106 – The Crawling Hand

 

éééé

 

Things I liked about the movie:

 

The name! 

The teenager-hating soda fountain owner.

It’s a hand! 

 

Impressions

 

There are dozens of campy hand-related riffs.  “Let your fingers do the walking,” “Good thing she has a hand gun!” and “Let’s give him a hand!”  It’s a pretty dumb movie, of course.  In fact, this is the worst movie panned by the crew yet!  Disclaimer.  The monster is so seemingly harmless (he’s only a hand!) that they had to beef it up by having a teenager partially strangle a bunch of people to make it seem scarier.  This is similar to The Crawling Eye in this regard, as the name might suggest.  The primary difference between the two movies is the size of the crawling body part.

 

Synopsis

 

You’ve never heard this one before.  Seriously.  An astronaut goes up, comes back, radiation is involved.  The monster is the astronaut (or in this case part of him) going around killing people under a different power.  Just the hand!  There is some kid who likes a girl, a scientist, a government agency.  Yada yada yada.  Sadly, in the end, the hand is eaten by cats.  Yes, this is as good as it sounds.  There is a sub-plot in which an otherwise likeable kid goes crazy for unknown reasons and tries to strangle people including a very crabby soda fountain owner who doesn’t like teenagers, who are, ironically, his primary source of income. 

 

Host Segments

 

Prologue:  With the assistance of Cambot, Joel gives an overview of the show

 

Segment One:  Joel invents a Safety Circular Saw, but using it is very “tricky”; the Mads invent the Limb Lengthener, which Dr. F demonstrates on Dr. E

 

Segment Two:  Crow is bowling while Servo does the voice-over announcing, but Joel wants to play other games – first Murder Ball, then Paper-Scissors-Rock – so the ’Bots decide to ditch him instead

 

Segment Three:  Joel and the ‘Bots do their best William Shatner as Captain Kirk impressions while being choked by a crawling hand.  Extremely funny!  Tom and Crow ask, “How does Shatner do it week after week?  And more importantly, who lets him do it?”

 

Segment Four:  The ’Bots talk about how lame a monster the crawling hand is, so Joel tries to convince them otherwise, until a giant crawling hand shows up.

 

Final:  The ’Bots get RAM chips for saying a good thing and a bad thing about the movie:  a letter;  the Mads are fighting it out

 

Funny riffs

 

Movie:  Not a trace, not a solitary trace.

Joel:  Must be a talent meter.

 

Marta’s boyfriend almost strangles her

Joel (as Marta): Every time I get a boyfriend, he crushes my windpipe!

 

Good thing she has a hand gun!

 

Let your fingers do the walking!

 

The world’s least effective strangler.

 

Crow:  He looks like a cross between Jerry Mathers & James Dean!

Servo:  Beaver without a cause

 

The ineffective police chief is Alan Hale, Jr., who plays The Skipper on Gilligan’s Island.

Crow as police chief reading a note:  Dear Skipper: Why haven't you sent help? Signed, The Castaways.

 

Tom as the police chief: Where's the little body, little buddy?

 

A character trips over a ball

Tom:  It's the crawling bladder!

 

Joel: You can tell it's a low budget movie 'cause they can't wreck the cars.

 

Crawling Hand IMDB Page

 

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