éééé
Things I liked about the movie:
The putting up of knees.
Chase’s adorably pathetic sister.
The ordinary-sized Gila monster.
Impressions
The hype for this film is unbelievable. The Gila monster is only in the movie about 2 minutes total. And I’m not sure he did anything. Most of the movie is about a good kid named Chase who helps everyone, including his impossibly pathetic sister. A better title may have been The Really Nice, Underappreciated Kid.
A giant Gila monster grows in the desert where no one notices. There’s a lot of putting up of knees. The plot seems to be about whether Chase will be able to keep up with towing all the cars that keep running off the road. Chase sings a great song that goes something like, “I sling whenever I ring whenever I sing la la la the thing.” Chase’s sister tries to walk with her braces. The ‘Bots sob and yell, “It’s tender!” There are some skid marks. Oh yeah, and a Gila monster makes a cameo just in time to get blown up when some rock-and-roll-loving, suit-wearing, thirtysomething teens kill it with a really nice car.
Segment one: Crow’s head is attached to Servo, so he’s the thing with two heads from the movie with the same name. After commercials, headless ‘bots run around while the heads kibitz from the counter. Frank announces Dr. F died. Dr. F shows up and spoils the surprise. Invention exchange – Joel has a special radio with dedicated channels that are based on themes like plot points. The Mads invent punching bags with Renaissance Festival characters that you want to punch. Frank gets in touch with his inner anger toward them.
Segment two: Joel and the ‘Bots are rockin’ and rollin’ in Joel’s new soda fountain in a closet. The ‘bots aren’t cooperative, so Joel whines.
Segment three: Joel is a drunk “Crazy Guggenheim.” They celebrate the funny drunks that used to be popular in the 60s TV. They each do their own drunks. Crow does the crazy late night drunk friend call. Tom is the life of the New Year’s Eve party. Gipsy is skinny with arms and big red lips.
Segment four: Servo on Cinema. Tom gives a bio on director Ray Kellogg. The gila monster was made to look huge by sets with twigs and matchbox cars. It was very expensive and there was no money left for blocking. Crow gets upset about the actors always putting their legs up on everything. A short film follows about the leg-up position. Very funny!
End: Joel and the ‘Bots are a cover band named Hee-La. Crow does the Gene Simmons tongue. Joel reads a nice letter from a fan that turns out to be TV’s Frank. Dr. F hits him with a flail.
During credits, we’re told the story is fictitious.
Joel: Oh, great. The Gila monster is fictitious. What a downer.
Sheriff: Let me smell your breath!
Old man opens mouth.
Crow: Nice uvula!
Man: You work all the angles, don’t you?
Crow: He’s a geometry teacher
After the monster kills a salesman, the camera looks at a suitcase for a while.
Servo: And for killing that salesman, you win this Samsonite suitcase!
Chase and the French girl are kissing.
Joel: French people kiss funny.
A car drives off the road. Tow truck shows up 1 second later
Joel: I’ve been following you around for days just hoping you might need a tow job.
Chase excitedly looks at the bills he was handed: Two twenties!
Tom: That makes thirty dollars!
Chase drinks out of a puddle. Cut to the Gila monster
Joel: Hey, don’t drink that! That’s my urine. Even I don’t do that.
Drunk guy crashes a tank truck after spotting the Gila monster. It explodes.
Crow: Wow! The first cool thing in the movie!
Cut to the Gila monster
Joel: I just know I’m gonna take the blame for this . . . and I wasn’t even close!
Chase throws his mom over his shoulder.
Joel: Oedipus you put me down! You’ll put your eyes out!
Chase is singing a horrible song to his sister.
Joel as sister: I’m going to go listen to my cat scream.
Horrible song ends.
Joel as sister: That’s real nice, but it doesn’t help my legs.
Joel as French girlfriend: Don’t ever sing that song again.
Drunk: I demand a sobriety test ‘cuz I ain’t been drinkin’.
Joel: Thank you senator, your testimony has been noted.
Sheriff: There was another report out of Russia or the Ukraine, it was in the paper, maybe you saw it. It was about a baby that weighed 130 lbs when it was 10 months old, it was taller than its mother?
Joel as Chase: Sure, I read “The Enquirer.”
A crowded barn dance is in progress.
Joel: It’s a teenage grope-fest!
Chase sings the horrible “Laugh Children Laugh” song again. He repeats “The Lord said ‘Laugh, children laugh’ ”
Joel: I just want to know if the Lord said it this many times in a row.
Crow: That’s why the Deuteronomy’s so long.
There’s a long giant Gila track near Chase’s house
Chase: They usually travel in a straight line
Joel: Unless they’re hammered!
The Gila monster gets blowed up.
Crow: They killed off the only likable character!