910 – The Final Sacrifice (aka Quest for the Lost City)
ééééé
Things I liked in the movie:
Two words: Zap. Rowsdower.
Troy’s sense of fashion.
The bad guys’ sense of fashion.
Impressions
This is a great episode. The riffs seem funny and dense. There’s a running theme that the wilting and pasty lead character, Troy McGreggor, has a thing for the manly, if somewhat disgusting, Zap Rowsdower (perhaps the greatest hero name ever!), and this leads to some pretty funny riffing. Rowsdower looks like a homeless trailer park reject but he seems to know everything and has unlimited patience for his dorky sidekick. The bad guys are fierce and evil, but it’s hard to tell why. It’s tacky, complicated, and goofy. And Mike and the ‘Bots just get into a great rhythm. Rowsdower has been compared to Joe Don Baker’s Mitchell in several reviews and that makes him even funnier. And of course, the whole Canadian thing adds another dimension. Without the riffing, though, this is a very lame movie.
Synopsis
A very nerdy boy, Troy, finds a map to a lost city. He wears cardigans, talks in a high voice, and spends his spare time going through papers. You know he’s pining for a Playstation, except they didn’t exist then. Unbeknownst to him, an evil cult killed his father and the map was the reason. The cult members somehow detect that he has the map and come to get it. A little like the Nazgul in the Lord of the Rings (if the Nazgul wore black tank tops and ski masks), they seem to be able to sense the map and follow him around. As he’s running away, he ends up getting a ride with a Canadian slob named Zap Rowsdower. Rowsdower decides to help him, seemingly having nothing better to do than play with effeminate teenaged boys. They follow the map, which leads to a cave containing a special idol that the cult is seeking. To help resolve the mystery of the cult, they talk to a strange bearded guy who lives in the forest. Wait a second! Rowsdower used to belong to the cult! (Come to think of it, he would fit right in.) He also might have killed the kid’s dad. No problem, they defeat the bad guys and save the world. Well, sort of, since it’s hard to believe a cult this stupid could take over anything, much less the world.
Host Segments (from MST3K info)
Opening: Gypsy shuts the power down and in spite of Mike’s order, Crow and Tom go looting. Crow steals his own TV and Tom throws a mannequin through Mike’s window and steals his trash.
Intro: Pearl decides to rule the world one person at a time. She starts with some guy named Todd who doesn’t cooperate. Next on the list alphabetically? Tom Servo! Tom says no one rules the Tom-monster.
Host segment 1: Mike and Crow are Canada bashing. Tom defends Canada for a while, then sings a way over-the-top anti-Canada song that scares the other two.
Host segment 2: Everybody contracts Hockey Hair except Mike because he had it already when he was younger.
Host segment 3: Mike comes down with a case of Grizzled Old Prospector Syndrome and says “consarndit” and “dagnabbit.” He never kissed a prospector, but there was a surly truck farmer. He was a “durn fine kisser.”
End: The bots have formed a cult where they eat muffins and watch Ally McBeal. Pearl has almost gained control over Carl, but he is taken by the Travellers’ Group.
Stinger: Troy saying "Rowsdower?"
Funny Riffs
Hooray, the movie's closed today because of snow!
The bad guys look like wrestlers:
Riff: Nobody leaves the World Wrestling Federation.
Servo: Oh, come on, one more sacrifice before we go?
Mike: Okay, but this is the FINAL sacrifice.
Troy is geeky:
Riff: I can't wait till they start the internet.
Riff: I'm glad I don't have any friends, 'cause then I wouldn't be able to do this.
Riff: So, we're just watching someone fritter away their afternoon here?
Riff: Waaaiiitt... I haven't read Tolkien in almost a week!
Riff: Mike, is there any way I could jump in the movie and dump this kid's books?
Riff: My glee club will be looking for me.
Riff: And so it is with a heavy heart that I must resign from chess club.
Riff: This is just like when they bury me every week at school and give me pink belly and hang me from the goal post and shave my head and magic marker my weenie and stuff me in my locker.
The bad guys look like they’re wearing executioner costumes.
Riff: You know it's spring when the executioners start getting in the house.
Troy evades them on his bike and they can’t catch him in their truck.
Riff: Damn! He's got a ten speed.
Riff: Get on the banana seat bike and give chase!
Riff: Oh, no, they've got a Chevy; they're so dependable!
Riff: If you hit a Rowsdower, you get to keep it.
The old guy looks like Yosemite Sam:
Riff: If it's any consolation, I hates that rabbit, too.
Crow: So, Mike, most humans, when you shoot them in the butt, they burst into flames?
Mike: Well, I don't know...
Crow: Can we try it? Turn around.