110 – Robot Holocaust with short: Commando Cody 9 (partial)
ééé
Things I liked about the movie:
How Jorn became the Avocado Man.
The lobster-faced manager “robot” with the
crazy overbite.
The Dark One’s management style—sort of
Michael Scott crossed with Hitler.
The film broke after a few minutes. Yay!
This is essentially The Wizard of Oz if it got hit on the head and suffered a severe brain trauma and then had a love child with Conan The Barbarian and The Matrix. Some fur-covered travelers travel along a clearly marked path, pick up misfits and fight with odd attackers as they move along. Still, in spite of its resemblance to that great movie, and in spite of the occasionally funny sarcastic barb, my interest level didn’t rise even to that elicited by the average infomercial. I get the sense this movie was made from what might have been a moderately interesting fantasy novel, but lack of competent direction and casting turned it into an unintentionally campy comedy.
I thought the heckling from Joel and the ‘Bots was moderate to below average (compared to later seasons). They seemed to focus on the host segments more than the riffing.
Car chase on the moon. Gunfight. Cody’s group takes off in their rocket and the film breaks.
In what seems to be a post-apocalyptic America, humans are reduced to being savages in pockets around New York. The largest density of humans is enslaved by a robotic overlord who goes by the name “The Dark One.” This Dark One has all power, except he can’t do anything without the help of a self-absorbed barbie doll named Valaria, who speaks with a strong, generic accent and follows his directions incompetently. Even though she seems to be the only person who is willing to carry out his nefarious commands, The Dark One nags and punishes her more than anyone else.
The reason the humans work for The Dark One is because he controls their air. It’s a symbiotic relationship. The Dark One needs their labor to stay powered and they need the air he gives them. In order to get free, they need to be able to breathe the toxic outside air. Some people are immune, including Neo, a stranger who appears one day and declares that he’s going to free them. Besides Neo’s natural immunity, an air slave named Jorn has developed a clip-on device that makes it possible to breathe the outside air. He wants to give these to all the air slaves but for now he only has two, one for himself and one for his daughter.
The Dark One has Jorn tortured to try to find out how he can breathe the toxic air. Meanwhile, Neo, Jorn’s daughter, and a band of misfits travel to “the power station” which seems to be The Dark One’s headquarters and nerve center with intent to destroy The Dark One.
The rest of the air slaves realize their only hope for freedom is if Neo and company destroy The Dark One. To help, they pretend to work, but secretly don’t produce any power. The Dark One learns this too late and becomes weak right as Neo et al arrive.
The travelers arrive at the power station and fight their way to the nerve center, where The Dark One lives. We never see this Dark One (unless he’s just a bank of dials, in which case we see him for half the movie). The travelers find Jorn, who has now become a large avocado with a head sticking out the top. Jorn’s daughter, who has been hoping to rescue her father, is very sad about this. Jorn asks to be killed because he doesn’t want to be an avocado, and Neo obliges. I don’t know how they take over The Dark One, but it has something to do with killing Valaria and taking over control of the bank of dials that controls him.
We learn that the now freed air slaves will renew “New Terra.”
Prologue: Joel explains the premise of the show. They sing a blues song about the commercial break. Invention exchange: Joel invented a monster truck pipe. Dr. F has invented a stocking mask for bank robbers that let you show facial expressions by moving the eyebrows.
Second: Crow and Tom are dressed in furs. They require Joel to do a coin trick, the crazy duck face, and a handstand.
Third: Tom and Crow are pretending to be in a sitcom. They make dirty jokes about dating triplets to a laugh track. Joel complains that Cambot’s sitcom simulator is out of whack.
Fourth: Crow, Tom, and Joel re-enact the movie, sort of.
Final: Joel examines Jorn in the egg/avocado thing. They ask people for names for the plant guy. They came up with Guacamole Wilson; Limbless, Mucus-Encrusted Avocado Man; and “Carl.” Joel reads some letters.
Stinger: No stinger.
Tom: I guess it’s a wasteland if you don’t count that big city behind you.
Joel: Maybe they’re looking for the renaissance festival.
There’s a sign on a tree that looks like a man with a red circle and bar over him.
Crow: It says “This is not a men’s room.”
Joel: I think it says “No graphics.”
Voiceover: A knife is placed in the ground.
Tom: A voiceover is placed in the script.
Man: Your ancestors came from the wastelands.
Woman: We have no history. We’ve always been here.
Crow: So you have a history.
Valaria: There. Isn’t that better?
Crow: What? Your accent?
Valeria: Yes, Dark One.
Joel: Stock wad?
Crow: Stock worm?
Valeria: Yes, Dark One.
Joel: Stock one.
Tom: Duck one, I think.
The sock-puppet “sewage worms” attack one man and hurt him badly.
Joel: I don’t think my socks have ever gotten that bad.
Tom: This whole movie is just socks and violence.
Valeria to father: Do you wish to say anything?
Joel as father: Yeah. Do you know Elmer Fudd?
The camera lingers on Valaria.
Joel: If you wew a twee, what kind of twee would you be?
Voiceover: And so Jorn was finally face to face with the being known as . . . The Dark One.
Joel: A being so hideously expensive, we couldn’t show it on the screen.
Two slaves are talking about how Neo has been gone for days, The Dark One cuts off their air if they try to escape, all hope is lost. They will be slaves forever.
Crow: How did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern get into this film?
Valaria: Whatever information we need will come from the Dark One.
Tom Servo: The dart board?