America the Beautiful

DISCLAIMER: Ok, I can imagine whoever is reading this thinks that I am about to roast the United States. However, I am not about to do that. Instead, I am about to praise this wonderful country of ours, so if you're squeamish about hearing an exaltation of America, then please, I urge you not to continue.

Anyway, now that we have that little bit out of the way, I'll go ahead and continue. As I'm sure most of you assume, I've lived in the US for all of my life, and being so, am an American citizen. I look at that title, and I think of all of the priviledges that come with it, and of all of the burdens that come along with it, as well. I think, as an American citizen, I live in the most powerful and influential country the world has ever seen, our culture reaching around the globe. At the same time, it being almost the one year anniversary of Sept. 11, I think of how prominent the United States is, and how much of a target we are to those who despise our success as a nation. With that thought, I also wonder why anyone would hate us with such a passion as to attack us in such a fashion. Yes, I'm sure we've done things wrong in the past, and will do so again in the future, and aggravated some people along the way, but did we do something so horrific as to continually terrorize this country for it? I don't think so. I mean, come on, we've been the most generous nation, even to our enemies. (Yes, that's right, it's time for a history lesson, boys and girls)

Ever since the United States rose to prominence as a world superpower after World War I, we've gotten into the habit of helping to rebuild and aid nations in need. Germany, Japan and, to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of these countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States. The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering, belligerent Americans. When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. Of course, it is France, they don't like anyone anyway. Also, when disasters occur in other countries, the United States races to help in any way possible. When hurricanes, tornados, and other disasters occur over here, no one lifts a damned finger to help us. Please inform me of the last time another country provided significant assistance to this country in a time of dire need or trouble, outside of war. I'd really like to know, really I would. I think it's about time someone besides the United States stood up for the United States. Until this happens, I have a proposal.

Here is my proposal: 1) We return to an isolationist country. All we do is trade with other nations, that's it. If that means leaving the U.N., that's fine, we dominate that arena anyway. 2) No more playing big brother to the world. No, I don't mean that in the Orwellian sense, I mean we stop paying billions to protect areas that don't want us there in the first place. That also means not getting involved in a war/conflict unless we were attacked or directly targeted. 3) Let countries settle their own quarrels. Obviously, our attempts at peace in most regions haven't paid off lately, so let's just let feuding countries blow each other up. It'll save us time, effort, money, and space on the front page of the newspaper.

That is my proposal for the new United States. In direct contrast to Jared's idea of a return to Imperialism, I'm calling for a return to Isolationism. A return to the Age of Normalcy like we had in the days of Harding and Coolidge. Those were the days, all we worried about were domestic problems like Prohibition and the Mafia. Well, I call for this at least until people start respecting this country for what we really are. I mean, for Christ's sake, look at what we've done for the world. And what do we get in return? A great big "Fuck you, America." I've had it with that. No more.

"One man with courage makes a majority" -Andrew Jackson

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