| "WHINING" by Vickey Pahnke I recall a quote I read not too long ago which made me smile: "Jesus can turn water into wine, but He can't turn your whining into anything." I wish I knew who made that astute observation so that I could thank them. Certainly, He cannot turn it into anything positive! Whining is unproductive, negative, and silly. It is also widespread, contagious, and easy to take part in. My parents used to say that whining is a way of making a mountain out of a molehill. Our countenance becomes sour and our attitude glum. I can think of no magic fixes for this choice of action, but I do know that our Father in Heaven would much rather we spend out time in better ways. A few small changes in attitude can dramatically alter the amount of time we waste in whining: 1. Think of "I need" versus "I want". Our plan is usually different from God's plan for us. Since He knows us better than we know ourselves, His way of accomplishing things is better than ours. Whether a parent tells us "No" when we ask to do something, or the Lord says "No" when we pray about something, our humble attitude can allow us to recognize that we may be asking for what we want instead of what we need. Those who love us best will tend to our needs. And when we receive anything other than what we genuinely need, we can recognize it as a luxury for which we may be doubly grateful! 2. Spend extra prayer time thanking for things we have. When we stop to think about it, the "Thank You" list is endless. The patient whose leg hurt spent a lot of time whining until he saw another patient who had no legs. The girl whose hair wouldn't "cooperate" whined until she saw another young woman who, because of chemotherapy, had no hair. Perspective counts! 3. Narrow goals and expectations. We cannot realistically expect to have everything all at once. We cannot expect that everything will always go our way. We canot expect that all people will understand our way of thinking, or do things the way we do them. Those very differences are what make the world go around, so to speak! By focusing on specific goals and specific things, we may be more content with how things are going! By allowing others their right to opinion, our level of contentment way climb dramatically. 4. Assign someone to be a "whining monitor". This is not an assignment for sissies! Assigning a sibling or other family member to let us know when we start to whine will require that we be humble enough to listen to that person! The pay-off comes when we pay attention and stop the whining cycle when it begins. Whining is a habit we can take control of and can change! 5. Make a "No Whining" sign and tape it to the mirror. Starting the day, brushing our teeth, checking our hair while noticing that little reminder will alert us to alter our habit of whining. Mentally, it can give us a boost to know we are working on a little problem that can make a big difference in our life! 6. Ask for help in overcoming this little grievance. The Lord is not a whiner. I doubt we will encounter any whiners if we make it to the Celestial kingdom. The Holy Spirit needs us to be positive and cheerful in order to remain with us. Surely, Heavenly Father will gladly assist us in overcoming this bothersome habit. This is what President Ezra taft Benson once said: "The Lord wants us to be happy. He will do His part if we will do our part. The Christlike life is the life that brings true happiness. There is no true happiness without God." (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 339.) With this thought in mind, we may understand how anxious Father is to bless us with a greater level of contentment. We need only recognize the weakness, ask for help, and start making positive changes! To live our lives without murmuring and disputing ( see Phillippians 2:14), will offer us more time and energy for doing good and feeling better. Notice that family and friends will seem to feel better as well! |