"VUJA DAY"
by Clark Smith <[email protected]>, EFY speaker, ESPN cameraman
I have been photographing weddings for the past seventeen years. I've
seen it all from the groom forgetting the marriage license to brides with
white combat boots. At my wedding I watched our seven-tier cake topple
over to the ground. You never know what will happen. I always take a
back up camera just in case my regular one has a malfunction. I can't
afford to take any chances on such an important day. It represents the
biggest day of this young couples' new life, and my job is to preserve it
on film so they can always look back and see how it all started.
Is a temple wedding really where it all begins? For two young worthy
people to be married in the temple today, the preparation begins at a
very young age. I have started to create the scenario for a temple
marriage in the minds of my young children. We drive by the temple and
talk about how beautiful it is and what it would be like to be married
there. At a recent Family Home Evening we spent ten minutes for each
child to choose their temple, but also what kind of person they would
hope to marry. We did a ward clean-up day at the temple and I took the
day off to make sure our kids got another chance to touch the temple.
Whether the young people clean the grounds, plant flowers, wait outside
for a wedding, or do baptisms for the dead, it's important to just be
close enough to touch the temple. In areas where the temple may be too
far away to physically touch, a photo on a bedroom wall will do just
fine. In my house we put one on the fridge and that temple picture gets
touched almost one hundred times a day.
Vaughn J. Featherstone points out in his book, "Millennial Generation",
that if we turn that statement around we can let the temple touch us.
When the temple touches us we cannot stay the same- we become better.
Once a temple touches us, we will want to be better. Every time we go
and do temple baptisms with our youth the temple touches them. They
remember how they feel dressed in white. Each time they attend they get
touched and that feeling is something they never forget. Never pass on
the chance to do Temple Baptisms. Sacrifice those momentary pleasures
and gain some eternal rewards.
I just did some engagement shots of a young couple and the bride-to-be
told me that as she attended the San Diego Temple dedication in 1993 she
made up her mind that she would be married there someday. She was
fourteen years old then and pictured in her mind what that day would be
like. Now, eight years later, that visual image in her mind has prepared
her for her actual wedding, which will happen at the San Diego Temple
this summer.
Something that has been helpful to me when making a goal is to create a
visual picture in my mind of what that day will be like when I finally
get there. I call it "Vuja Day". We all have experienced that strange
phenomenon known as D�j� vu. You know the times you say to yourself, "I
have been here before". Well, Vuja Day is kind of the opposite and
simply helps you say, "I'm going to be there someday". It has to do with
creating a detailed visual picture of yourself experiencing your goal in
your mind. Take temple marriage for example. You would choose a
favorite temple, the colors of your flowers, seeing your parents smiling
as you come out holding the hand of your new spouse. Visualizing your
little sister in a white dress and holding a basket of rose pedals.
Hugging your brothers and sisters. Or perhaps the Grandma taking charge
during the photos and getting in the way of the professional
photographer.
Ebenezer Scrooge changed his whole outlook on life after a visit from
three ghosts. If I could be the Ghost of Marriage Future I would show
every young teenager that the choices he or she makes during the ages of
14-19 would have a direct effect on their lives in about ten years.
Bridging that gap and helping young people realize that living a temple
worthy teenage life may not see the immediate blessings but once they get
married, they will surely know the eternal rewards of peace and joy that
are consequences of living an obedient life.
What I call "Vuja Day", Steven R. Covey calls "Beginning with the end in
mind", and Alma explains it simply as "looking forward with the eye of
faith". (Alma 5:15 & 32:40) Start with a visual image in your mind and
add as much detail as possible. Young men, you might start by
visualizing yourself in a white shirt and tie walking down some long
country road in the mission field. Let the young women plan the temple
wedding in her mind because if you are like me, you won't have much say
in it anyway. There is nothing wrong with that. But remember this, as
each young woman creates her visual image of her wedding day, there is a
worthy returned missionary standing next to her in every picture. And
as a photographer, those are the images I love to see develop.