201 – Rocketship X-M
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Things I like about the movie:
Mars and The Moon are a few blocks apart.
Martians have good throwing arms.
Everybody dies!
Impressions
Lloyd Bridges plays a chauvinistic goober! Dr. Forrester calls it a chillingly uninteresting bit of non-action. At least it has the guts to have a tragic ending. It’s a B-movie, as evidenced by these facts: ground control consists of 3 people by a radio in a classroom surrounded by reporters; the astronauts seem surprised by zero-G; when the ship is in outer space and encounters a cluster of rocks, the highly educated scientists yell, “meteorites!” The riffs were ok, but not great. A decent episode overall.
Synopsis
For the first half-hour of the movie, we see a reasonably realistic, albeit boring, press conference, preparation, and launch of a rocket intended to be sent to the moon. We’re introduced to the crew, four men and one woman (the movie puts her down several times for being a woman, and of course, Lloyd Bridges hits on her the whole time). After launch, as the crew modifies the fuel mixture to change speed and trajectory, the sudden increase in thrust knocks them all unconscious.
When the astronauts come to, they’re approaching Mars! And it only took four days longer than going to the moon! They decide to land on Mars to make the best of this great opportunity. They land and explore. They find Martian cities but everyone is dead because of a nuclear war. We’re treated to a lecture about how people kill each other.
Some Martians come during the night. They look like post-apocalyptic primitive humans and they kill two of the astronauts by throwing rocks at them. The other three astronauts reach the rocket and head back to Earth. Unfortunately, the fuel runs out on the way home and they don’t have any fuel for landing. They die when they crash to Earth. In the end, we learn the flight and loss of Rocketship X-M was useful for learning and RXM 2 will follow.
Host Segments
Prologue and first: Joel is working on Tom Servo’s voice. This is the first episode of season two. They switched out Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Forrester) and replaced him with the voice that would stick for the rest of the show, Kevin Murphy (Bobo). TV’s Frank has replaced Larry on the ground. Frank is wearing a trainee badge. Crow is faking a toothache. Joel invented the BGC1-9, which is a drum set in a frame that lets you walk around. This is the weird yellow frame thing he’s seen in during the theme song. Frank plagiarized his idea.
Second: Joel and the ‘Bots salute the journalists of Rocketship X-M who record whatever drivel they are fed. They spotlight each of the reporters in a still frame from the press conference and mock them.
Third: Joel is telling Crow and Tom how selective gravity works. It requires wires and the items that float have to be funny. (In the movie only funny things float and the rest of the stuff stays put.) Woodchucks are extremely funny when floating. Gallagher is not funny, floating or not. Tom and Crow play $100,000 Pyramid with the category “Things that are funny floating.”
Fourth: Joel asks “Where do you want to be in two years?” The ‘Bots answer with poetry and pop song lyrics. A ship comes near and they communicate with it via the hexfield. It’s Mike Nelson as the weird girl from Robot Holocaust.
Final: Joel and the ‘Bots are depressed and complain about being forced to watch space capsule people dying when they’re trapped in a space capsule. Frank is still a trainee and can’t competently “push the button” to end the show.
Stinger: No stinger
Funny Riffs
Major Corrigan: Honey, I’m going to the moon!
Reporter: What did she say?
Joel as Corrigan’s Wife: Not tonight honey, I have a headache.
As the press conference ends
NASA boss guy: Everybody return here after the take-off.
Crow: Except the astronauts. We need them on the rocket.
Right before take-off, the camera pauses for a second at each astronaut’s face:
Dr. Karl Eckstrom (Joel): Did I leave the water running?
Dr. Lisa Van Horne (Tom): God, I need this job.
Major William Corrigan (Joel): I hope Jimmy brought the Camaro in.
Lloyd Bridges / Graham (Crow): By this time my lungs were aching for air.
Dr. Ralph Fleming (Tom): I hope this new chin holds out.
The astronauts are looking at Earth from a window. It looks a little fake.
Tom: It says “Rand McNally” across the top.
An alarm goes off on the ship while Bridges’ character is hitting on Dr. Van Horne
Joel: Ohp. Chauvinist detector just went off.
Dr. Van Horne is writing
Crow: Dear Diary, well, we’re all going to die and it’s the men’s fault. Our fiery demise is imminent, but at least I have my health (knock on wood).
After hanging up from a phone call, the mission director on the ground looks grim.
Tom: I have some rather bad news. There’s more film.
Lloyd Bridges is putting the moves on Dr. Van Horne and tells her moonlight is potent on women. He doesn’t need it. (The moon is seen behind him)
Van Horne: You’re immune?
Crow in a French accent as Bridges: No. I’m Lloyd. THAT’s the myoon.
Van Horne, with her German accent, tells of a time she went on a stroll around a lake.
Crow as Van Horne in a German accent: Und zen, I measured the velocity of our walk.
Repeating jokes:
When Lloyd Bridges is shown:
By this time, my lungs were aching for air. (Seahunt)
And,
Where do you want to be in two years?
As they fly through “meteorites” in outer space:
Crow: Looks like Poppycock!
Corrigan: Maybe someone don’t want us to get where we aim to get.
Joel: Yeah, the god of grammar.
Bridges: We’re not getting enough oxygen.
Crow as Bridges: My lungs are . . . well . . . you know.
After they’ve been going who knows how fast for who knows how long
Dr. Eckstrom: You know the consequences of a body moving with unchecked velocity in free space?
Crow: Uh, we’re our own grandparents?
Dr. Van Horne: Any sign of increasing speed?
Bridges: Not yet.
Crow: How’s the plot doing?
The fuel gauges show empty.
Tom: The good news is we won’t make a big explosion when we hit the Earth!