103 – The Mad Monster with Short: Commando Cody #2
éé
Things I liked about the movie:
Werewolves are very similar to apes.
Here’s a good way to kill your enemies: 1) make a werewolf, 2) when the moon gets full put enemy and werewolf together, 3) check the obituaries
Impressions
Short: It’s just another Commando Cody episode. The riffs are below average and it’s a chore
to watch the short.
Movie: First, the riffs.
They were sparse. Some were pretty funny, but they were mostly
about the werewolf character being a dog, and just kind of clever without being
overly funny. This is only the third
episode since KTMA, so it’s forgivable.
It seems like they spend lots of time and energy on making the host
segments as funny as possible (and they were funny), but not much on the
riffing of the movies yet. I enjoyed it
more than most non-MST shows, but compared to the rest of the episodes, I’d say
this is on the bottom end. Second, the
host segments. These were the best part
of this episode. They were clever and
brainy. The movie itself was an
interesting choice. Call me strange,
but I kind of like the premise. A
doctor who wants to make a planet where wolves evolve from men is ridiculed by
his colleagues. Instead of just proving
them wrong and getting famous, he very cleverly uses the very discovery to kill
them. And he does it in a way that
makes him look innocent—by having them each be alone with the werewolf when he
changes. A seemingly perfect
crime. However, the execution of this
worthy idea is absolutely pathetic. To
save money, when the werewolf changes, they have him wearing a big hat. He seems to fall asleep and the hat covers
his face. The scene jumps due to a bad
camera cut, after which, he lifts his head back up, magically transformed into
an Amish ape-man. The acting is rapid
fire line recitation. The sound track
is old and rough. The movie is filmed
in depress-o-vision, so you can’t see very well. On the rare occasion when the bad lighting brightens up a little
so you might be able to see something, they fog up the scene. The dialog is largely just condescending
explanations for us stupid viewers. The killing is never shown. I’d venture to say that this is the worst
movie panned by the crew yet! Disclaimer.
Synopsis
Short: Commando
Cody starts off about halfway through the previous episode, to save money. He heads back to the ship after beating up
the moon ruler’s guards. He tells his
shipmates about Retik’s (the moon ruler) plan to invade Earth. Cody then devises a brilliant plan to gas
the moon men with nitrous oxide and steal one of their ray guns. Most of the dialog is explaining what
they’re doing. Cody hooks up a pint of
nitrous oxide to gas a 500 square foot room . . . and it works! Almost.
Cody steals the ray gun, but the moon men aren’t adequately gassed so
they fight him. Amazingly, even though
there’s enough gas to make them fall on the floor, after just a couple of puffs
on an oxygen mask, they can fight for 5 minutes, albeit not very well. Cody escapes with the ray gun and meets his
cohort out on the lunar desert. Alas,
the moon men have stolen a plywood carnival ride and chase them around. They hide in a cave too narrow for the moon
men to drive into, so they use their moon car’s ray gun to melt the cave. This causes the rock to melt. The lava rushes toward Cody and his partner
who are trapped in the back of the cave.
To be continued!
Movie: A mad scientist, Dr. Lorenzo Cameron, extracts some
fluid from a very cute dog and puts it into a very ugly Shemp Howard look-alike
(Pedro) who turns into one of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz. Cameron has a long conversation with several
transparent projector-generated guys who appear willy-nilly. This conversation seems to be a reenactment
of an old argument in which his colleagues pooh-poohed Dr. Cameron’s
theories. Now he has succeeded and
wants to tell them, “How do you like me now, transparent old guys?”
Cameron lycanthropically
transmogrifies Pedro (Joel’s words) and lets him wander outside for a
while. Pedro kills a little girl and
comes back home after a while. This
makes Dr. Cameron very happy. He then
invites his detractors, one by one, to observe his scientific
breakthrough. Each time, he manipulates
the circumstances such that the doubting scientists are alone with Pedro when
he turns into an ape, er, dog. Pedro
kills each in turn. The perfect crime. Pedro doesn’t know he did it and Cameron
doesn’t actually do it himself so neither is guilty. He only gets up to 2 kills, though, out of his 4 detractors. A pesky reported figures the whole thing out
right as his daughter realizes what he’s been doing. She inadvertently lets the werewolf into the house and commences
screaming. Lightning starts the set on
fire. The werewolf kills Cameron
finally and the house collapses on them, and the reporter and the daughter
escape.
Host Segments
Segment 1: Invention exchange. Joel invents a purse that, when stolen, it lights on fire. He calls it “hell in a handbag.” The mads invent an acetylene torch Godzilla toy because they’re tired of toy manufacturers playing it safe. No ‘Bots on the SOL for this segment.
Segment 2: Tom flirts with a blender. Tom tells “her” he wants a woman more his speed and notices “she” has 11 of them! Joel walks in and drinks from the blender pitcher and Tom goes crazy. Joel explains that it’s just a blender. Tom sheepishly sneaks off screen and flirts with a coffee maker on the way out.
Segment 3: Tom asks what the wolfman does to his victims. Joel explains that the violence is implied, not like in today’s graphic movies. Crow asks whether the wolfman eats a whole other human being in one meal. Tom wants to know if he becomes a vegetarian will he become the terror of the produce aisle? Tom wants to know what would happen if he ordered a sandwich and it had a hair in it? Finally, the bots want to know if there has ever been a case of an animal turning into a human. Apparently not.
Segment 4: Tom and Crow have their heads switched. Joel says it’s an experiment in transmogrificational lycanthropy, just like in the film. Tom complains that he looks like a freak but Joel says he’s “my little Servo-Crow-ation.” Tom resents being turned into freaks for a pun. Crow says to Tom, “You look like an erector set with a goiter and I’ve got a body dogs can’t resist! During some bickering, Tom and Crow get in sync, recite lots of movie and commercial lines that summarized say, “We’re more powerful than Joel.” Joel turns them off.
Segment 5: Joel asks the ‘Bots to give a good thing and a bad thing about the movie for RAM chips. Tom wants to know whether Pedro would be examined by a coroner or a vet? Crow wants to know whether his tombstone will have his age in human years or dog years. Gypsy explodes into the SOL bridge and hollers “RAM chips!?” in a frightening voice. Crow says it was the feel good movie of 1938 or whenever the heck that thing was made. Tom says he’d give it two thumbs up if he had thumbs. They get into a strange argument about existentialism and since the ‘Bots don’t cooperate, no RAM chips. The mads are grieving because a mad scientist has just died (in the movie).
No stinger.
Funny Riffs
Short
Man: Tell us about their ray guns.
Crow: Ron and Nancy?
Cody hooks up nitrous oxide to the air intake.
Tom: What’s he gonna do, anyway? Take out their fillings and serve them really cold drinks?
The moon men have melted the rocks and the cave is filling up with lava. The lava is rushing toward Cody, et al.
Joel: What would you do now, Crow?
Crow: Panic.
Joel: Tom?
Tom: Same.
As the dopey guy turns slowly into a wolf-man, he grows hair mainly around his chin.
Tom: He’s turned him into Abe Lincoln!
Dr. Cameron: You are also one of those stupid fools who raised their voices against me.
Tom: Joel, he’s talking about us.
Dr. Cameron: Men who are governed by one collective thought, animal lust to kill without regard to personal safety.
Joel and ‘Bots together: Republicans?!
After observing the Pedro-turned-wolfman for a while, the scientist gives a huge smile of satisfaction.
Tom: That felt good! Now I’m going to turn my daughter into a woodchuck.
A little girl with curly hair is playing in her room. The wolfman sticks his head in the window.
Tom as Wolfman: I’ll have a Shirley Temple to go, please.
Later the wolfman is staggering and rubs his forehead.
Tom as Wolfman: Whoa. I better cut down on those Shirley Temples.
Pedro walks in and sits down.
Dr. Cameron: My guinea pig.
Tom as sane scientist: So what, you made a big dumb guy.
Sane scientist: Mingling the blood of man and beast is downright sacrilege.
Joel: Tell that to the NFL.
Joel: What’s the SPCA?
Tom: Society for the prevention of cruelty to actors.
Dr Fitzgerald comes to Dr. Cameron’s house. Cameron takes him into his lab. Fitzgerald looks around the lab.
Fitzgerald: You seem to be excellently equipped.
Tom as Cameron: Thank you! I didn’t think you could tell through these trousers.
Tom: They’re all in shock. They’ve never been in such a bad film.
Crow: Hey, what’s wolfman doing down in the wine cellar?
Joel: Trying to figure out what kind of wine goes with people, I guess.
Lightning starts a fire in the living room.
Crow: Hey, how much more of this film is there?
Joel: Well, you can tell right now they’re burning the main set, so it should be just a few more minutes, Crow.
The werewolf is a dapper dresser.
Crow: I like that the wolfman is able to keep his sport coat buttoned through all of this.