éééé
Things I liked about the movie:
Hangliding in the middle ages.
Miles o’ Keefe!
The best flashback of all time.
Impressions
Wait for it . . . wait for it . . . this is the worst movie panned by the crew yet! Disclaimer. It’s one of those movies that seems like it might be good, but it really isn’t in a big way. It’s an unintentional parody of Conan and pretty much of every adventure movie. Miles O’Keefe is buff, I’ll give him that, but he rats his hair and wears goofy boots, inspiring Joel to ask, “Who is this stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?” The story feels sort of Tolkienian, but is really more like a lame fan fiction. There is something fun about it, though. Even without the riffing, it’s sort of fun and silly. I mean how serious can a movie be that lets its medieval hero fly a hang glider? This episode also has a super-riff that has become a Mistie fan handshake of sorts: Question: “How much Keefe is in this movie?” Answer: “Miles O’Keefe.” Ha. ha. That is funny.
Synopsis
We see some cave people from another movie. They are acting savage. Then we go to a wizard now known to Misties as The Really Dull Old Guy (RDOG) who lives in the Bruce Wayne mansion. He tells his daughter that unless she can go thousands of miles on foot (presumably in less than a decade) and bring back Miles O’Keefe to fight for them, his flashy crystal will fall into the hands of the Mean John Saxon Type Guy (MJSTG) and he’s just the type to do something really really bad with it. The explanation of who Miles is requires a play within a play, which is essentially a prequel played in 4x fast forward with narration so complex and detailed that “Geez! Even Tolkien couldn’t follow this plot!” This is definitely the most confusing flashback ever.
Thus informed, the daughter travels on foot to the orient and finds our hero who promptly imprisons her. She impresses him by blowing herself up and he agrees to walk back with her. The trip back is a wild adventure complete with being captured by the MJSTG who feeds Miles to a giant snake. But the joke’s on him! After he ding-dongs Miles’s pec, Miles chops the snake’s head off. Take that! This depresses MJSTG and he temporarily turns unsmug.
MJSTG captures the castle with RDOG inside and threatens to torture him but RDOG won’t crack.
Miles sends his oriental cohort and the daughter to attack the castle to rescue RDOG, but he himself stays behind. In the piece de resistance, Miles flies a modern twentieth-century hang glider over the castle and bothers the enemy quite a bit.
Eventually, the good guys win and Miles acts pretty smug about it in retaliation for MJSTG’s earlier smugness.
Host Segments
Prologue: Joel and the Bots try to think up favorite new names for themselves
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Joel invents the Smoking Jacket; the Mads invent Robotic Arm Wrestling
Segment Two: Joel and the ‘Bots re-enact the movie’s opening credits, complete with synthesizer music and shoebox formatted screen
Segment Three: Joel explains how giving fancy names to ordinary things helps dress up a low budget movie so it seems better. They try it out on a few things they know.
Segment Four: Joel demonstrates to the ’Bots the work of a Foley Artist (aka making sound-effects for movies). This is pretty interesting and I learned a bit about Foley art from it. It’s also hilarious. One of my favorite host segments.
Segment Five (End): Joel and the Bots complain to the Mads about this movie and illustrate by pointing out many of the continuity errors and anachronisms within it. Frank is reveling in the evil it took to make them watch it.
Funny Riffs
During the credits, “Miles O’ Keefe” appears among the names
Joel: How much keefe is in this movie anyway?
Servo: Miles O'Keefe!
Akronas is telling his daughter about Ator’s history. It’s dozens of clips of video from other movies.
Crow: Jeez! Tolkien couldn't follow this plot!
The daughter is limping after being shot in the chest with an arrow.
Joel: Why is she limping?
Crow: Well, she has an arrow in her chest.
Joel: Ahh, Ok. Huh?!
Crow: I'd shoot Donald Regan to prove my love for Lisa Foster.
Ator: We'll take them back to the village, and I'll speak to their people.
Joel: The Village People?
Crow, in Scottish voice like in Spinal Tap: Before the dawn of time, a race of druids. Nobuty knew who dey were or where dey came from.
During the credits, Joel and the Bots are on a roll making fun of names. Then “Cave Dwellers rolls by.
Joel: Kah Vay Dwellers? Wasn't he in... S
Servo: Ca... Cave dwellers... It's the name of the movie... I'm guessing.
The movie has anachronistic handrails on the stairs!
Crow, as dull old guy: Use the handrails! I invented them for a reason!
Ator: I don't understand!
Crow: We're not surprised!
Akronas (RDOG) turns slowly and dramatically and looks straight into the camera.
Crow: What do you, the viewers at home think?
Servo: So, let's
recap the action so far -
Crow: What action?
Servo: Oh, yeah. Moving right along...
Ator: First you must
prove to us if you are the daughter of the Great One.
Crow: If you can
look bored and speak haltingly, you’re in!
Ator glides
blissfully on his hang glider.
Joel as Ator: I'm the luckiest boy in the world!!