905 – The Deadly Bees
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Things I liked in the movie:
The dog’s meat.
The happy British guy at the end.
Impressions
As Mike put it so perfectly, “The true story of the sex and murder behind the making of your breakfast honey.” He forgot to add boring. I thought this episode wasn’t very funny but my kids saw me watching it and said, “Deadly Bees! Isn’t this the one where they throw the Brain Guys’ brains across the room and they turn stupid?” Sure enough, the final host segment is quite funny. The happy music from the movie plays and a British guy walks through the SOL and Pearl’s castle and tips his hat. The visiting observers lose their brains and become Packers fans.
That rescued this from 2 stars to 3.
A beekeeper keeps him some bees. He has developed some killer bees and applied for some sort of patent or grant. In his most recent letter to a generic government office, he says if the government doesn’t take him seriously, he’ll kill someone.
In other news, a singer named Vicky Robbins poorly lip-syncs a bad song before passing out from heat stroke due to her huge fur coat. Her doctor misdiagnoses exhaustion and sends her for a convalescence to killer bee island. Meanwhile, on the island, the handsome, albeit uber-crabby owner of a bed and breakfast, Mr. Hargrove, and his horrible, horrible wife spend some quality time hating each other. Mr. Hargrove decides to get a girl from town to help out and Mrs. Hargrove is sarcastically jealous. I think that’s supposed to set up the tension between the characters. Vicky shows up and has a good time at first, walking the dog, eating, etc.
During a dog walk, Vicky happens upon the British guy who used to live next to The Jeffersons. His name is Manfred. Hargrove warns her to stay away from Manfred but she is friendly with him anyway. Manfred shows her his secret stash of bees that he keeps in his study.
Later, Vicky discovers Mr. Hargrove extracting blood from his horse in a secretive manner. She sneaks into the barn to investigate and discovers many hypodermic needle wounds. The Hargroves’ dog eats something out of a bucket and this causes the bees to kill him. Vicky determines that Hargrove has been doing some experiments on bees and the horse’s blood is involved in some way. Bees 1, Victims 0.
In retaliation for the loss of the family dog, Mrs. Hargrove lights the barn on fire in hopes of killing the bees. Mr. Hargrove intervenes and puts out the fire. Later, the bees kill Mrs. Hargrove, too. Bees 2, Victims 0. Vicky goes to Manfred’s house in hopes of getting some help against Mr. Hargrove. Manfred tells Vicky that he has developed some bee defense systems. He suggests that Hargrove is making the bees aggressive and is purposely causing them to attack. He asks Vicky to spy on Hargrove to see if they can figure out what he’s doing to the bees. Vicky investigates and Hargrove discovers that she is doing so. She is attacked by bees but manages to ward them off by lighting a towel on fire. Bees 2, Victims 1. She passes out due to the smoke and dreams of bees. When she wakes up, she steals Hargrove’s jeep and tries to escape. Hargrove chases her. She crashes. Hargrove takes her back to his house.
Vicky moves out of Hargrove’s house and moves into Manfred’s house. Hargrove seems crabby about it. The neighbor goes to Hargrove to borrow a book he already owns. This means something. The neighbor is the killer! In a normal movie, Vicky would use her beauty and charm to seduce him and escape, but instead, she acts furtive and terrified of him. This forces Manfred’s hand. He monologues for a bit about how he killed everyone while trying to kill Hargrove and now he’s going to kill her, too. During the monologue, bees attack Hargrove and the local bartender. Hargrove saves the bartender and sprays the bees. Bees 2, Victims 2.
Just as Manfred is about to spray Vicky with the bee attractant, she throws a vase at him and he spills it on himself instead. The bees kill Manfred while Vicky lights the house on fire. Hargrove and the local bartender show up and break in and rescue her from the fire. Bees 3, Victims 2.
As sort of the icing on cake, some weird super-happy music starts playing and a British guy in a long coat and derby shows up and tips his hat. Bees 3, Victims 2, Movie 0.
Opening: Mike and the ‘Bots act out a trailer for some over the top drama. Down on Earth, Bobo and Brain Guy are enjoying some guy time. Two other observers show up. Brain Guy tries to impress them with his powers and causes a tie to appear on Mike. The other Observers want Brain Guy to go with them to join them in their revenge. Pearl is offended.
Host segment 1: Crow is in love with the fair lady Hargrove. Mike asks, “The cigarette hag?” Crow writes a Shakespearean poem about her. It’s pretty sick.
Host segment 2: Tom Servo has taken up raising wood tics. Crow is raising lice. Brain Guy is leaving. Pearl and Bobo try to stop him by singing. He decides to stay. Mike spills the bugs.
Host segment 3: Mike has decided to become a bee. He communicates with movement and odor. Crow is worried about his Just for Men hair coloring.
End: Mike and the ‘Bots talk about the bees and film. The weird happy music from the end of the movie plays and the hat guy walks by. On the ground, the Brain Guy and the other observers are trying to overpower each other. Bobo distracts them with chili dogs and takes their brains away. Without their brains, they’ll be forced to become Packers fans. The music from the end of the movie happens again and the British guy walks by.
Stinger: Mrs. Hargrove asks the housekeeper if she’s seen the dog’s meat.
During the credits
Mike: That’s the Heehaw font. How could it be deadly?
Bees are flying around on the screen.
Crow: There’s a bug bomb in the hive, so they gotta stay out for a couple hours.
The lady singer passes out, but the singing continues:
Tom: She still lip syncs better than Jewel.
Mrs. Hargrove: The dog’s meat. Have you seen it?
Tom Servo: (shocked) Wow!
Girl: No. It’s in the larder I think. Would you like me to go and look?
Mrs. Hargrove: No. I’ll go. She’ll only take it from me, anyway.
Crow: The filthiest conversation ever!
Later:
Mike as Mr. Hargrove: Suppose you’ve heard about the dog’s meat?
Later as a boat cruises toward the island:
Crow: Kathy Lee Gifford arrives to see the dog’s meat.
We look a the weather-worn, chain-smoking Mrs. Hargrove:
Crow as Mrs. H: Why didn’t I marry a cigarette?
Mr. Hargrove to Vicky: It’s dangerous to involve yourself in matters you don’t understand.
Mike as Vicky: What would I ever do then?
35 minutes into the movie, some bees are swarming.
Crow as a bee: Come on guys! We’re supposed to be deadly! We haven’t done squat!
Mike: The true story of the sex and murder behind the making of your breakfast honey.
Bees are swarming.
Mike: Honey bunches of DEATH!
Crow: Mike, I’m going to watch your shoes for a while. It makes about as much sense.
During a flashback.
Crow: The flashback is as long as the movie should have been.
Neighbor: I have to kill you.
Tom Servo: Why didn’t you just say so instead of boring her?!
Crow as Vicky: Look, it’s ok. Go ahead and kill me. Stop talking.
Tom: So what do you think the message of the movie was?
Crow: Don’t watch it.