909 – Gorgo
ééé
Things I liked in the movie:
The name “Dorkin.”
Tender, giant-lizard love.
Impressions
Gorgo (1961) is the British version of Godzilla (1954). Gorgo is actually rated 5.3 stars on IMDB. I think they picked it because it’s a campy Godzilla-like movie and not necessarily because of its actual badness. I like how on the movie poster it says, “Like nothing you’ve ever seen before!” You might think it’s like Godzilla, but you shouldn’t rule out other things you’ve seen before. It’s also like King Kong (1933). Except when Gorgo favors a kid and protects him, which is like Gamera (1965 – admittedly after Gorgo). It’s also like Mighty Joe Young (1949) when Gorgo is exhibited in an amusement park. Perhaps the posters are making the assumption you haven’t already seen any of these movies before you see Gorgo.
The vast majority of the riffs are making fun of British politeness and optimism. There’s a running theme of “dorkin” jokes after a circus owner proudly displays his name, Dorkin, all over the circus (e.g. “Everybody’s dorkin!”). These may strike you funny or they may not. Overall, this episode is fine.
Synopsis
A boat is forced to land at a small island due to a mechanical problem. When the crew goes ashore, the man in charge tells them to leave, but they hang around. Eventually they discover a baby Godzilla and name it Gorgo. They take the baby to London and exhibit him in the Dorkin amusement park. The mother Godzilla comes to get her baby and in the process gratuitously wreaks havoc and destroys half of London, taking special care to destroy all the recognizable landmarks. The Navy and Army try to stop her with increasingly more powerful weapons, but mommy Godzilla just does whatever she wants. Finally, she rescues her baby and takes him home. A news reporter makes a speech about how man can’t tame nature, how a mother’s love is powerful, etc.
Host Segments
Prologue: Crow has a Spix’s Macaw nest in his head. He says he doesn’t pay that much attention to what goes on on his head. Brain Guy and Bobo are arm wresting. Pearl is gone but she visits via satellite link. She’s in LA with Leonard Maltin from Entertainment Tonight to help her pick the movie. He picks Gorgo, which he says isn’t that bad. It’s the British Godzilla.
Second: The ‘Bots put on a tragic comedy, “Waiting for Gorgo.” Tom and Crow speak in British accents. “Gorgo” shows up and throws Tom and Crow off the stage. The audience applauds wildly for a long time. Mike and the ‘Bots do a few bows.
Third: Mike and the ‘Bots play the William Sylvester version of Trivial Pursuit. He is the star of Gorgo, and was in Riding With Death, Devil Doll, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. The ‘Bots concede because they don’t want to play. Mike celebrates his victory.
Fourth: The Nanites put on a circus. It’s 25 cents. Mike tosses in a quarter as payment. Due to an error in scale, it’s a disaster. The quarter kills the Nanite clown and destroys the circus.
Final: Crow and Tom got an advance from the mob to make a calendar of hunks and babes of the movie Gorgo. They are worried because they can’t find any women in the movie to speak of. Mike shows them a few women hidden in the deep shadows for a moment here and there. Pearl and Leonard Maltin can’t figure out why Gorgo didn’t hurt them. They try to come up with a worse movie and peddle Maltin’s new book.
Stinger: A fisherman in a boat shouting something in Gaelic(?).
Funny Riffs
The title screen shows “Gorgo”
Mike: The Vice President’s unimaginative campaign slogan!
Credits show Tom Howard
Tom Servo: The lost stooge!
Some fisherman spear Godzilla. He stands up and is obviously gigantic.
Mike as Godzilla: Ow.
Gorgo/Godzilla walks rubberily towards an Irish village.
Mike: McRoar! O’Growl!
Tom: Sorry, I’m a little lost. Can you tell me how to get to Tokyo?
The Irish people are yelling at a building.
Tom: Open the pub! It’s 9:00 AM!
The boat crew is ordering the harbormaster around.
Crow: Man, I’m the harbormaster. I don’t have to listen to you guys. I can go master the harbor any time I want. This is so bogus.
The camera shows some men with hats.
Crow: Men Not Without Hats.
Gorgo is being delivered to the amusement park.
Tom: They have to clean up after Mighty Joe Young first.
A caravan of buses passes, about 20 feet apart.
Crow: Wow! Buses really run frequently here in London.
Mike: Come see Gorgo, he’ll kill your family! Come get killed by Gorgo!
Mike: Now is this
the mom or the dad?
Crow: I don’t know. How do you sex one of these things?
Tom: Well, you put the lights down low, put on some Barry White . . .
Crow: Hi. I’m Gorgo. But I’m not Mormo of the thousand-faced moon.
Gorgo is destroying and killing everyone.
Mike: People are running around saying, “This simply isn’t done. You’ll be hearing from my solicitor.”