LIKE YOURSELF- SO OTHERS CAN, TOO

By Vickey Pahnke <[email protected]>, songwriter, author, EFY speaker


Does this little song ring a bell?

I love you, you love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

There is a big, purple dinosaur who has taught that song to thousands of
children, and many of us older folks have learned it too.  Barney can
really get on your nerves if you've watched him over and over again.
(With children in my home, we have watched many an hour of that program
on television over the years.)  But wouldn't it honestly be great if we
could walk up to our neighbor, or stop the group moving down the hall at
school, or pull up alongside a car at the stoplight and sing out those
words without fear of being arrested or referred to the nearest mental
health facility?  I'm not advocating running up to your bishop or that
cute girl in fifth period and sharing a great, big hug.  Actually, it
isn't the literal saying or doing of the lyrics that would be awesome.
It is the feeling that our world could be pure and warm and open enough
to allow honest expressions of love.  And that we could all feel good
enough about ourselves to share them!

Small children are so honest and pure in their feelings.  What they think
is what they say.  "Hug me again, Mommy!" or "Didn't I do a good job on
my picture?" sound perfectly normal from a four- year- old.  But by the
time we're fourteen, it seems a bit peculiar to imagine yourself or a
friend yelling out something like, "Isn't my hair so  pretty, Daddy?"
As we grow, we may lose the innocence that allows us to say what we are
thinking because we might be perceived as vain or prideful or just plain
weird.  The "happy family" -- all the world around us -- seems less
happy. We forget how good we really are. Why?  Why do we get so
discouraged because we aren't good at ____________ (the blank is where
you fill in anything that makes you feel less than good).  The adversary
loves this ploy.  If he can get you upset over some "failing" or another,
if he can help you feel insufficient or unworthy, he is thrilled.  You
are liking yourself less and you are less enjoyable to be around.  What a
miserable cycle can be created!

Little children have not yet learned that they are not good enough,
pretty enough, or trained enough.  They think they are wonderful!  And
they are. Their good feelings about themselves allow them to love and to
be loved.  No wonder the Savior counseled us to "become as little
children" in order to be worthy of entering "into the kingdom of heaven"
(Matthew 18:3).

Oh, to keep that feeling the Barney set enjoys!  Maybe we can if we work
at it.  We may be more content with ourselves as we follow Elder Neal A.
Maxwell's counsel, "We are sometimes so anxious about our personal images
when it is His image we should have in our countenances" ('Answer Me,'
Ensign, Nov. 1988, p. 31).  How much money we make, what kind of clothes
we wear, how our hair looks, how well we play ball or the piano - those
worldly measuring sticks lose some of their luster when we get in touch
with that childlike quality within us that reminds us of our goodness,
and of how much Father in Heaven loves us.  "His image" is more clearly
reflected as we work from the inside out and banish unnecessary
discouragement.

President James E. Faust once taught "that as we mature spiritually under
the guidance of the Holy Ghost, our sense of personal worth, of
belonging, and or identity increases."  May we recapture the magical
innocence of youth? Perhaps not entirely.  But we will like ourselves
more.....and others will like us better, too!