THE KEY TO EMOTIONAL GROWTH: RESPONSIBILITY
by Brad Wilcox, Associate Professor, Brigham Young University

If you have teenage brothers or sisters, you have probably been told, "Get out of my face!"  Your sister was just sitting there enjoying life and then suddenly she became angry, upset, or depressed.  Such behavior is called a mood swing, and perhaps you've experienced one yourself.  One minute you feel on top of the world, and the next minute you feel like the world is on top of you.  Does anyone escape such extreme feelings during the teenage years?  I'm afraid not, but that's not all bad.  My wife, a nurse, says that when we are hooked to a heart monitor we don't want to see a straight line.  It's the ups and downs that mean we're alive.  In the same way, our highs and lows are evidence that we are living, learning, and growing emotionally.

The key to emotional growth is not to avoid or deny feelings but to take responsibility for them.  The second Article of Faith teaches that we will all be punished for our own sins.  The word "own" means that our mistakes and sins belong to us and that we must admit that we alone are to blame for our poor choices.  "It's the teacher's fault" or "My mom made me mad" or "He hit me first" just do not cut it as excuses. Situations may explain why we have strong feelings, but they do not excuse us from controlling our feelings.

If you have a horrible day, you allowed it to happen.  If you have a wonderful day, you deserve the credit for staying positive.  Other people do not have to change so you can feel better.  You're the one who owns your life and must take responsibility for it.

Next time you hear the words, "Get out of my face!" don't freak out. Remember the key to emotional growth is taking responsibility for your own mood no matter what mood someone else happens to be in.

Original Source: Growing Up: Gospel Answers About Maturation and Sex by Brad Wilcox (Bookcraft, 2000), pp. 25-27.