They say everything in life happens for a specific reason, well I happen to think that that is very unfair. They also say God does not give you more than you handle, well even though I believe in God I think that sometimes exceptions should be made. Maybe you're wondering why I feel this way so I believe it is my obligation to tell you.

Well recently I went through an ordeal that totally changed my view on life. Now I have witnessed deaths before and even though they were traumatizing none got to me as bad as this one did, maybe because none of the others were family members. I also think that maybe I cried at this death becuse the others were people who got to live and experience life, this one was only a couple minutes old.

Claude Johnson was born on April 26, 2000. He was 4 1/2 months too early but that was not his fault neither was it his parents fault. He lived for about 2 minutes on this earth but he will live forever in my heart. Now maybe you're wondering how can you love someone that you didn't even know, well let me tell you. For the 6 hours I sat in the hospital watching my aunt going through pain, for the two minutes I held that little boys body in the palm of my hand, I fell in love with him. I wonder what it would have been like if he had been given the chance to live, would I still love him as much and I have come to the conclusion that I would . Now I sit at home at nights and I can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes I see his little face, he was a perfect little boy and he will be greatly loved and missed.

REST IN PEACE CLAUDE JOHNSON.

APRIL 26, 2000

So now that that has been said I feel it is time to move on to another subject. I feel it is time to talk about love. Everyone agrees that falling in love for the first time is one of the greatest feelings ever. Well i've been in love before and up to this day the first person I have ever loved is still a part of my life. When i'm sad I call him when I have good news he is the first person I call and when I fell in love for the second time he was right there by my side looking out for me.

They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before. Now for some people that might be true but the way i see it the pain you feel after that loss is so great that i figure i eould rather not have loved and not go through the process of losing that love than to have loved and have my heart feeling like it just got ripped out when i lose that love.