| Alone with the phone (June 3, 2007) Alone with the phone in my hand awaiting the tone that says that someone wants to talk to me. The night air and the whooshing of cars come to me through open windows, and the humidity sits on everything. The cell doesn�t speak, so I wait, fending off sleep until fatigue passes and I am fully awake, staring in the darkness at nothing, repeatedly checking the phone and the time, sighing the minutes away. I know who is speaking to whom, and I know that I have now been relegated to a lower spot in the batting order, a less central place in my loved one�s heart. I understand that this should not hurt as much as it does and that I should let it go and move forward, but what we know and what we do are often not the same. |