'Hello Sarge, how was the holiday?' she asked
'It was brilliant, something I really needed' June smiled
'Well you are looking brilliant'
'Thanks, it was really relaxing, it gave me time to think things through'
'About Jim?'
'Yes'
'And?'
'Oh I can't keep it to myself any longer' June beamed
'What, what is it?'
'I wasn't going to say anything until I had told Jim but'
'What is it June?'
'I am pregnant Pol'
Polly looked shocked 'Pregnant?'
'Yes, I know it was a shock to me too, but I have had time to think about it and I can't believe it, it's wonderful'
'Oh June congratulations' Polly said as she hugged her
'I mean it is risky at my age but I don't care all I want now is to have mine and Jim's baby, where is he anyway?' June asked
'Um, June' Polly started 'You and Jim, you are separated right?'
'Yes but I realised while I was away how much I love him Pol, I want him back'
'Ah'
'What?'
'June I think you had better sit down'
'Why?'
'Please just sit down' Polly insisted
June did as she said
'June I am sorry that I am the one to tell you this but��'
As Polly was about to continue Gina walked in
'Ah June your back, good news about Jim isn't it. I hope you don't feel to bad, I mean you were older than him, he must have just realised that he wanted someone younger'
June looked confused 'Ma'am?'
'Oh sorry June didn't you know, Jim's getting married' Gina smiled as she left the room
June sat there shocked with tears filling up in her eyes 'Married?'
'I am so sorry June' Polly said comforting her
'Who is he marrying?' she asked
'Marie Graham'
'Sonia Graham's mother?'
'Yes'
'Oh I see' June cried 'I thought he loved me'
'I think he does' Polly replied
'He is marrying someone else Pol, of course he doesn't love me' she sobbed 'Oh look at me, I have been back five minutes and I am already crying'
'June I am sorry you found out the way you did'
'I bet Gina couldn't wait to tell me, what a fool I have been'
'No, no June you are not a fool, you just fell in love that's all'
'How can he marry some woman he has only known 4 weeks, when I asked him he said no, what's wrong with me?' June sobbed
'You asked Jim to marry you?'
'Yes, Polly I love him so much, all I want is to be with him'
'Oh June. What are you going to do about the baby?' Polly asked
'I was going to tell him but now I don't want him to know. Pol you won't say anything will you'
'June do you think that is a good idea keeping this from him. He is the father after all?'
'Pol I can't handle all this right now, with Matt dead, Jim marrying someone else, I need time to think please don't say anything to anyone' June begged
'Ok but promise me one thing'
'What?'
'If you ever want to talk you come to me right'
'Ok, thanks Pol' June said as she wiped her eyes 'Right I had better get started, look at all these cases'
'are you sure your alright?'
'I am fine, really.' June said as she went o her desk and started work
1 hour later
Jim arrived in CSU 'Sarge your back?' Jim said looking shocked
'That's right? I here congratulations are in order'
'How do you know?' Jim asked
'Gina was only to happy to tell me'
'I am sorry June I...'
'Jim I don't have time for this now, you have made your feelings perfectly clear.�� June said as she grabbed her coat and left CSU.
'June' he called after her but she ignored him and continued to walk down the corridor
'She hate's me' Jim said putting his head in his hands
'Well what do you expect?' Cathy replied 'she goes on a months cruise and when she comes back her former lover is getting married, how would you feel. I mean come on Jim you wasted no time in jumping into bed with someone else, you and June had only split up about 2 weeks'
'I didn't plan this'
'Maybe not but you can't expect June to be happy for you, she still has feelings for you' Polly added
Jim said nothing he just walked over to his desk, sat down and looked out of the window. He watched June walk to her car, she was just about to get in when Tony ran over to her and hugged her. She looked as though she was crying, his heart pounded, he couldn't bear to watch the pain she was going through because of him. What have I done? He said to himself. What have you done?
Meanwhile in the car park Tony was comforting June when Jack walked over 'June, everything alright?' he asked
'Um yes sir, I was just about to go out she replied as she let go of Tony
'I expect you have heard about Jim, I am so sorry June, if you ever want to talk you know where I am'
'Thanks sir'
'Are you going tonight?' Tony asked
Going where?'
'To the engagement party?'
'Oh I don't think so'
'Oh go on June, even if it is just to prove a point. You can come with me if you don't want to g alone' Jack smiled
'Thanks sir that would be nice'
'And I'll be there too' Tony added
'Thank you'
'Right well I will pick you up at 7' Jack said
'That would be great'
Jack smiled and walked off with Tony as June got into her car and drove off.
7 o clock
June answered the door, she was wearing a lovely black dress 'You look lovely' Jack smiled
'You don't look to bad yourself sir'
'Please June call me Jack' he laughed 'Ok shall we go'
Jack opened the door of the taxi for June and they set off.
They arrived at the Party and found Polly and Tony waiting for them
'Oh June you look lovely' Polly said
'You do too' June smiled
'Right shall we go in' Tony asked
'Ok, lets go' June replied
They all walked in to a packed pub, June glanced around looking for Jim. She found him by the bar and Marie was there too draped all over him. Tony could see June getting upset and whisked her off to a cubicle to sit down
'Right what are we all drinking?' Tony asked
'White wine please Tone' Polly said
'I'll have a pint' Jack added
'June?'
'Oh just an orange juice please'
'Orange juice? Oh come on June how about something stronger?' Tony said
'No an orange juice will be fine'
'Ok if that's what you want'
Tony walked of to the bar and Jack went to talk to Debbie, leaving Polly and June to talk
'Are you alright?' Polly asked
'I don't think I should have come Pol, I am trying to put a brave face on it but it's hard. I had it all planned out you know, I was going to come back tell him how I felt and then tell him about the baby. He would have been thrilled I know he would'
'He still will be June if you tell him'
'I can't Pol, he looks so happy, I don't want to spoil it'
'well what are you going to do?'
'I don't know yet. All I do know is that I want this baby more than anything'
'Baby? What's all this? Is there something you want to tell us Polly?' Des smiled
'Big ears!' Polly laughed
'well?' Des continued
'No Des, Polly isn't pregnant I am' June blurted out
'You?'
'I know what your thinking, I am too old but��'
'No I wasn't thinking that, is it Jim's? Does he know?'
'Of course it's Jim's what do you think I am?' June snapped
'Sorry I didn't mean, I...'
'No I am sorry I shouldn't be taking it out on you. Look Des, Jim doesn't know and I want to keep it that way, ok'
'But...'
'Des, please, it's what June wants'
'Ok my lips are sealed. Well congratulations' Des said as he kissed her cheek and then left
'Do you think you can trust him?' Polly asked
'I think so, there is more to Des than he lets on, he is a very caring bloke'
'Who Des?'
'Yes Des!�� June laughed
'Oh that's better' Tony said as he returned 'It's nice to see you smiling again'
June smiled and Tony sat beside her.
For the rest of the night they talked.
It came to the last dance of the evening; Jim and Marie took centre stage. 'June, would you like to do me the honour?' Tony asked giving her his arm
'Tony, I wouldn't be much company sorry, I am sure Polly would be pleased to though'
'Yeah sure' Polly replied
Everyone was dancing now except, June, Jack and Gina. Jack was talking to Gina and June watched the dance floor, tears flowed down her cheeks as she watched Marie and Jim dancing closely together, she wished it was her there not Marie. She wiped away the tears and tried to control them but when she looked up again she saw Marie kissing Jim, this was the final straw, she got up and ran out of the pub. Jim couldn't help but see her, he felt guilty and all he wanted to do was run after her and make her feel better but he couldn't. Jack had also watched June��s rapid departure, he went to the bar and ordered her a drink, then he went looking for her.
He found her sitting on a picnic table sobbing
'Here I thought you could do with this' Jack said handing her a brandy 'Are you alright?'
'Yes I just, seeing them kissing was too much'
'ok, drink this'
'no no I can't'
'Why on earth not?'
'I... I am pregnant Jack' she sobbed
'Oh June' Jack replied gathering her into his arms 'Does Jim know?'
'No and that's the way I want it kept although I am not helping myself I have already told three people'
'who else knows?'
'Polly, Des and you'
Well I��m sure they won't say anything and I definitely won't'
'Thank you'
'What are you going to do?'
'I am keeping it, to be honest I have never wanted kids but when I found out I was shocked at first but then I was so happy. I was so happy to be having Jim's baby'
'And now?'
'I want it more than anything, it's the only thing I have left of Jim, I have lost him but I don't want to lose our baby too'
'Oh June I am glad you told me'
'I would have had to eventually' June smiled as she rubbed her stomach
'Yes I suppose so' Jack laughed ' Come on lets get you home' he continued
The next day
June was in CSU working when Jim arrived 'Morning Sarge' he said
'Morning Jim'
Jim tried to think of something to say but he was lost for words
'Did you want something Jim?' June asked
'No' he replied as he went and sat down.
'Right Danny, come on we've got a job, racial attack on a 7 year old boy' June ordered
'Sarge can someone else go please, I am really busy, Jim's free'
'Danny who runs this CSU? Now I have given you an order could you please follow it' June snapped
Danny walked off huffing and June followed
'Oh someone got out of the wrong side of the bed' Cathy giggled
'It's not funny Cathy' Polly snapped
'I was only saying��'
'Yeah well don't' Jim shouted 'Don't speak about June like that'
'What��s it to you how I speak about sergeant Ackland, it's not like you care you dumped her remember'
'Oh just shut up' he snapped before walking out.
Meanwhile Danny and June had arrived at the boys house 'Sorry about earlier Danny' June said
'It's alright' he replied as he knocked on the doorDes answered 'Oh good you have arrived'
June and Danny entered the house 'So what have we got Des?' June asked
'This is 7 year old Harry, he was outside playing when a gang of youths jumped him and called him names to do with his colour Sarge'
'Ok, hello Harry, my name is June, could you tell me what happened?'
'It's obvious what happened' Harry's mother said
'Please Mrs Beckley, I need Harry to tell me' June replied
'Now Harry will you tell me what happened'
Harry nodded
'Ok, where were you playing Harry'
'Outside in the park' the little frightened voice replied
'Ok, who were you playing with?'
'Jack'
'He's Harry's brother' Mrs Beckley added
'Right so you and Jack were playing and then what happened?'
'Big boys came' he sobbed
'It's aright, take your time' June said placing a hand on his back to comfort him
'They called me names'
'Do you know what they called you?'
'No' he sobbed
'Mrs Beckley how old is Jack?' Danny asked
'He��s 13, he heard them shout 'get back to your own country you nigger'
'Ok, is that right Harry' June asked
Harry nodded
'Then they hit you?'
'Yes' he cried
'Do you know how many?'
'No'
'Ok, well done Harry you are a brave little boy'
As June got up there was a loud bang on the door and what sounded like a large gang were shouting abuse through the letter box. Mrs Beckley ran to the window shouting while Harry grabbed hold of June. This took her by surprise but she hugged him and tried to reassure him. Des and Reg ran out the front, trying to stop the boys from getting in the house but there were too many of them. Reg ran after two of them down the staircase and Des followed another two down the other staircase. Danny tried to stop the others. Two lads manage to pass Danny and entered the house.
June moved in front of Harry protectively 'Mrs Beckley get out of here' June ordered
Mrs Beckley did as June said reluctantly
'Harry don't be scared she whispered as he clung to her. 'Harry I want you to do something for me ok'
'Ok' he whispered
'Good boy, I want you to go and sit in the corner behind the chair ok'
'Ok'
'Go on go now'
Harry walked slowly towards the chair and sat down. You could only see his eyes peeping over the top of the chair. 'Good boy Harry now stay there' June continued
'What are you doing copper? He's not one of us, why are you protecting him?' the one lad said as he approached June
'This family is no different to any of us, they may have a different colour skin but that doesn't mean anything'
'They are black, why don't they go back to where they come from?'
'They are Nigerian and they live here'
'They have no right'
'They have every right. Does beating up and scaring a 7 year old boy make you feel good, does it change anything?'
'It makes me feel better, now get out of my way'
'No'
'I said get out of my way'
��And I said NO!' she shouted
Danny ran in an jumped on one of the lads, the other ran towards June and punched her in the stomach. June cried out in pain and held her stomach, her first thought was the baby then she saw the lad going to grab Harry, she ran over and pushed the lad out of the way and stood in front of Harry. The lad slapped her and she hit her head on the wall, she slid down the wall next to Harry. She held her stomach and her head was bleeding.
Des ran in and arrested the lad. Des handed the lad over to Reg and immediately turned his attention to June 'Sarge? Are you alright?'
'I am fine, just a knock'
Harry grabbed hold of her and she hugged him
'Hey mate, are you alright?' Des asked
Harry nodded 'He's fine, he's a brave boy' June said
Harry smiled and then his mother ran in and hugged him.
'Thank you' Mrs Beckley said 'Thank you so much'
'My pleasure, you have one sweet kid there' June smiled
'I know'
'Right come on Sarge lets get you to the station and get you checked out'
June stood up and felt a sharp pain in her stomach, she tried her best to hide the pain 'Excuse me would you mind if I used your toilet' June asked
'Of course not, up the stairs, first on the left' Mrs Beckley replied
June went to the toilet and her worst fears had come true she was bleeding heavily and her stomach was hurting 'Argh!' she shouted
'What was that?' Danny asked
'Sounded like June' Reg added
Des looked concerned 'I will go and see' he said
Des ran up the stairs and found June crying 'Sarge what is it?'
'Des it's the baby, I think I am losing the baby, I��m bleeding'
'Oh god no, come on lets get you to hospital'
'No, I don't want anyone to know'
'Ok leave it to me' Des said as he ran down the stairs 'The Sarge is feeling a bit sore so I a going to take her to the hospital, Reg you go with Danny and I will come back to the station later'
'Ok, is she alright?'
'Yes she'll be fine, now go on?' Des said eagerly
Reg and Danny left with the lad. All the other lads had been put in the back of the police van. 'Excuse me officer' Mrs Beckley said
'Yes'
'What is wrong with your sergeant?'
'Um�� nothing.'
He was interrupted by June who had managed to come down the stairs holding her stomach.
'Come on' Des said as he picked June up and put her into the car.
Des put the blue lights on and sped off.
They arrived at the hospital and June was rushed up to maternity. Des waited in the waiting room for news. About half hour later the nurse appeared and told him he could see her. He walked into a small side room, June lay there staring into space her eyes all red from crying, she looked terrible
'Sarge?' Des whispered
She didn't reply 'Sarge shall I call Jim?'
'No' she immediately replied 'No please' she broke down and cried
'Ok, it's not good news is it?'
'No Des, I have lost the baby' she sobbed
Des instinctively walked over and hugged her 'I am so sorry Sarge, is there anyone I can call for you'
'Could you tell DCI Meadows and Polly please but no one else. If anyone else asks I have gone home.'
'Ok' Des replied 'I will come back later'
'Thank you Des' she managed to say before crying again. She turned over and sobbed into her pillow. Des had never seen his Sarge like this before so vulnerable, so upset. This baby had meant the world to her and now, how cruel life can be he thought.
Des arrived back at the station; first he caught up with Danny and Reg and told them June was fine, just a few bruises, nothing to worry about. Then he went and found Polly and asked her to join him in DCI Meadows office.
'Sir, Polly, today we were at a shout and a gang of youths attacked the victim, they also punched Sgt Ackland'
Polly gasped 'Is she alright?' Jack asked
'She seemed fine but then she went to the toilet and she found that she was bleeding, I rushed her to hospital but it was to late, she had already lost the baby'
'Oh no' Polly replied 'Poor June'
'Oh hasn't that woman been through enough' Jack added
'She asked me to tell you but she doesn't want anyone else to know, as far as everyone else is concerned she is at home with a few bruises'
'Ok' Jack replied'Sir can I have permission to leave and go and see her' Polly asked
'Of course Pol, I will come with you' Jack said
'I must warn you she is in a bad way' Des started 'When I went in she was staring at the wall, she looked so lost, then when I left she was sobbing her heart out into the pillow'
'Oh why did this have to happen, she really wanted this baby' Polly said
'I know she was only saying last night that this was the only thing she had left of Jim's' Jack added ''Right come on lets go. Des carry on as normal please'
'Yes sir'
'Thank you'
Jack and Polly left and Des went and found Reg.
Jack and Polly arrived at the hospital and they were showed to June's room. Polly opened the door and ran over to June and hugged her, June sobbed into her shoulder 'Oh June I am so sorry' Polly cried
'Why me Pol, why me?'
'I don't know'
'I obviously don't deserve happiness' she sobbed
'Don't be silly June' Jack said
'Well first I lose Jim and now my�� mine and Jim's baby'
'June this isn't your fault' Jack said
'It is'
'No you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time'
'Maybe it's for the best, I would have been a crap mother anyway'
'No you would have been great June' Polly cried
'Yeah Danny told me you got on really well with that kid'
June just sobbed 'It's not fair' she shouted
'June do you think you should tell Jim?' Polly asked
'No, why, what's the point, there is no baby anymore so there is nothing to tell' she sobbed
'He would want to know, he would want to be here for you'
'What feel sorry for me, no I don't want that' June screamed
'Ok, but I think he has a right to know'
'I said NO!' she shouted as she pushed everything off the top of her bedside cabinet in anger. 'I think you should go' June said
'No we can't leave you like this' Polly replied
'Please just GO!! I want to be alone'
'Pol come on, let her calm down' Jack said opening the door
'Ok but I will be back June' Polly cried as she left the room.
Jack shut the door 'Oh sir I have never seen her like this before, she is so angry, so upset.' Polly sobbed
'I know, she has taken it hard and she is shutting everyone out. All we can do is be here for her when she needs us'
'I am going to stay here sir, make sure she is alright''She probably won't see you again today Pol its probably best if you go home get some rest and come back tomorrow'
'No I am going to stay'
'Ok if you are sure'
'I am'
Jack left Polly in the waiting room. He had gone back to work.
Meanwhile June sat on the floor sobbing and cuddling a small brown bear that she had bought for the baby.
6 O Clock
It was the end of he shift and Des walked into the locker room and found Jim sitting on one of the benches. 'What's up mate?' Des asked
'I was just thinking'
'About Marie?'
'No, well yes and no. I don't know if I am doing the right thing Des. I thought I was until I saw June yesterday.'
'Are you saying you still have feelings for June?' Des asked looking shocked
'I still love her' Jim replied
'But I thought��'
'I am fond of Marie and in a funny way I do love her but I am not in love with her' Jim said 'I think I just went for the ready-made family. I thought that was what I wanted, a wife, kids'
'And now you don't?'
'No' Jim replied ' Don't get me wrong I would love to be a dad but I know that is unlikely now so I would just be happy with��'
'June?' Des chipped in
'Yes, I love her so much. At the party last night all I could think of was her, so it's not fair on Marie is it'
'No'
'But June isn't even talking to me, she has managed to avoid me all day, she won't talk to me, work with me. Today she didn't even come back to work, oh Des what have I done to her' he said wiping away a tear.
'Look Jim, I have to tell you something I think you have a right to know'
'What?' Jim asked
'At the party last night I spoke to June and she told me that she was��'
Before Des could carry on he was interrupted by Jack 'Des can I have a word?'
'Des what do I have a right to know?' Jim asked
'You were about to tell him weren't you?' Jack said
'Tell me what?' Jim shouted 'What is it that everyone else knows apart from me?'
'Sir I thought he deserved to know' Des added
'Tell me' Jim begged
'June doesn't want him to know''But I think she needs him sir'
'What has happened to June, why would she need me?' Jim demanded an answer
'She is pregnant' Des blurted out
'Nice one Des' Jack shouted
'Pregnant, why didn't she tell me?' Jim said as he sat down 'That's wonderful news' he smiled
'Ah, no Jim what I should have said is she was pregnant' Des continued
'What I am confused, she hasn't had an abortion has she, oh no please'
'No Jim, June was at a shout earlier on today and she got punched, she was rushed to hospital but she lost the baby, I am so sorry' Jack said
Jim put his head in his hands 'She has lost the baby?'
'Yes'
'Is she alright?' Jim asked looking concerned
'She hasn't taken it well as you can imagine'
'Was she going to keep it?'
'Oh yes, she wanted that baby, she was overjoyed about it. She said it was the only thing she had left of you' Jack said softly with a lump in his throat
Jim wiped his damp eyes 'Why didn't she tell me, she knew I would have been there for her'
'I think she was scared and she didn't want to disrupt your happiness with Marie'
'But I would have been happy about they baby'
'I know and she knows but she just couldn't tell you'
'Where is she now?' Jim asked
'St Hughs, maternity ward. Polly is still there but she isn't with June. June got upset and angry and told us to leave after throwing things on the floor. She is very angry Jim'
'I have to see her' Jim protested
'What about Marie, she is waiting for you in reception' Jack said
'June is more important now'
Jim wiped his eyes and walked to the door 'Take it easy with June, Jim' Jack said 'Don't be angry with her, she was just upset about you and Marie, she had planned to tell you when she got back until she found out about you and Marie'
'Don't worry sir, I am not angry with her, I love her, I just want to be with her, help her... help us through this, I have lost a baby too you know'
'I know'
Jim walked out wiping his eyes, he walked to reception 'Jim there you are' Marie smiled looking at him 'darling what's wrong?'
'Nothing I just need to go and see a colleague, I will be back later if that's ok'
'Alright, are you sure your ok?'
'I am fine' Jim replied as he kissed her 'I'll see you later
Jim got into his car and drove off.
Jim arrived at the hospital and found Polly by the coffee machine 'Jim what are you doing here?' Polly said looking surprised'Des and Jack told me, I know everything'
'Oh Jim I am so sorry' she said as she hugged him and he cried on her shoulder 'How is she?'
'She's sleeping now, she's exhausted' Polly said 'She is very angry Jim'
'I should have been here' he cried as he looked through the window into Junes room 'She's so pale' Jim said
Jim watched June sleep, her eyes were red and she was cuddling the bear
'She hasn't let that bear go, she bought it on holiday for the baby' Polly sobbed 'Oh I am sorry look at me I am supposed to be here for support and look at me'
'You are doing fine' Jim replied 'I am going to sit with her'
'Do you think that's a good idea Jim?' Polly asked
'I want to be with her'
'Ok'
Jim opened the door quietly and sat next to her bed watching her sleep.
2 hours later
June woke up, she looked over at the chair and was shocked to see Jim sitting there 'June' Jim said looking concerned. June ignored him and turned over so that her back was facing him.
'June please' Jim pleaded 'June I want to help you'
June closed her eyes and cried quietly into the pillow. 'June I know I have hurt you and I am really sorry for that, but I do still love you and I can't bear to see you like his. You should have told me June, I would have been there for you, it would have changed everything'
June felt her anger rise once again, she sat up and exploded 'You mean you would have left Marie to be with me and the baby'
'Yes'
'Why you don't love me so you would have been living a lie, that would have been nice wouldn't it' she cried
'No June it wouldn't have been like that, I do love you'
'You don't know what love is, if you did you wouldn't have done this to me and you wouldn't be doing this to Marie, look at you - you don't know what you want' she hissed 'Your pathetic, just get out'
'No I am not going anywhere, I love you and I want to help you, help us get through this'
'Us' June laughed 'There is no US' she screamed
'I have lost a baby too June, it was our baby' Jim sobbed
'No, no it wasn't , it was mine, it was my baby, it had nothing to do with you'
'June please don't say that' he broke down 'Please, the baby was part of both of us, we need to support each other through this'
'No I said no' June shouted 'I don't need support from you, just get out, GET OUT' she screamed as she threw a vase towards him 'Get out' she sobbed as she collapsed onto the bed 'Get out'
Jim's face was full of tears, he reluctantly walked to the door and shut it leaving June sobbing her heart out.
Polly ran up to him. 'Jim' Polly said
'She hates me' he sobbed
'No she doesn't she is just angry'
'You should have heard her Pol; she said the baby wasn't mine, it was hers. But it was mine too Pol, it was part of me too, I need her, I need her' Jim fell to the floor crying
'Come on Jim, give her time she is upset, she doesn't mean what she said'
'I think she did and she's right I am pathetic'
'Jim let's get you home to Marie'
'I don't know if I can, I want to be with June' Jim cried
'Jim, I would leave June be for now and you shouldn't be alone tonight. Go home to Marie, I mean you are getting married next week, go home and be with her'
Jim got up with the help from Polly and walked slowly out of the hospital to Polly's car.
The next day Jim arrived at the station and was greeted by Jack 'How is June?
'I don't know Jack, she won't let me near her' Jim replied looking upset
'Give her time'
'She hates me'
'No she doesn't she loves you'
'She has a funny way of showing it'
'This is June's way of dealing with it'
'I need her sir, I need her to let me in to be there for her'
'She will in time, look I am going to see her now, I will try and talk to her'
'Thanks'
'How are you, you don't look like you had much sleep' Jack said
'I didn't. I am worried about her sir, I have never seen her like this and not only that Marie has brought the wedding forward it is in two days time'
'What?' Jack said looking shocked 'Isn't this a bit rushed, I mean your engagement party was only a few days ago'
'I know but there was a cancellation and Marie doesn't see the point in waiting'
'And what about you? How do you feel?' Jack asked
'I am confused'
'Are you going to go through with it?'
'Yes, I have screwed up with June, this is my last chance'
'June is going to need you eventually Jim'
'No she won't she is strong; she doesn't want to know me. Me marrying Marie is for the best'
'If that's what you think' Jack replied
'It is'
'Does Marie know about June and they baby?'
'No'
'Well don't you think you should?'
'No, there is no point in upsetting her aswell'
'Jim you have lost a baby too, you are going to need support, I think you should tell her''No I am alright honestly, I know what I am doing'
'Ok'
Jack patted him on the back and walked off
Jack arrived at the hospital and stopped to talk to Polly
'Sir, oh am I glad to see you' Polly smiled
'Why? What's wrong? How is June?' Jack asked 'Jim said she was in a terrible state'
'But that's it sir, she has gone into denial now, she has packed her things and is discharging herself. She is pretending none of this has happened, she is even talking about going back to work'
'Oh no' Jack replied looking concerned
Jack turned and saw June walking towards him 'June, June what are you doing?'
'I am leaving, there is no need for me to be here'
'June, look I know you have had a shock but I really think you should stay in until the doctor says you can go home'
'No, I want to go home'
'What about counselling?'
'I don't need counselling, now are you going to take me home or shall I get a taxi'
'I will take you' Polly said
'Thank you'
'June, please think about the counselling, you have been through a lot'
'Was it you that told Jim sir?' June asked
'Well sort of, Des thought he should know'
'But I said I didn't want him to know, remind me never to tell anyone one my secrets again'
'Oh June please, Jim wants to help you
'I don't need his or anyone else��s help. All I want to do is go home to drop off my belongings and then get back to work'
'Oh no you are not coming back to work'
'Yes I am, I need to'
'June please' Jack pleaded
'Look sir, I know you are only trying to look out for me, do what's best but honestly I am fine and I want to go back to work'
'Ok' Jack reluctantly agreed 'But June light duties only'
'Thanks sir'
'June there's one more thing, I think you should know'
'What?'
'Jim and Marie have brought the wedding forward it is in two days'
'So much for him caring' June snapped 'Oh well good for them, I take it we will all have time off to attend'
'You want to go to the wedding?' Polly gasped
'Why not?' I am happy for them' she replied as she walked off. She tried to hold back the tears; she was putting a brave face on it. Really she felt like her body had been punched once again.
'She doesn't mean that' Polly said 'She is hiding from her feelings''I know, look Pol keep an eye on her at work today'
'Alright'
3 hours later
June had arrived at the station with Polly, she could feel everyone staring at her. Does everyone know she thought to herself? She walked into CSU and was immediately greeted by Jim
'June what are you doing here? You should be in hospital?' Jim said as he tried to place a hand on her shoulder
June moved away from him 'Jim I am here to work, there is nothing wrong with me, now if you don't mind' June said as she walked past him to her desk 'Oh and what time is the service on Thursday'
'What?'
'The wedding, what time?' she enquired
'June I��'
'What time, it's not a difficult question Jim'
'10:30'
'Right I will be there'
'You will'
'Of course' she said as she left CSU
'Polly what is going on?' Jim asked
'She is pretending nothing has happened, she is burying her feelings, it's not good Jim'
'I didn't think she would come to the wedding'
'Jim, I�� Oh never mind I had better go after her'
Polly ran out of CSU and Jim followed
Polly walked into Canteen and saw June sitting on her own 'June here you are, I have been looking for you'
'There's no need to check up on me'
'I'm not'
'Look I know everyone is talking about me'
'No'
June looked up and saw Jim walk into the canteen 'Oh for gods sake' she said as she stood up 'Right look' she shouted
'No June, no one...'
Everyone fell silent
'Look I know you are all talking about me behind my back so lets get this out into the open, I am happy for Jim and Marie, why wouldn't I be and yes I have just lost a baby' June continued
Everyone looked on shocked
'Oh you didn't know, oh well you do now. Look there is nothing wrong with me, I just want everything to get back to normal, so could everyone stop whispering and following me about I am fine' June said before walking out
'June!' Jim shouted after her but she ignored him.
June walked to the toilets and looked into the mirror. Tears were shining on her face, she couldn't hold back anymore.
Meanwhile in the canteen everyone was concerned for June and they all walked up to Jim to give him their condolences. 'Ma'am' Kerry said to Gina
'Yes'
'Do you think I should talk to her I mean, I have been there remember'
'I think that is a brilliant idea' Jack butted in
'Ok'
Kerry walked off to find June. She walked into the toilets and found June wiping her eyes 'Sarge'
'Oh Kerry, hi'
'Sarge are you alright?' Kerry asked
'Like I said in the canteen I am fine'
'No your not' Kerry replied 'I know your not, I was the same, in shock, denial'
'Oh Kerry' June broke down
Kerry hugged her 'Come on let it all out'
'I wanted this baby more than anything, I had lost Jim but the baby was something that would always remind me of him but now that's gone too. I feel, I��'
'You feel empty' Kerry continued
'Yes, I have never wanted children but when I found out, I was over the moon'
'Sarge it does get easier, I promise'
'It is different for you Kerry, you are young, you can have other children and you had Luke there to support you. What have I got?'
'Everyone in the station is here for you Sarge'
'But not the one person I need'
'He would be if you let him'
'I can't let him, I still love him and I can't let myself get close to him again, just to be let down again'
'Jim loves you too, anyone can see that'
'He is marrying Marie in two days Kerry'
'Oh I didn't know'
'This was my last chance of happiness, my last chance of having a baby'
'Don't say that, you may find someone else'
'Not like Jim, I will never love anyone like I love Jim again'
'Look perhaps you should go home'
'I don't want to be alone Kerry'
'Well I will come with you or Polly, Tony'
'I need to work'
'Look go home and rest today, you have been through a lot these last 24 hours, then come in tomorrow if you feel up to it'
'Perhaps you are right'
'Come on lets get you home'
'Thanks Kerry'
Kerry took Polly and June to June's house and then she returned to the nick 'How did you manage that? Jack asked
'I have been there remember, she is hurting but she is trying to be brave. It was easier for me I had Luke but she feels alone'
'But she's not alone we are all here for her'
'It's not the same sir' Kerry smiled 'She needs to be loved, to be told that everything will be alright, that it isn't her fault and she won't listen to anyone but Jim'
'Jim has tried but she won't let him near her'
'That's because she is frightened, that she will get close to him again and then he will go and marry Marie. As I said she needs Jim to tell her those things but with the situation the way it is Jim can't give her what she needs so she has to do this her way'
'Well thanks Kerry'
'My pleasure'
The next day June arrived for work early and she started doing her paperwork. She was disturbed by people laughing; it was Jim, Des and Reg. They walked in laughing and joking 'So we will make it a night to remember, yeah' Des smiled
'Oh Sarge' Reg said 'We didn't see you there, sorry'
'It's alright, you carry on'
'No lads I thinks that's all for now' Jim said
'Yes right, see you later' Des replied looking awkward and then they left
'There was no need to do that' June said 'You should be happy it's your stag night tonight' she said as she walked out.
The day passed with Jim trying to get June on her own to talk to her but she managed to avoid him for most of the day. It came to the end of the shift and June went down to reception 'Have a good night Jim' she shouted a she walked into reception
June walked out and was greeted by Harry and his mother 'Oh hello' June said 'What are you doing down here?' June asked
Jim ran through the reception door and was stopped by Robbie 'Just wait' she said, he stopped and watched June with Harry.
'Harry wanted to come and see you' Mrs Beckley said 'I hope you don't mind'
'No of course not'
'I made you this' Harry smiled as he passed her a home made card
June opened the card and it read 'Thank you for helping me and I am sorry about your baby' Tears filled up in June's eyes and she knelt down to Harry and hugged him 'Thank you' she whispered
'Your baby will be in heaven like Billy'
June looked confused 'I had a miscarriage 2 years ago, we named the baby Billy, it made things easier to talk about, giving him a name'
'Billy was my brother but he is safe up there now' Harry said pointing to the sky 'What is your babies name?' he asked
'I... I don't know' she whispered as a tear fell down her cheek'Don't cry' he said wiping the tear away
'Don't shut everyone out Sgt Ackland, it was what I did and I regret it now. I shut my husband out and it made things harder.' Mrs Beckley added
'Where's the babies daddy?' Harry asked
'Harry?' Mrs Beckley said 'you shouldn't ask that'
'No it's alright' June said. June looked behind her at Jim and then back to Harry
'Is that him?' Harry asked
'You ask a lot of questions don't you' June laughed 'Yes, yes that's the babies father'
Jim's heart melted it was the first time he had heard her admit it
Harry walked over to Jim 'I am sorry'
June smiled slightly and Harry returned to June 'Come on then you, you have asked enough questions for one day' Mrs Beckley smiled
'Sorry' Harry whispered as he hugged June
'Thank you, you are one brave, intelligent little boy' June smiled 'You look after your mum' June said as she stood up 'You are a lucky woman'
'I know, but never give up hope Sgt Ackland, you could have one just like this one day'
'Look I tell you what, if you ever want to have a look at the station or you ever need anything give me a ring and I will sort something out, alright' June said handing Harry her card
'Thank you for everything' Mrs Beckley smiled
'And thank you'
'Look after her mate, she is one hell of a lady' Mrs Beckley said to Jim 'Don't let her slip through your fingers, I nearly lost my husband after my miscarriage, don't lose your wife through this'
Jim looked on and just smiled faintly
June felt awkward but she showed Mrs Beckley and Harry out and then went home.
'Jim are you alright?' Robbie asked
'Yes, Robbie could you do me a favour, tell the lads tonight is off, I have to go somewhere'
'But Jim it's your stag night'
'This is more important' Jim said as he left
Half hour later
Jim knocked on June��s door and she answered
'Jim? What are you doing here?' June asked looking confused 'It's your stag night'
'I had to come and see you June'
'Jim don't do this'
'Just let me in'
June opened the door wider and let Jim in
'We need to talk June?' Jim said
'No we don't''June stop hiding your feelings, I know you are hurting, I am hurting too' Jim cried
'Jim I can't do this, not with you'
'June we have both lost a baby, the baby was part of us both'
'Please Jim' June broke down
'I would have been there for you, you know how much I wanted to be a father'
'I know but I didn't want to ruin your happy family'
'Oh June'
'Jim I�� Jim I am scared' she cried
Jim took her into his arms and held her tight 'Oh Jim I feel so empty' she sobbed
'It's ok'
'No it isn't' June shouted pushing him away 'It's not ok, it will never be ok. I have lost my baby'
'I have lost a baby too June, please just let me in, let me near you' he cried
'I can't' she shouted
'You can, we need to support each other'
'No what you need is to get back to Marie' she said 'This is my problem not yours'
'How can you say that' Jim shouted 'It takes two to make a baby you know'
'You have a new life now Jim, just go back to your ready made family' she shouted
'No, we need to talk about this'
'I have told you there is nothing to talk about, it was my baby now just leave me alone'
'Then why did you tell that little boy I was the father hey answer me that, I saw you, you looked to me for support'
'No no I didn't' she screamed
Jim grabbed hold of her arms and pushed her against the wall 'I love you June and I need you to help me through this' he shouted
'Jim please, don't do this you are marrying Marie tomorrow'
June looked deep into his eyes, her heart melted. Jim let go of her arms and kissed her 'Jim please'
'June I love you'
June couldn't resist anymore she kissed him passionately; the heated argument had now turned into burning passion. Jim kissed her deeply and then kissed her neck, June called his name. Jim started to undo June's skirt but she stopped him 'No Jim we can't do this, you are getting married tomorrow'
'But I want you'
'No you don't you are just upset'
'No that's not true'
'Please Jim' June said as she pushed him away 'I think you should go' she sobbed
'June tell me you don't love me and that you don't want me and I will leave right now'
June sobbed 'You know I can't do that, you know I love you, you bastard, you know' June said hitting his chest.
Jim gathered June into his arms and she sobbed ' Please Jim just go' she begged
'June lets talk, nothing else lets just talk'
'Ok' June reluctantly agreed
They both sat down in the living room 'June why didn't you tell me?'
'I was going to, I had it all planned out, I mean I know we were separated but while I was away I realised how much I loved you and when I found out about the baby, it made everything perfect or so I thought' she sobbed 'I was going to come back, tell you how I felt and tell you about the baby but when I got back I found out you were engaged to someone else'
'I am sorry'
'How could you ask her to marry you Jim, when I asked you, you said no. What's wrong with me?'
'Oh nothing is wrong with you don't think like that. I was on the rebound, I thought I had lost my chance with you and I saw a ready-made family there waiting for me'
'So you grabbed it?'
'I suppose so'
'June why didn't you want me to know you had lost the baby?' Jim cried 'I could have been there for you'
'What feel sorry for me, no thank you'
'No I didn't mean that'
'I didn't see the point in telling you, the baby had gone and you were about to marry Marie'
'Didn't you think I had the right to know'
'Of course I did but I just couldn't tell you I was scared' she sobbed
'It's all my fault, I should have taken more care of myself'
'No June please don't blame yourself, it was an accident'
'Maybe it's for the best now anyway, I mean now you can get on with your life' June said
'Don't say that June, as far as I am concerned we had a baby together, our baby and I will never forget that. It is what I have always wanted'
'I know it is and I am sorry' she sobbed 'I let you down again'
'No, no you didn't' Jim said as he hugged her 'June do you think it was a boy or a girl?'
'Well I imagined it as a little boy, he would have looked like you, have your beautiful eyes, he was going to part of you I could keep close to me' June cried 'But now he's gone'
'Perhaps we should name him like that lady said' Jim said calmly looking at June
'Maybe'
'How about Thomas?' Jim asked 'Tom for short'
'Yes' June smiled 'I like that. Thomas James Carver'
Jim held June tightly and stroked her hair 'That's beautiful' he sobbed 'He would have had your nose and mouth, he would have been so beautiful like his mother'
June sobbed 'You are beautiful June'
'Jim we agreed we would just talk'
'I know but I can't help it' Jim said looking at June before once again he dipped his head and kissed her. This time June responded, she wanted him so much; him just being there was easing her pain. June's hand ran through his hair as their kiss got deeper 'Jim we shouldn't be doing this' June said
'June I love you and I want you'
'And I want you' June said as she kissed him again.
Jim slid his hand up her skirt and pulled at her knickers, while June released him from his jeans. Jim kissed her passionately and was about to enter her when there was a knock at the door. June pushed Jim off her and pulled her knickers up and tidied herself up.
'Oh god, it's Tony' June said 'Do your trousers up quickly?' she ordered
'June I��''Shush Jim not now, what we were doing was wrong' June said as she walked to the door and answered it. She let Tony in and he walked into the sitting room 'Jim?' Tony said looking surprised
'Hello Tony, I came round to see June, we needed to talk'
'Are you alright?' Tony asked June
'I wouldn't hurt her Tony'
'I am fine really, we needed to talk about Thomas James that's all, we have done that now and I think we both needed it'
'Thomas James?' Tony asked
'Yes the baby' Jim replied 'We named him Thomas James'
'Oh I see right'
'Jim was just about to leave'
'Um, yes right' Jim replied
June walked Jim to the door ' I meant what I said June, I do love you' he said as he went to kiss her
'Jim' she said pushing him away
'Oh please June for old times sake' he begged
She nodded and kissed him lightly on the lips 'Now go' she ordered.
He walked off down the path, wishing Tony hadn't interrupted them, he wanted her not Marie but how could he let Marie down now he thought to himself.
June watched him walk away and wiped away her tears, she loved him so much and he just eased her pain. I have lost him now forever she thought as she closed the door.
The next day
June arrived at the registry office and sat by Polly and Jack on the edge of a pew. The ceremony started, Jim looked at June and smiled slightly. He was thinking of a way of how to get out of this mess but it was too late he thought as he saw Marie standing next to him.
'Ok this is the part in the service that I have to ask if there is anyone here who knows of any reason why these two should not be married' the registrar said looking at the quests. It was all too much for June; she got up and ran out.
Jim turned quickly and saw her exiting and he let go of Marie��s hand and ran after her
'I am sorry Marie I am so sorry' he shouted as he ran out of the room.
Marie was left looking shocked and stunned.
Jim got into his car and drove over to June��s, he banged on the door
'June open up please, I know you are in there'
June opened the door, Jim pushed past her and took her into his arms and kissed her passionately
'Oh June I couldn't do it I love you not her, it would be wrong'
'But I can't give you what she can'
'You already have June, you gave me a child, our child mine and yours'
'But he died'
'He was still part of us and all I want now is you'
'Do you mean it Jim' June asked
'Yes'
She kissed him passionately
'Oh Jim I never want to let you again''I am not going anywhere June, I have been a fool letting you go, all I want now is you'
'What about Marie?' June asked
'I will explain everything to her' he said
Jim got down on one knee 'Jim what are you doing?'
'I now know June what I want, I want you, June will you marry me?' Jim asked
'Yes, yes I will of course I will'
Jim got up off the floor and kissed her deeply. He then picked her up and carried her up stairs. He laid her on the bed and they made love to each other.
1 Year later
June came down stairs in her white wedding dress, she looked at Polly and Kerry who were her bridesmaids
'You look beautiful' Polly smiled 'I am so happy for you'
'Thank you'
'June what is it what is that grin for?' Kerry asked
'I am just so happy, this time last year I couldn't see a future ahead of me but now, I am marrying the man I love and��'
'And what?'
'I am 3 months pregnant'
'Oh June' Polly beamed 'That's brilliant does Jim know'
'No I wanted to keep it quiet until I reached 3 months because of what happened last time'
'Oh he will be so excited' Kerry smiled
'I know'
'Well you are not showing at all June'
'I know I am lucky'
'When are you going to tell him?' Polly asked
'After we are married'
'Oh June this is brilliant news'
'I know, I am so lucky, my life is perfect'
'You are going to take it easy this time alright' Polly ordered
'Well do you think Jim will have it any way, he will wrap me up in cotton wool' she laughed
'Yeah true'
'Right come on' Kerry said 'The cars are here'
'Ok'
June, Polly and Kerry go into the cars and drove off.
The ceremony was being held in the local church and everyone at Sunhill was there past and present. Frank had returned to be Jim's best man, June had asked Harry Beckley to be her page boy and Bob had offered to give June away.
It was a beautiful ceremony and as Jim and June exited the church everyone threw confetti over them 'Come on Mrs Carver lets get you to the reception' Jim smiled
'Ok Mr Carver'
Everyone arrived at the reception being held at the station. Frank tapped his glass to get everyone��s attention
'Attention please, I would like to congratulate Jim and June on becoming husband and wife and I would like you all to join me in a toast to Jim and June'
'Jim and June' echoed around the room
'Speech from the groom' Tony shouted
'Ok, ok' Jim laughed as he stood up 'I would, we would like to thank everyone for coming and joining us on this very special day. As you all know these last 18 months have been hard but we have got through it and now we couldn't be happier. Many of you will realise that it was a year ago today June had a miscarriage and so I would like you all to join me in a toast to my beautiful wife June and our son Thomas James may he rest in peace'
'June and Thomas James' echoed around the room
June stood up and kissed him and argh! Echoed the room
'I would like to say something too' June began ' I am the luckiest woman alive, we have been through so much together that I thought we would never see the day that we were so happy, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone of you who helped both myself and Jim but especially myself through the miscarriage this time last year, I couldn't have done it without you'
Everyone clapped 'I have one more announcement to make which Jim knows nothing about either, Jim you have made me the happiest woman alive and I know you said that I would be enough for you but do you think we could find room for one more' she smiled
'Do you mean?' Jim beamed
'Yes I am 3 months pregnant'
'Oh June' Jim smiled as he hugged her
Everyone erupted in the room, and they all congratulated them
'This time you are not going out on any risky jobs alright?' Jim ordered
June laughed and looked at Polly 'What?' he asked
'Polly said the same thing to me'
'We are not taking any chances June I love you more than anything and I don't want anything to happen to you'
'I know. I love you too' she replied as she kissed him.
6 Months later
June had been rushed into hospital and had had a beautiful little girl. Both Jim and June were delighted, they called her Rosie Jane Carver and they lived happily ever after.