902 – The Phantom Planet
ééééé
Things I liked in the movie:
The Solarites’ love of chicken mcnuggets.
Makonnen’s speech about beauty.
How the atmosphere makes people shrink and grow.
Impressions
This is a good episode. Most of the humor revolves around Chapman’s ugly visage. When the Solarites appear, looking like Disney’s Goofy, the dopey voice riffs are very funny. The special effects are very immature. The sets are as cheap as they come. The point of the movie is lost on me, but the SOL crew elevates it with top-notch sarcasm.
Astronauts are sent into space. They get caught in a tractor beam and are pulled down onto an asteroid. The femmy one dies and the ugly one, Frank Chapman (aka Frankchapman) lives. Chapman is shrunk to about 1/100 his original size because of the atmosphere (!). He is taken prisoner but is almost immediately let into the innermost circles of the tiny planet’s government and starts bossing them around.
Of course, the two best-looking women (one of them mute) vie for Chapman’s affections. An uptight guy is jealous of one of the girls and tries to get Chapman punished several times, to no avail. Finally, they fight the Solarites and defeat them. Chapman’s help elicits gratitude and they help him go home.
Opening: Crow and Tom challenge Mike to an Andy Rooney-off. This is pretty funny and they all do a pretty good Rooney.
Intro: Mike and the ‘Bots are still Rooney-ing and it’s driving Gypsy mad. Pearl recognizes that they’re doing “Mickey” Rooney. Pearl's World Domination Starter Kit arrives from Speigel, but she notes that “Thing shipped separately.” Mike and the ‘Bots get the “thing” and even though Mike says it’s dangerous, they want to keep it as a pet. It’s apparently radioactive because the bots exhibit some oddities.
Host segment 1: Mike and Tom focus their attention on the Good and the Beautiful. This is a mockery of Makonnen’s inane comment. They settle on sauerbraten and a picture of Tawny Kitain as the perfect representation of the good and the beautiful.
Host segment 2: Pearl and Brain Guy are all excited about their prospects of ruling the world, but get scared by a spirit that turns out to be Bobo. Mike is locked out of the SOL because Crow forgot to help him.
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom are trying really hard to play Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star on some glass rims. They invite Mike to try it, and soon regret that they did because he’s way better than they are. He plays a beautiful bit of music and then walks away. They go back to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and can only get a couple of notes.
End: Crow finds himself in a Solarite costume and starts a discussion about how they sometimes do that. Pearl is depressed but some villagers show up to attack. She prepares to kill them, but they’re just a welcoming committee.
Stinger: The Good and the Beautiful spiel by Makonnen.
This wasn’t a riff, but it was funny by itself.
Makonnen: You know, Captain, every year of my life, I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best is to fix our attention on the good and the
beautiful . . . if you just take the time to look at it.
Chapman is confused by Eden's explanation of how his ship was landed.
Chapman: I don't understand.
Sessom: There are many things you will not understand here.
Crow as Sessom: . . . being an obvious doorknob.
The judge speaks to the all-female jury, whose members stand single-file and are dressed in cheerleader-style skirts.
Judge Eden: The jury will now vote and find you guilty or not guilty for inflicting injury on a Rheton man.
Servo as Jury: cheering GUILTY! GUILTY!
G-U-I-L … T-Y!
Guilty! Guilty!
G-U-I-L … T-Y!
Whoo! Yaaaay!
Liara tells Chapman that Rheton's different atmosphere caused him to shrink.
Liara: You see, oxygen in your atmosphere would restore you immediately to your regular size.
Crow: So people are just balloons?
Lt. White, from the rescue ship, has found Chapman lying on the
ground in his spacesuit.
White: Where's Makonnen?
Chapman: He's dead. Gone.
Mike as Chapman: He kept yapping about beauty, so I shot him out the airlock.
Crow: Houston, we have a moron.
Crow: Turns out it's not funny at all when you fart in your spacesuit.
Asteroids fly past. They look like granola.
Servo: Honey Bunches of Death!
A Solarite ship is on fire.
Servo as Solarite Pilot: Muh engine light is on and I don't know why.
The Solarite is stepping gingerly down the stairs.
Crow: He’s an elderly Solarite.