"DAD, MOM, DON'T YOU TRUST ME?"
By Clark Smith <[email protected]>
[Clark Smith has been a speaker for EFY and has co-directed a BYU youth
program called "Be the Best You". He works in mortgage banking but
becomes a cameraman for extreme sports on ESPN on the weekends. He and
his wife Julie live in southern California and have five children.]
Back in the 5th grade I remember the day my dad brought home a big huge
industrial rubber band from his work. Unstretched, that thing was about
five feet long. My dad always brought home the coolest things. It was
thick, dark brown and could probably launch a good size water balloon. I
quickly called to my sister to see how far we could stretch it. She
grabbed one end, and I held the other. Walking in opposite directions we
stretched that band so tight you could play music on it. At twenty-five
feet apart, my sister was now squatting and digging her feet in the
middle of the street holding on for dear life. So was I.
Suddenly we both realized that we were at the mercy of each other. If
one were to let go, the other would get creamed by two pounds of high
velocity face smacking rubber. We immediately started negotiating. "I
won't let go if you won't". My younger sister was holding my destiny in
her hands. If she were to let go and let that flying squid of rubber hit
my face, women all across the world would be upset. Victor Hugo said "To
be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."
As an 11 year old boy, I don't think I loved any girl, let alone my
sister, but I surely needed to trust one right then. Trembling, I said,
"Trust me, I won't let go if you won't". I had never really done
anything to give my sister a reason to trust me. I knew if I let go and
creamed my sister there would be some serious consequences. I also knew
that if she let go, the consequences to my face could be just as serious
I honestly thought she would never do it. But, considering how very
handsome I am today, just think how handsome I would be if only I had let
go first.
Okay, so you can't trust your little sister. In all fairness, I had
always been the enemy big brother and she knew I would probably let go if
she didn't beat me to it. In his book titled Pathways to Happiness,
David O. McKay writes "Man's suspicion and lack of trust in his fellow
human beings is one of the greatest enemies of peace." So, what does it
take to be trusted these days? Is there anybody you can trust 100%?
I've heard lots of parents say that they hate it when their kids play the
"Don't you trust me" card when hoping for permission to do something.
Whenever some young person has to play that card, it's usually because
they have done something to cause the parents serious concern about
granting permission. If the parents completely trusted their children,
they would have received permission in the first place. Trust isn't
something you automatically get when you turn fourteen. It needs to be
earned. It is earned by obedience.
As you earn trust, you gain freedoms. Freedom to use the car on Friday
nights, freedom to go to school dances, freedom to go on group dates, and
a curfew that goes beyond 10 pm. Believe me, all these freedoms will come
in handy during your high school social life. But remember this,
although it may take a year or two of obedience to earn your parent's
trust, it only takes one little mess-up to lose it all. Then you start
all over again. So the next time you're with your friends and someone
suggests doing something you know is wrong, rather than risk breaking
your parent's hearts and losing their trust, have the guts to tell that
person NO. You'll not only preserve your parent's trust but you'll keep
the well-deserved freedoms that come with it.
Just think if you were holding one end of that big rubber band and the
Lord were holding the other, you would have complete trust that He would
never let go and cause you harm. He is holding on to you and He'll
never let go. We may stretch that thing so far away that it becomes hard
to hear what He is saying to us, but I promise you he never will let go.
In Proverbs 3: verses 5 and 6 it says "Trust in the Lord with all thine
heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways
acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." The Lord sees the big
picture and believe it or not your parents have a greater perspective of
life than most teenagers do. "Whatever God requires is right, no matter
what it is. Although we may not see the reason thereof until all the
events transpire." (Joseph Smith, _Teachings of the Prophet Joseph
Smith_, p.256)
So, trust the Lord, trust your parents and be obedient. And after all
the events of your teenage years transpire, you will finally understand.
Trust me.