Welcome my dear friends, I am Doctor Xenon of the Austrian Space Institute in Vienna. I have constructed this website to alert the world to the astonishing facts concerning the well-known American comedian Conan O'Brien. This information was to me provided by certain highly informed sources deep inside the extra-terrestrial intelligence community of the European Union, particularly Austria and France. These courageous individuals have secretly come forward anonymously so that the world may have the facts concering Conan O'Brien and judge for itself whether it is right for SPACE ALIENS to wield so much power in human affairs.

Many people will object that Conan O'Brien is not a SPACE ALIEN. However, this is incorrect. The following evidence will clearly demonstrate that Conan O'Brien is, in fact, a SPACE ALIEN.

1. First we must consider scientifically the astonishing similarities between the well-know 'Martain Face' and the face of Conan O'Brien.

Look at this image of the 'Martian Face'.

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It is difficult to discern fine details in this image, which was after all beamed across billions of miles of space to reach our eyes from the surface of Mars. However, some simple image enhancing techniques can be used to bring out the details of this megalithic monument.

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In the above photograph I have only re-oriented the image and enhanced the contrast to make clear what is being seen.

Now compare the above image to a recent photograph of the comedian Conan O'Brien.

  
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Clearly, the two faces are very similar.

Therefore, since we know that no human beings have been to Mars, and since we also know that the 'Martian Face' was construced by SOMEONE, then it is obvious that the face was built by aliens. Now, we may take this fact and add to it the obvious similarity between the face on Mars and the face on Conan O'Brien. It is clear that the face on Conan O'Brien comes from the same species as the face on Mars, and we know that this face was constructed by aliens. Therefore, the conclusion is inescapable that Conan O'Brien is an alien.

Furthermore, we know that Mars is referred to as the 'Red Planet' because everything there is red. Likewise, Conan O'Brien is referred to within the EU intelligence community as the 'Red Comedian' because of the bizarre red touppee that he wears, and also for his radical Stalinist political beliefs. This red touppee, and the man's affectation of Stalinism are subtle signals to those with inside information that Conan O'Brien is 'down with the big red', as the aliens say, referring to their homeland on Mars.

2. As we all know, the famous author Whitley Streiber revealed in his autobiography that the aliens who have been haunting him for his entire life are actually super-intelligent Irish alien people from the future who have lost the capacity to understand our primitive society and emotions. He describes the aliens as being extremely thin, with very pale skin, and with large, dark, bulging eyes, and big, hairless heads.

In the following two images there is only one small difference, but it is crucial. The first image depicts Conan O'Brien as his viewers know him from his television program. Note the bizarre touppee that he wears whenever he is seen in public. The testimony of a frightened insider opened up a secret world to me, which I now share with the reader. The second image is identical to the first except that I have covered Mr. O'Brien's touppee with a black box. The differences are now immediately obvious. You can see that Conan O'Brien has pale skin and large dark eyes, just likes the aliens descrbied in Streiber's book. I can now reveal to the world for the first time that Conan O'Brien's bizarre touppee is actually a multi-dimensional, computerized alien camoflage device which allows O'Brien to mingle with decent EARTH HUMANS undetected.

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So clearly, this photographic evidence alone should be enough to convince even the most sceptical that Conan O'Brien is indeed a SPACE ALIEN.

But if this is still not enough, look at the other evidence such as we can derive from Strieber's book. As with Strieber's aliens, O'Brien is Irish. As with his aliens, O'Brien is super-intelligent. BUT, also as with Streiber's aliens, Conan O'Brien has a shocking incapacity to understand our emotions and our society. Many secret informants have imparted to me heart-rending stories of O'Brien's seemingly casual emotional cruelty and his otherwise inexplicable contempt for the rules of society. Clearly, these deplorable events in his life are the result of his ALIEN HERITAGE.

3. Furthermore, if all of this evidence is still not enough, I can now offer to the reader decisive proof gained from recently declassified Soviet-era KGB files.

For example, examine the document below. It clearly states that Conan O'Brien is a SPACE ALIEN.

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I have literally hundreds of such documents that have been given to me by concerned agents of the former-Soviet Union, whose only wish is that the truth be known.

Here is another file from the KGB, which provides yet more definitive and incontrovertible proof that Conan O'Brien is a SPACE ALIEN. This photograph was taken by the East German Stasi of a UFO flying over Berlin in 1988. Recent improvements in photographical enhancement have allowed us to peer into the windows of the alien vessel. Imagine the shock which was experienced by intellgience personnel when they saw the face of Conan O'Brien staring back at them from this clearly other-worldly craft! Also notice in this picture that we have a rare glimpse of the Conan O'Brien's tentacles, which are apparently touching the porthole for some reason. We know that human beings do not have such tentactles, therefore the fact that Conan O'Brien has tentacles instead of hands clearly demonstrates that he is a SPACE ALIEN.

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In fact, it seems fair to refer to Mr. Conan O'Brien as Mr. Conan UFO'Brien!

What else are you hiding Mr. UFO'Brien? The human race deserves to know!

So now we come to the most vital question: Is Conan O'Brien a benevolent 'space brother' or a cannibalistic 'space mutant'?!

You decide!

FACT- Conan O'Brien's former sidekick Andy Richter- a known EARTH HUMAN BEING- has not been seen for YEARS. Yet Conan O'Brien continues to broadcast his television program as if nothing had happened. Where is Andy Richter Mr. UFO'Brien?

FACT- Conan O'Brien is often seen lurking in morgues and graveyards. WHY? What is he doing there?

FACT- Conan O'Brien has a different audience for his television program each and every night. What happenes to all the people from the previous episode? Even the police do not know. I have called the New York City Police Department personally and they informed me that they are unaware of the current locations of ANY of Conan O'Brien's former audience members. Isn't this an amazing coincidence? WHERE are they Mr. UFO'Brien?

FACT- Conan O'Brien often brags in private that he loves female flesh and has it all the time! This is an obvious confession! And yet M.r UFO'Brien still walks the street a free 'man'.

The evidence is clear readers. Now you can decide for yourself that Conan O'Brien is not only a SPACE ALIEN, but a canibalistic 'space mutant'. Your duty to the EARTH HUMAN BEING's is clear.