903 – The Pumaman (L’ Uomo Puma)
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Things I liked in the movie:
Aztec search methods.
The awkward flying power of the puma.
Donald Pleasance in leather.
Impressions
Downright hilarious! The movie itself is dangerously non-serious. It feels a little like Greatest American Hero in that the main character is a doofus and the music is light and funny. You never get the sense that the movie is 100% serious, but that somehow doesn’t steal from the riffing, which is dense, funny, and terrific in this episode. The flying is ridiculous. He flies with his butt up in the air and his hands and feet dangling as if he’s suspended by a cable around his waist. His “fighting” style is merely trampolining around while other people fight. The bad guy, Donald Pleasance, has high ambitions – take over the world. Yet he spends a lot of time mind controlling this girl and attempting to control the Pumaman for reasons no one knows. The magical powers of the puma are: jumping pretty high, flying awkwardly, walking through walls, and playing dead. They are not: being at or near normal intelligence.
Synopsis
After a series of gruesome murders in which people are thrown to their deaths from high windows, a lab assistant at a college is thrown out an upper story window by a Schwartzeneggarian Aztec priest named Vadinho. Because said lab assistant is annoying, this seems normal enough. But surprisingly, he is unharmed by the fall, which the priest asserts is a sign that he’s the legendary Pumaman. You might think the murders were necessary collateral damage required to save the world, but then Vadinho points out, “I did not have to kill to find you.” (Crow – I kill for fun!)
Our hero is reluctant. He’s not sure he believes it. However, he’s always known he’s special because he has always had this tendency to blink and look around. He says “I get this way when I sense danger.”
Vadinho tells the Pumaman to wear a belt that will give him the magical powers of the puma. He puts it on and voila! He can fly goofily!
Unbeknownst to him, there’s a bad guy, Kobras, with a magical Aztec mask. Kobras is planning to take over the world by controlling the minds of the major world leaders. But the mask says right on the warning label that if you use it, you’ll be destroyed by the Pumaman. So Kobras must find and kill the Pumaman before the Pumaman gets him. To do this, he employs a young lady to lure our hero to a place where Kobras can capture him. This results in the Pumaman being sucked into the plot.
Vadinho somehow attracts the attention of Kobras and gets attacked by his incompetent henchmen. He fights them off pretty well, but to make Pumaman feel good, he says he needs his help. Pumaman then jumps around for a while, hoping to make the henchmen laugh, maybe? In the end, Vadinho beats them all up and he and Pumaman escape.
The hero and the Pumaman follow the bad guy to his European castle and break up the plot. Vadinho manages to keep the pathetic excuse for a Pumaman alive in spite of his own self-destructive behavior. This catches the notice of the aliens who brought the magical mask to Earth in the first place and they come back to Earth to give him an attaboy. The Pumaman then proceeds to boink the girl in mid-air.
Host Segments
Servo has short
man's disease and asserts his masculinity by riding a Hawg, putting lifts in
his hoverskirt, and talking tough. Mike
feeds him a baby aspirin and it passes.
Pearl is throwing a
party. No one comes. Brain Guy has some people over to watch TV
and gets like 5 guests, so she’s envious.
Pearl wants Mike and the 'bots to mingle among themselves, but the only
one to get into it is Tom.
Mike goes for the
"dry look" and his head gets really dry. His head is shaved and cacti are growing on
it.
Tom and Crow make Mike become "Coatimundi Man." They ramble on for a while about the powers
of the Coatimundi.
Tom and Crow make a
replica of Roger Whitaker's head and control him. ( This is in imitation of Donald Pleasance’s replica heads in the
movie). Mike doesn't know what they can
do with him. The bots can’t believe
it. “Mike, this is Roger Whitaker!”
After the movie,
Crow resigns and acts arrogant, but almost immediately returns as a consultant
for less pay and no benefits. Kevin
Murphy who looks like Roger Whitaker sings to Pearl.
Some Good Riffs
Vadinho breaks into his hotel room and tells him to try on a belt.
Servo: I hate it when Aztecs force themselves into your hotel room and make you try on belts.
Pumaman goes to a party, where he discovers the plot by Kobras. Kobras’ men try to capture him and he escapes onto the roof. Vadinho appears on the ground, throws the belt up onto the roof and yells, “Put it on!”
Crow: The world’s most persistent belt salesman!
Riff: I’m going to tell my boss I’m the Pumaman. Maybe he’ll give me the day off.
Crow: This always happens to me. People throw me out the window, tell me I’m the Pumaman, and leave.
Henchmen are waiting for the Pumaman to show up. When he does, they fire at him.
Riff: I sense danger.
The Pumaman is stuck on the roof with nowhere to go. He walks back and forth looking for a way of escape.
Riff: Meow. Meow.
He’s flying around like an idiot.
Mike: They’re gonna find his little black box and all they’ll hear is whoaoooaaawwww! (Jerry Lewis style goofy sound)
The moronic Pumaman is playing dead. The henchmen are ordered to kill him, but when they discover that he’s already “dead” they decide to just leave him lying there. Instead of making sure by shooting him a few times, they check his pulse and breathing, stare suspiciously at him for a minute or two, and then walk away. He can’t wait 10 seconds for them to drive away. He has to open his eyes and look toward them. Of course, they detect the movement and come back to double-check.
Crow: Oh! This was all so avoidable!
Vadinho tells the Pumaman, “Fight!”
Crow as Vadinho: Turn on your goofy theme music and jump around!
Servo: Oh, he accidently gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.
All singing: Puma Man, he flies like a moron!
Crow: You know, I have almost no respect for pumas now. I now know that if I ever run into a puma, I can just push it the hell over.
Our hero explains to the girl while flying how little
Pumamen are made.
Mike: And immediately he defiles the holy gift given to him!
Vadinho: Now go!
Puma man closes his eyes and concentrates.
Crow: No! Not that kind of go!
Mike: Wool-over-his-eyes Man!
Crow: Easily-bamboozled Man!
Servo: Three-steps-behind Man!
Mike: I hate to be picky, but pumas aren't really known for flying.
Servo: He is the Puma Man! He can get out of a car going 3
miles per hour!