| Top Ten Things That I Now Appreciate About America In the summer of 1999 I visited Spain and Italy for 15 days, and I had a wonderful time. There are, however, a number of things that I came to appreciate about America while I was in Europe. These are the top ten: 10. STOPLIGHTS�especially in Rome, stoplights are scarce and you often have to make a mad dash across a wide square beating the drivers who refuse to slow at all for pedestrians. 9. MONEY�thousands and thousands of pesetas and lire doesn�t buy much, and you tend to treat it like Monopoly money. 8. CARS�every car in Europe is the size of a washing machine. 7. POLICE�sure our police can be rude and corrupt, but the Guardia Civil (Spain) and the Carabinieri (Italy) look like they might shoot you on a whim. 6. SIESTA�just try finding a store open between 2 pm and 4 pm in Italy or Spain. All you see are foolish Americans wandering around in the midday heat. 5. TELEVISION�when you are used to 50 or 100 channels, a half dozen doesn�t cut it. 4. MUSIC�bad American music and cheesy local pop is all there is. 3. SHOWERS�the nozzle is always on the wrong side of the tub (the long side) and usually does not have a clip to keep it up. 2. DRIVING�Italian drivers are completely insane, passing anywhere, whipping around blind corners on narrow streets, and those annoying scooters are everywhere. And finally� the number 1 thing that I now appreciate about America: TWO WORDS: TOILET SEATS. |