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FALLEN IDOL

I took in every word he spoke
Like jewels from a distant land
He seemed to know just eveything
I thought "God he's been around"

He'd tell me all about the world
He'd show me what to do
I believed in everything he did
He was my father just like yours

He'd tell me of his army pals
I thought this man was great
But then he shatered all my trust
My love slowly turned to hate

When you've worshiped someone all your life
Then they really let you down
Your mind just can't get round it
It spins round and round and round

You start to question everything
Every single word
I mean If he hurt me by abusing me
then what else has he done wrong?

THis man was my father
I'd copy everything he'd do
But after he had raped me
I thought "I thought, I don't want to be like you"

For years I never trusted men
I'd never take advice
I trusted no-one else but me
I let no-one in my head

I started hating every word
Every breath he'd take
"Because of you, you bastard"
"I don't know if I'm gay or straight"

I started to despise myself
For being just like him
But he's the one who did me wrong
I was only nine or ten

But now I've come to look at things
In a very different light
I now see even though he's wrong
He could also still be right

A lot of things he taught me
Weren't really bad
Like flying kites and riding bikes
And fishing with the lads

The reason I am writing this
Is I feel as if I must
Don't let one aspect of your life
turn all the rest to dust
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AVERAGE

From The first day I remember
My clothes were second hand
My shoes were from the ragstore
And my coat was from the pawn

Even when I had my hair cut
It was by the man downstairs
It didn't really matter much
Thats just the way things were

But then I started noticing
It wasn't the way things were
When I looked around I noticed
My pals had barbers do their hair

Then I started seeing
That thier clothes were a bit more flash
When I asked my mum about it
She sais "You'll wear what's put on your back"

All the familys in our street
had fathers on the dole
But they always seemed to manage
To get thier kids decent clothes

All the clothes that I had
Were one or two pounds less
Not to cheap to complain about
But enough to feel a mess

I felt I was an underdog
and i felt really cheap
Other kids would tell me
"Through yourself on the garbage heap"

This was really hurtful
So I asked my mum to help
I asked her to buy decent clothes
Like everybody else

She turned and laughed into my face
She said "Buy new clothes for you"
"When you've had clothes on just one day"
"You can flush them down the loo"

This wasn't just a single time
That she had put me down
She just loved to embaress me
In front of half the town

She made me feel quite greedy
She said "Ungrateful swine"
So in time I felt like something less
That nothing good was mine

This all seems quite trivial
but over a long long tim
It really gets into your head
and starts to wear you down

It makes you feel you're second rate
It makes you feel alone
It makes you stand outside life's gate
And it makes you cower down

Maybe I should tell you
If you think I'm whining on
My mother was worth megabucks
Left by her uncle John

To this very day I feel let down
I still feel second best
I didn't want rich flashy clothes
I only wanted to be like the rest
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