hand, We�ll walk hand in hand some day.  Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome some day.

We are not afraid, We are not afraid, We are not afraid some day.  Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome some day.

We are not alone, We are not alone, We are not alone some day.  Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome some day.

The whole wide world around, The whole wide world around, The whole wide world around some day.  Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome some day.

We shall overcome, We shall overcome, We shall overcome some day.  Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome some day.

WORDS FROM NEW FRIENDS:
Erin Feely-Nahem
I had the pleasure of meeting Fran at Jim�s first Kaffee Klatch gathering, where as the President of our school�s PTA, I was to be one of the guest speakers. I was nervous, and apprehensive that afternoon, until I met Fran and we began to talk.  Jim had spoken to me about his mom�s visit, and I knew that due to her failing health Jim had asked her to come down to New York and stay with him for awhile.

I can still remember as I entered the livingroom, Fran was seated in an arm chair in front of the window. There was something majestic in her presence, something that commanded your attention.  She was lovely and bright, and connected to the world around her.  When we began to speak I felt comfortable with her immediately and found that we shared much in common. We spoke about our different experiences that we had had working in the school system, mine in the capacity of PTA president, hers as a school psychologist. At one point in the conversation we laughed and I realized that I was no longer nervous. 

Following that initial meeting, every time I came to Jim�s home, I would find Fran, whom later I  began to call �Mom� seated in front of the window. Even now when I think about her, I see her sitting in that arm chair, a central part of my every visit.  She was an intelligent, beautiful women who was filled with life, up to her dying day.  When I look at her son Jim, I see her hard work, her values, and her kindness.  He is a tribute to her love and her wisdom and through him, as well as through all the other people whom she has touched, her beauty and memory will live on.


PASSING THE PEACE

REFLECTIONS ON LIFE:
Michael B. Easterling

PROCLAMATIONS:
Byron Gaspard and Nneka Pope

ALLEMAN-LUCE ORPHANS FUND:
Jim Luce
II wrote my remarks today while sitting on the edge of a hospital bed, Mom beside me, and brother Rick on the phone from Austin�  Rick today is in his last few days, we believe � please keep him in your thoughts and prayers...

Many of you have flown in from around the country.  All of you have taken the time to be here today.  It�s ironic that perhaps we sometimes give the dead more attention than the living.  Let us use this time to reflect on the critical importance of remembering the living.  Inviting your neighbor to dinner.  Calling your distant cousin.  Writing an old friend.  Saying �hello� to a stranger.  Telling your dad you love him...

But let us also use this time for remembering the dead.  And letting their death provide the impetus to serve the living.  This is what my mother wanted, and this is what the Frances D. Alleman-Luce Memorial Orphans Fund of the Madison Avenue Baptist Church will do...

My mother taught me � by words and deeds � to stand up for the oppressed, fight against injustice, and believe in both myself, and the inherent goodness of humanity.  I remember walking the picket line with my Mom at the age of ten, protesting on behalf of the United Farm Workers.  I remember being taken out of school for civil rights marches. //
My most vivid childhood memory of my mother was hearing her anguished cry when she learned that Dr. Martin Luther King had been shot.  Because of my mother, I have developed an interest in helping children around the world � children who are the �underdogs� � victims of poverty, disease, and conflict.

My mother exhibited her love for these children in two very real ways in her last year:
she made a generous contribution to this church for our work with children � particularly in Haiti, and secondly, she very carefully proofread and provided valuable feedback for the 250-page Initial Report of ORPHANS INTERNATIONAL.  In her memory, we have instituted the Alleman-Luce Memorial Orphans� Fund of MABC to assist these children.

I wrote the Mission Statement for ORPHANS INTERNATIONAL, and I believe my mother�s voice resonates loudly within it:  �To be Interfaith, Interracial, International, Intergenerational, and today, of course, to be Internet-connected:

     INTERFAITH.  Because there are many paths up the mountain;
     INTERRACIAL.  Because there is but one race � the human race;
     INTERNATIONAL.  Because our neighbors are our family;
     INTERGENERATIONAL.  Because we have much to learn from our elders, and finally,
     INTERNET-CONNECTED.  Because the world today is at our fingertips.

With your help � and in my mother�s honor � we will be able to provide hope to children who simply have no hope.  And to provide them with the words and deeds they need, as my mother provided to me � to stand up themselves for the oppressed, fight against injustice, and believe in both themselves, and the inherent goodness of humanity.  I miss you, Mom.


HYMN -- We Are The World
(� �We Are the World.�  USA for Africa;1985)
There comes a time when we heed a certain call.  When the world must come together as one.  There are people dying.  Oh, and it�s time to lend a hand, to life, the greatest gift of all.  We can�t go on pretending day by day, that someone, somewhere will soon make a change.  We are all a part of God�s great big family.  And the truth � you know love is all we need.

We are the world, we are the children.  We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let�s start giving.  There�s a choice we�re making.  We�re saving our own lives.  It�s true we�ll make a better day.  Just you and me.

Well, send �em your heart.  So they know that someone cares.  And their lives will be stronger and free.  As God has shown us, by turning stone to bread.  And so we all must lend a helping hand. 

Refrain

When you�re down and out.  There seems no hope at all.  But if you just believe, there�s no way we can fall.  Well, well, well, let�s realize.  That one change can only come.  When we stand together as one.

Refrain


HYMN -- Joyful, Joyful

Joyful, joyful we adore thee, God of glory, Lord of love; Hearts unfold like flowers before thee, Opening to the sun above.  Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; Drive the dark of doubt away; Giver of immortal gladness, Fill us with the light of day!

All thy works with joy surround thee, Earth and heav�n reflect thy rays, Stars and angels sing around thee, Center of unbroken praise; Field and forest, vale and mountain, Flowery meadow, flashing sea, Chanting bird and flowing fountain, Call us to rejoice in thee.

CLOSING WORDS: Michael B. Easterling


Reception Celebration to follow in Lorimer Hall, Sixth Floor


Special thanks to Peggy Harris, Stan Luce, Jeff Tendean, and Mike Easterling, who ministered to Fran in body and spirit in her final days.  Thanks to Jeri Easterling who coordinated the floral arrangements, and Faith Grill who coordinated the reception on behalf of the MABC Advisory Council.  Further thanks to all of the family and friends who helped create this special moment in our lives.
May we each feel the ties that bind us here and strive to keep them from unraveling in the months and years that follow.

The MABC Quartet includes Renee Jarvis (soprano), Susan Titone (alto), Robert A. Carpenter (tenor), and Richard Herron (bass).  Special musical performers include Richard Titone (trumpet) and Boni Raposo (percussion).  Music led by Mathew Cvetic, organist and MABC Music Director.

Today�s ushers include: Head Usher, Ilse Freund, with Beverly Carolus, Molly Chan,* Sarah Goodson,* Dwayne Land,
Michael Magnus, Joel Prodon, Peter Powers* and Eugene Respicio.
(*signifies back-up ushers.)

THE MADISON AVENUE BAPTIST CHURCH

Jesus gave us the supreme example of inclusiveness; in our human way, we attempt to follow.  Historically our church has been an inclusive church, theologically consistent with our heritage and the cherished Baptist principle of �soul freedom� � reserving the right to differ in our beliefs about God, biblical interpretation and Christian doctrine.  All are welcome; join us!  Website:
http://madavebap.beliefnet.com/

THE FRANCES D. ALLEMAN-LUCE MEMORIAL ORPHANS FUND

Contributions to the Frances D. Alleman-Luce Memorial Orphans Fund may be mailed to the Madison Avenue Baptist Church, 30 East 31st Street, New York, N.Y.  10016.  Checks should be made out "MABC", earmarked for the  �Alleman-Luce Orphans Fund.�   Please call the church office at (212) 685-1377 if you need further information.
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