éééé
Things I liked in the movie:
Saying “Cabot!”
The unnecessarily cruel mistreatment of the slaves.
All the skin.
Impressions
I can’t say why I like this episode so much. My brain says it’s only just average, but I did enjoy it. The Toobular Boobular Joy song alone is worth watching for.
Synopsis
A cool boring guy, Cabot, with a very obnoxious sidekick, suddenly find themselves on a planet called Gor. Gor is a desert planet where everyone joyfully shouts “Cabot” all the time. There is a king and an advisor who are identical twins apparently. The trophy queen stabs them both in about an hour and takes over the planet. She’s a bad ruler who orders all her minions to be abnormally cruel to such a degree that they get tired of all the beating, whipping, and tormenting of the stupid slave people. Her fatal character flaw is that she loves Cabot, too, though and eventually this results in the hit man she hired skewering her right in view of all the people she’s oppressed. The end. Yay. This movie has the unique feature of having the name “Cabot” spoken more times than any other word in a movie except for the f-word in Scarface. The women all have enormous hair. There are so many butt shots of both the men and women in this movie, that the final host segment is just a montage of male butt shots with a song called “Tubular Boobular Joy,” which may be the funniest host segment thing ever. I’ve included the lyrics because they’re so wonderful.
Host segments:
Segment one: Invention exchange. Frank and Dr. F demonstrate how their time machine takes them back to “Caveman times” only Frank is in a Roman getup. Mike and the bots have Fabio accessories.
Segment two: Mike shows a photo album of him in the theater. He’s in about 25 plays, always in a sailor suit.
Segment three: Hilarious vaudville bit singing about the skin in the movie. The song is “Tubular Boobular” according to the credits.
Segment four: Mike and the bots read aloud Jack Palance’s tell-all book. It includes his shock at being cast as “some kind of wizard.” But mostly it’s just scandals.
Final segment: A montage of men’s butt shots in the movie. Ick! Frank and Dr. F dance all sorts of dances in their caveman and Roman getups.
Some good riffs:
The wizard comes in as the king’s advisor is leaving a room with a large glowing stone sitting on a table.
Mike: He crapped bigger than me.
The obnoxious sidekick is being massaged by beautiful women.
Crow: He looks like a happy pig!
Dancers are on all fours and do one-legged donkey kicks:
All 3: Hee haw! Hee haw!
The queen starts to seduce the obnoxious sidekick to get control over Cabot.
Crow: She’s trying to sleep her way to the bottom.
The hero extracts a dagger from the king’s back.
Servo: Well, look! Here’s your problem!
The hit man arrives in the queen’s court.
Mike: We need to check your package.
Movie: Stop beating up my merchandise! (to a guard beating a slave)
Servo: The merchandise started it!
Tom: Say, fellas. There sure is a lot of skin in
this movie, id'n't there?
Mike: There sure is!
Crow: (as Jimmy Durante) Yet, despite all the acres of flesh,
in this film I just can't come up with a word to describes it.
Tom: Well, I can!
Mike: You can?
Tom: Why sure! (singing) It's breastakaboobical,
chestakamammical,
pendular globular fun!
Mike: Fleshical orbulal, moundula, scoopula?
Tom: Right-o! That's the one!
Crow: Is it gluteal maximal, tushital crackular, bunular
morning 'til night?
Tom: Well you're absotiglandular, fanny-fantastical,
mastokafleshular right!
All: It's an arealogical autoerotical tubular boobular joy!
An exposular regional, batchical pouchular fun for girl and boy!
A litisimal dorsical, hung like a horsical, caliphyligical ball!
Crow: The most bunular funular!
Mike: Fruit of the loomular!
Crow: Frenchical tongular!
Tom: Wabitaboobular!
Mike: Movie of them alllllllllll!!!!!
Tom: Funular bunular, fruit of the loomular, frenchical
tongular, wabitaboobular! Fleshical orbicle, smorgasti-boobular, tushobutt
cheekular ball!
All: Hey!!!