Dave, as of today, you have been put on Chem Clique Probation. . . .

You may sitting here in disbelief. We know, it's hard to take. But we have put you on probation for a good reason: you threatened the life of Ethyl. Some of us didn't work long and hard on that beautiful masterpiece to have you threaten her in this way. Our only solution was to put you on probation. This probation is effective to start today, Thursday, March 23 and will end one week from today. You can be let off probabtion only if you do something extraordinary relating to chem. We hate to this, but it's the only way you'll learn. Dave, you have to learn to treat others with respect.

SAVE ETHYL!!!

Ok, fine, so maybe she isn't a Miss America contestant, but she's our Ethyl. There is no reason that anyone should have to put up with the sort of mean and useless banter that Dave dishes out, especially Ethyl. She has no way to defend herself. Come on Chem Clique Members, we are her voice. If we won't stick up for Ethyl, who will? Dave must be struck down. We understand that Ethyl needs a lot attention, and we are certainly wililng to give it to her. Ethyl doesn't deserve to be disrespected. Dave, the ball is in your court now, buddy. We think that you should apologize to Ethyl. You hurt her feelings. . . .we think that we need to take her to a counselor or something. All she can do is sit in a corner, cowering like a little child, thinking that nobody loves her. Girls, we will love Ethyl!