the official john and genia f.a.q.

How did you two meet?
A mutual friend set us up, at John�s request.

Have you ever in your past thought about or actually eaten an insect?
Not really. I�m pretty sure they wouldn�t taste very good, and unlike most foods that taste bad, bugs probably wouldn�t even be good for me.

Can't we all just get along?
I suppose that in some alternate universe we could all get along, but people just don�t share the same values as other people. I�m not even talking specific �belief systems,� but the basic idea of treating others with respect is lost on some.

What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?
I could give you the dictionary definitions, but they aren�t important right now.

Why on earth are the almost 100 different varieties of under arm deodorant?
Smelling good is pretty important to most people, but if you're not into it, that's your business, okay??

What should I do if my state provided defense attorney is a dyslexic drunk?
Just tell him/her �derif er�uoy� and then politley drop them off at your neighborhood Betty Ford Clinic.

What ingredients do I need to make a turtle cheesecake?
2 cups vanilla wafer crumbs, 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, 14 ounces individually wrapped caramels, 1 (5 ounce) can evaporated milk, 1 cup chopped pecans, � cup white sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 2 eggs, � cup semisweet chocolate chips, 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened. You can mail the cheesecake to�

What is your favorite movie?
Picking a favorite is pretty tough, but we can assure you that it is not A Night at the Roxbury.

What kind of hairspray do you use?
John said "Let me tell you a little something about hairspray. A long, long, long time ago, in the same galaxy that we currently inhabit, there was a revolution going on in the world of fashion. Colors were bold and hair was big. Aqua Net reigned supreme! As all trends do, big hair eventually disappeared from the pages of Vogue, and basic black was in again. But the leaders of the Aqua Net world domination group were not afraid. They began working quietly behind the scenes, swallowing up other companies that produced beauty products until they owned virtually every one, with the obvious exception of Paul Mitchell. Fast forward to 2001 � almost no one outside of rural Kentucky actually buys hair spray that has the Aqua Net logo on the bottle, but everyone who buys hair spray is actually using Aqua Net. Haven�t you seen the commercials where one lady is a Suave user and one lady uses �that expensive salon brand?� That�s right, they are both Aqua Net. Resistance is futile." Genia said "Aqua Net."

What is your favorite fruit?
Apples that are just a little bit sour, and strawberries.

Do you prefer candy or cookies?
We love Oreos! But, there�s no wrong way to eat a Reese�s.

John seems nice enough, but rather insane.
How do you put up with him? Genia said "The sex makes up for it."

Black or blue ink in a pen?
Genia said "It depends on my mood." John said "Blue, and I really prefer gel pens to ballpoint pens, but you didn�t ask that, did you?"

All time favorite 80s movie?
Genia's favorite is Top Gun. John's is Airplane!

If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be and why? John said "Historically, the Apostle Peter, because he had understood how it felt to greatly need and receive forgiveness."

How many licks do you think that it takes to get to the center of that tootsie roll tootsie pop?
John said "386. Trust me." But Genia said "3."

What is the worst commercial you have ever seen?
John said "Every Pepsi commercial. I�ll save the Pepsi diatribe for another day, though�" Genia said "That awful cell phone commercial with the husband and wife meeting with their counselor, where the man says 'Is that what you think I sound like?' "

What do you have on your checks?
Our names, address, routing number, account number, and check number. We think that�s pretty standard, really.

Are you a nerd?
We both figured this was a question just for John. He said "People generally use the term 'freak,' but thanks for asking."

Do you have any deformaties?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you shallow thing, you!!

What is your favorite Seinfeld episode?
There are so many to choose from� John is especially fond of the backwards episode and the episode in which George does the opposite of every instinct he has, which turned out to get him a girlfriend and a job with the Yankees. Genia chose not to choose a favorite episode for undisclosed reasons...

Would you consider naming your first child '7'?
John said "Maybe if I was going to have seven children, because then I could name them with numbers in descending order. I think that would make it pretty easy to keep up with which kid is which, because they would all be different sizes and stuff. But, one kid might be really short and one really tall, and then I�d be calling four, three, and three, four." Genia just said "I'm not really a Mickey Mantle fan."