701TD – Night of the Blood Beast
with short: Once Upon a Honeymoon
éééé
Things I liked in the movie:
Baby shrimp.
NASA used to run on $500 a month.
The name “Blood Beast” for a monster that looks like Sigmund the Sea Monster.
Impressions
The funniest section is the beginning where NASA appears to be a bunch of hick farmers driving old farm trucks around. The movie is pretty goofy. It has a lot of nonsensical dialog and standing around. There is an adventurous scene where they walk about a mile, Roger Corman style. The creature is pretty funny, but the riffs are funnier. I laughed quite a bit at Mike and the ‘Bots and even some at the movie itself. The funniest line in the dialogue was when several scientists report having shot a giant beast several times and it just walked off. Dr. Wyman says, “Wounded animal that large isn’t good.” They picked that line for the stinger.
Synopsis
Short
Goofy short about a couple trying to go on a honeymoon, but the husband/songwriter has to write a song before they can leave. A gay angel comes and sprinkles magic dust on them and he writes a song. They get to leave. The end.
The movie is about an astronaut named Johnny who crashes on re-entry. He’s sort of dead but he won’t decompose. NASA is composed of about 6 people driving very old cars in the California desert. They take Johnny’s corpse back to some lab where they verify about 25 different ways that he’s dead. The power goes out. Johnny comes back to life and Dr. Wyman, the depressed senior doctor, is killed violently.
It turns out there is a monster who goes by the name Blood Beast (Blood for short) that looks like a man-sized parrot draped in seaweed who has resurrected Johnny by planting his seedlings inside of him. Johnny, now carrying alien babies inside, becomes sympathetic to the blood beast’s cause.
There’s a big showdown where the blood beast reveals his plan to save the Earth and how the plan requires that all Earthlings be subjugated. This is the trigger for the remaining two scientists to cover him in gasoline and light him on fire. Johnny, the resurrected astronaut, stabs himself in the stomach an hour before giving birth to a bunch of shrimp and dies. The other four surviving characters just leave him in the road and walk home. The end.
Host Segments
First: Lively thanksgiving football game discussion degenerates into every kind of sport mixed into one. Dr. Forrester’s mother, Pearl, is visiting. Pearl recognizes Crow from some past life and Crow tries to convince her he’s in charge on the SOL. Nothing fancy.
Second: Stuffing vs Potatoes documentary done by Crow and Servo. Many questionable facts. Random and silly. Pretty funny.
Third: Thanksgiving dinner in Deep 13. Pearl and Crow (Art) talk about Pearl’s son. Crow recommends killing him. A drunk party-goer brings in a woman dressed as “Mr. B Natural” and calls him sir and man.
Fourth: Mike and the bots finish singing the national anthem before eating their turkey dinner. Crow is missing. He’s in Deep 13 eating with the Mads. The Mads each thank God for various odd things.
Final segment. Servo is a talking mincemeat pie that claims he’s responsible for various problems in the world. Pearl has poisoned all the guests down below and plans to stay with Dr. F.
Stinger: Dr. Wyman saying “Wounded animal that large isn’t good.”
The angel Wilbur is introduced.
Mike: Oh, Wilbur (Mr. Ed voice)
Girl (singing a wish song): I wish the sink wouldn’t drip all day!
Crow: Aim high, sister!
The husband has song-writer’s block.
Mike: Here’s all I’ve written . . . LA!
After the girl fantasizes about a goofy-looking bedroom:
Servo: Yeah, sort of a westerny, ginghamy, oriental, Danish, modernesque prairie school sort of thing, hmm?
Servo: What the hell was that about, anyway?
Music gets rambunctious.
Mike: The conductor’s having a seizure!
The astronaut is panicking as he loses control of his ship. The lighting goes berserk.
Mike: I’m being severely backlit!
Rescue man is calling in on the radio after seeing the crashed capsule.
Crow: Breaker one-niner from the big booty, we got spam in the can and we’ll catch you on the big bounce around. Over.
Servo: He’s not that alive anymore. Over.
The truck has to stop before they can answer the radio:
Servo: Hold on, we’re switching all power to the radio.
A dumb-looking Donna with messy hair mopes around.
Mike: Am I having a feeling? Do I need a perm?
“NASA” apparently sends a 1902 farm truck on the mission.
Servo: This is when NASA was family owned and operated.
Mike: This is like Night of the Ground Squirrel.
Julie: His death must be due to an internal rupture
Mike: He should have worn a cup.
They examine the corpse for hours and keeping pointing out no pulse and no respiration. They look at him yet again.
Mike: He’s getting deader
The power goes out. Cut to a man exiting a small building.
Mike: The outhouse is connected to the main breaker at NASA.
Crow: Maybe they shouldn’t have launched a rocket when the dryer was running.
Mike (as Dave): Everything’s going wrong in this movie!
Mike: I saw a huge blood-sucking alien, but I didn’t think it was important, either.
Dr. Wyman: We’re all tired . . . disappointed . . .
Servo: Stupid
Dr. Wyman: He alone stood on the threshold of our future
Mike: And peed it down his leg
Mike: Be vewwy quiet, wew hunting bwood beast. He he he he.
Johnny or Steve or whatever his name is: It didn’t come here to destroy!
Julie: Johnny, try to tell us. What didn’t come here to destroy?
Johnny falls forward with his head on her chest
Mike: No more questions. More boobies!
They move his head to a man’s chest.
Mike: This one’s not as nice.
The blood beast bursts into the room.
Mike: Barnie’s been in a fire!
Crow in a raspy voice: I love you. You burn me.
Johnny gets under the fluoroscope, which works even though the power is out.
Servo: He’s loaded with shrimp!
Crow: Maybe if they had a blood hound?
The blood beast grabs the girl.
Crow: Sigmund the Sea Monster’s got me!
Mike: I’m really the love beast!
Johnny: Don’t stare at me Julie.
Julie lowers her gaze
Servo: And don’t look at my area.
Julie: . . . and it’s done this to you
Servo: He shrimped you!
Long scene of them walking.
Crow: If you see the name Corman, there’s gonna be walkin’.
Blood Beast: Don’t kill me!
Mike: You big dopes!
Crow: The St Louis Parrots’ mascot was burned to death today.
Night of the Blood Beast IMDB Page