Jimbo Opens Beer Armory
J
imbo officially declared his new beer armory open yesterday. The armory produces weapons that Jimbo and his legions use to defend the beer shack against enemies such as Brain the Destroyer.Jimbo was proud to show some of his weapons to an estimated crowd of 3 people. His display included various types of beer swords, including the deadly Drunken Rampage Beer Sword; a beer can flame wall; beer bombs; a beer cannon; and a giant rolling beer can.
After displaying the weapons, Jimbo held battles using the weapons for the crowd to engage in. Two of the three people in attendance were killed in the fights. "Sixty-seven percent casualties isn�t bad," said Jimbo. "We�ve lost up to ninety-eight percent of the crowds at some events I�ve held."
Jimbo indicated that he plans to go on a drunken rampage sometime next week. "I�m very anxious to try out the Drunken Rampage Beer Sword," he said. "I need to get angry first, though. Foul-smelling wads of string always make me angry. Maybe someone will put one on my shoulder."
Jimbo has hired six new workers to run the armory. By working in the armory for three years, they will earn the right to return to their home countries. "I find that indentured servants are perfect for this work," said Jimbo. "Their weapons always come out sharper because they�re so angry about having to work for no monetary compensation."
Drunken Rampage Beer Sword
