page_eight

SNAKE

I remember in my childhood days
There came aman whith evil ways
They thought he was beautiful
They thought he was kind
But I knew this man had evil in mind

In the dark of the night.When the house was still
I'd lay there waiting, Waiting until
I'd hear the footsteps, I'd hear the lock
It happened countless times
And every time was a shock

Itwas so nice, The caresses and care
But my soul inside was laid torn and bare
I loved this man that I hated so much
His loving caresses,his sickening touch
I knew in the night he would come to me
And I also knew that his love wasn't free

This loving man had turned into a snake
My life he would ruin, my spirit he'd break
I don't know how it got turned around
But I feel the guilt, he's dead in the ground

Sometimes it's heaven
Sometimes it's hell
Somedays I'm OK
Somedays I'm unwell

One thing's for certain
On this you can bet
His type spread anger, misery and hate

The anger is firey
The hatred is hot
But to end up like that man
That's one thing I will not
________________________________________

STOP

Bells ringing,
Doors buzzing
Nerves jangling
Stomach churning
Phones ringing
Heads exploding
Where the fuck is all this going
Can't sit down
Can't stand up
Can't settle down
When your mind speeds up
The night's the worst
When you're all alone
Let the door buzz
Please ring the phone
You hate the silence
But you can't stand the noise
I love the children but
I can't stand their toys
Clicking and clacking
Guns for the boys
The girls are no better
With their whining dolls
Gossoping wives
Slagging thier neighbours
Spreading thier lies
With tongues like razors
I wish they'd keep quiet
I wish they'd shut up
I just want some peace
Is that asking too much
_______________________________________

THE PRICE OF A PINT

I woke up in the morning, the mirror was smashed
The table turned over, mums arm was gashed
It wasn't unusual to wake up to this
To my dad in the corner lying in piss

As I passed him he said "Is there any more drink"
I stepped over the vomit and went to the sink
He hissed " Did you hear me? is there any more wine"
He said "You think I'm pissed" I said "No you look fine"

I learned this answer from many times before
If I'd said anything else I'd get punched through a door
He was really helpful when he got in a mood
He'd throw me a towel to clean up mums blood

I hated this bastard with all of my soul
I just wished he'd slither back into a hole
Even to think this would cause real fear
I could not even speak in case he coul hear

Shouting his orders it's all ME, ME, ME.
I hoped he'd get cancer then we'd all be set free
He didn't get cancer he just carried on
Drinking and fighting, then one day he was gone

I couldn't believe it my wish had come true
I was over the moon, I felt great, wouldn't you
But my days of good feeling didn't last long
When the guilt of his death, came creeping along

I really felt bad for wishing him dead
I just couldn't get him out of my head
I thought when he died, the pain would all end
Now it just haunts me, like he's round every bend

The confussion was endless, the pain was so great
I was just like my dad, sinking into self hate
He wouldn't defeat me, I knew this for sure
Unlike him, I've the courage to clean out this sore

This sore was like cancer eating my mind
Destroying all light till the hate had me blind
I knew it was time to turn my life round
I needed to stop and stand firmon my ground

To fight self hatred is a long hard road
And you need someone with you to lighten the road
Some people I spoke to were so glad to help
They sat and they listened, they felt as I wept

They gave me direction as to where I should go
To the root of the problem, that only I know
I asked and I searched and I looked everywhere
But the answers I got came from inside somewhere

My life is begining, the battles have gone
Because those inner answers, have made me feel one
I know I'm not perfect and I never will be
But it feels so fantastic, just to be me
__________________________________________