Brenda had been dozing on the couch for about fifteen minutes when a sharp yelp of pain woke her. At first, she thought it was on the television and then she turned to Jax and saw him doubled over in pain, reaching for his foot. She got up quickly and rushed to his side.

Jax was in excruciating pain. It felt like he had just broken the part of his foot the doctor said he hadn't. He was reaching down to protect his foot from further contact with anything.

"Jax! What's wrong? What happened?" Brenda was by his side watching him. She saw the tears of pain hovering in his eyes and knew it was worse than she imagined. He normally had a high pain tolerance, but this was too much for him. Before he could respond to her questions, she ran to the kitchen to retrieve one of the soft ice packs from the freezer. On her way back to him, she grabbed two of his painkillers and a glass of water.

He was bent over his leg and cradling his foot in his hand. She gave him the glass and the two pills. He swallowed them instantly. She pushed on his shoulders and forced him to lie back on the couch. He complied, gripping a pillow tightly in his hands, a grimace registering deeply on his face. Brenda gently undid the splint on his foot, being as careful as she possibly could. He cried out in pain several times, nonetheless. When she had the splint off, she touched the ice pack lightly to his foot and ankle. He yelped and jerked his foot away. Forcing him to keep still, she put the pack on his foot and held it there gently. After awhile, it numbed and he stopped resisting her. The painkillers had also begun to work.

Jax took several deep breaths. Brenda moved to sit next to him after making sure the ice pack was secure. She gently wiped away the beads of sweat from his forehead. When he'd finally calmed down, he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"See? Aren't you glad I was here?" she teased gently, smiling at him. "Jax, what did you do to cause all that?"

"I'm not exactly sure," he said after a moment's hesitation. He knew, he just didn't want to tell her. "I think it started as part of a dream I was having."

"What kind of dream could you be having that would do that?"

"I don't know. I was running somewhere and I think I moved my leg or kicked something in my dream and ended up kicking that table right there." He gestured to the low coffee table next to the couch. "I must have hit it in just the right place, though." He winced as he shifted his foot slightly.

"No kidding."

"Brenda, I have never felt that kind of pain in my life. Never."

I have, just not physically. "It looked pretty bad," she said instead. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" She was concerned that he would try to cover how much he was really hurting.

"Someday, but it helped me make two decisions just now."

"What?"

"One, I know I didn't tell you I wanted you to stay tonight, but now, I am very glad you did. And two, I think it might be a good idea if you were to stay here for the rest of the week with me. I'm not going anywhere until I'm off these crutches and neither are you, if you'll agree." He smiled at her and waited for her response.

"What do you mean, Jax?"

"I mean, I am not going back to Port Charles until I can walk without help. Lord knows I wouldn't want Miranda to have to take care of me. As for you, I'm hoping you'll stay here, in the apartment, with me until then. Please, Brenda? It's my only concession to this."

She smiled. After what she'd just witnessed, she couldn't let him go through that alone and definitely not with Miranda. "Okay, you've got a deal. We'll both go back in a week or so." She glanced at the clock then. "Jax, I think it's time to go to bed. Besides, those painkillers of yours are going to make you want to sleep and I think you'd be better off in your bed."

He nodded at her logic, but inwardly groaned at the prospect of having to move anytime soon. Eventually, he sat up and made a move for his crutches. Using his right leg and Brenda for leverage, he stood carefully and began to move towards the bedroom. Each step was painful, but he persisted and made it without stopping. Brenda walked by his side the whole way, carrying the splint and ice pack in her hands.

He finally sat on the edge of the bed and took a moment. A thought occurred to him and he made a face at it. "As much as it pains me to say this, Brenda, I think we may need to put the splint back on before I try to get changed." He pulled himself further back on the bed so that his legs were straight out in front of him.

"You're sure?" She knelt in front of him with the splint in her hand.

He nodded quickly before he could change his mind. He knew he was in for an immense amount of pain. He lay down on his back on the bed and resumed the position he'd had in the hospital. He pulled his right leg up to him and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and bit down on his lip as he felt Brenda fit the splint around his ankle. She gently moved it to match his heel, but even the slightest touches were bringing him near tears. He realized that the painkillers do. in fact, work, just as long as no one touches him. She was beginning to velcro the straps securely and as she did each one in the line, he knew that the last one would be his breaking point. It strapped directly over the bruise. Closing his hands tightly into a fist, he prepared himself as best he could.

Brenda took a deep breath and held it. She was about to cause absolute pain to her best friend and there was nothing she could do about it. The best thing to do was to get it over with as soon as possible. She grasped the strap in one hand and held his foot tightly with the other. She heard him gasp and moving quickly, she closed the splint and velcroed it together.

Just as she finished, Jax couldn't stop himself from crying out in pain. It had taken her less than five minutes to do the whole thing, but it had felt like an eternity and was, by far, the most painful five minutes of his entire life. He was breathing hard as he waited for the pain to subside. As the waves coursed through him, increasingly intense at first, he nearly passed out.

Finally, he sat up and looked at Brenda, giving her a rueful smile. "I have never thought something like that might kill a person, but you know what? I think now, it could. Tell me something, Brenda." He ran a hand through his hair and looked at his swollen foot.

"What, Jax?"

"I've done this at least sixty times since we got that table, why, all of a sudden, did it do this to me?" he half-joked. "I knew we should never have gotten that table. It was Miranda's idea. I always hated that thing. I think it knew that and decided to take this opportunity to maim me."

Brenda laughed in response and helped Jax stand up to change out of his jeans. He motioned to her to hand him his pajama bottoms while he undid the buttons on his pants and slipped them over his waist. Sitting on the bed, he eased them off his legs, with Brenda's help to get them over his foot gently. She gave him the dark blue silk bottoms and he slipped them on. Finally, he sat again and pulled the gray sweater over his head. Lying back against the pillows, he propped his foot back up on the ones at the end of the bed.

Brenda had known he only slept in the bottoms of his pajamas, but this was only serving to remind her why she was first attracted to him all those years ago. She had had to force herself to look away as she helped him take his jeans off and he sat there in only his silk boxers. The slight curl in his stomach now made the muscles stand out in ripples. He had his hands under his head and she could easily see the muscles in his arms and chest, as well. She felt her face begin to flush and she grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt to sleep in. She went quickly into the bathroom and closed the door tightly. Looking at herself in the mirror, Brenda saw the deep red blush spreading on her cheeks and was instantly grateful for the dim lighting in the bedroom. She splashed cold water on her face and forced herself to inhale and exhale in a steady rhythm. My God, what am I doing? Why now? I've always loved this man. Why am I letting it get to me like this now? Jax cannot see me like this-ever. At least, not until I know how he feels. She saw that she looked mostly normal, so she opened the door to the bathroom and stepped into the bedroom.

Jax watched her as she emerged from the bathroom dwarfed in his clothes. She's so beautiful. Oh, why is this happening? First, in my dreams, and now in my life. Why is everything changing so much all of a sudden? I can't let her know. I'm not allowed to feel this way about her. Jax smiled slightly at her as she walked toward the bed.

"Where do you want me to sleep?" she said with forced lightness.

"I don't see why you can't stay in here." Did I just say that?

"Okay by me." Did I just agree to that?

Brenda went quickly to the kitchen freezer and exchanged the ice pack for a new one. If I'm not careful, Jax isn't the only one who's going to need ice tonight! She returned to the bedroom to find him half-asleep already. She carefully put the ice over his foot and made sure it was secure. Pulling the covers up over his chest, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Good night, Jax."

He smiled tiredly, "Good night."

They both kept their next thoughts silent, but they echoed each other in thinking the I-love-you part.

Quietly, Brenda got into the bed and made sure she lay one her side of it. How am I going to do this? I'd be better off on the floor! But she stayed where she was as she drifted off to sleep.

Jax awoke groggily the next morning. He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it. The room was bright with the mid-morning sun. He put his hands to his head, gently massaging his temples. He had a headache that could easily rival any hangover from his college days. He tried to remain as still as possible.

This was how Brenda found him a few minutes later. His eyes closed and hands now on his chest, he appeared to still be asleep. She had come in to take a shower and get dressed. She was carrying a fresh cup of coffee in her hands.

Jax heard what sounded like soft footsteps on the carpet. He figured she thought he was still asleep, so she was being as quiet as possible. He had no idea where his headache was coming from, but it was possible that it was from the painkillers for his foot. He remembered how dizzy he'd been the day before after taking them and the dull ache he'd had for a few hours later. He would try not to take any today and maybe that would help. Brenda was still moving around the room quietly and he could tell she was looking for something in his drawers that she could wear for the day.

"Brenda?" he said as quietly as he could while still making sure she could hear him. Even his own voice sounded thunderous to his ears.

"Jax!" she started, then she noticed the look of pain on his face as his hands flew to his head and he took a sharp breath. She immediately quieted to a whisper. "Sorry, Jax, I didn't know you were awake. How do you feel this morning?" She sat on the edge of the bed next to him, one hand resting lightly on his thigh above his knee.

Oh, that's really not helping, Brenda. "I might be a little better if you could do one thing for me," he said with his eyes still closed.

"What do you need?"

"Close the blinds for me, please." His voice was still barely above a whisper.

Brenda got up and quickly drew the curtains shut. Immediately, Jax felt the slight difference. He slowly opened his eyes just enough to see her sitting on the bed next to him, though he already felt her there.

"Jax, should I be worried?"

"I don't know yet. Yesterday, I was dizzy and the headache wasn't nearly this bad. But this is killing me. I'm pretty sure it's coming from the painkillers, as a side effect. Hopefully, I won't have to take any today, and we'll see." He hadn't even thought about his foot until now. "And before you ask, my foot is fine," he tried to move it and flinched. "It only hurts when I try to move it."

"Then don't do that," she smiled. "Do you need me to get anything or do anything for you?"

He closed his eyes again and thought for a second. "Not right now, but you can do me a favor." He began to massage his temples again.

"Name it."

"Can you use the guest shower instead of mine?"

"I was already planning to. I'll come back as soon as I'm done, okay, Jax?" She gathered her clothes quickly.

Jax barely nodded as he drifted off to sleep again. Brenda went through the front hall to the guest bedroom. As she passed the phone, she called Lois to ask her if she would stop at her apartment for a week's worth of clothes before coming to Jax's. Lois agreed and Brenda went to take her shower.

As she stood under the stream of water, her thoughts went back in time. She remembered meeting Jax that day in class and the beginning of their friendship. Somehow, she had known she would fall for the tall, blond guy with the intriguing accent. He was so easy-going and extremely fun to be with. When their relationship went to the next level, it had seemed like a logical progression of events. Even the engagement was timely and as a result of their immense love for each other.

Brenda remembered the night they had dinner in the twilight gardens. He had literally stolen her breath as she came outside. Wearing his white dinner jacket and tuxedo pants, he had never looked do devastatingly handsome in his life. They'd had the very romantic candlelit dinner and then danced the night away to soft music under the stars. That night was the most perfect night of her entire lifetime.

The next day, Brenda remembered, everything changed. She and Jax had that horrendous argument and they broke off everything. She still remembered every word of the fight. After that, they had stopped all contact with each other for the next year. Then, out of the blue one day, Jax had called her wanting to meet and talk. Brenda had been throwing herself into her work by then and was starting her own representation business. She had tried to stay busy with herself ever since that night. Jax wanted to meet and she was paralyzed with fear of what it would be about. She could only figure he wanted the engagement ring back finally, or he wanted to give it to another woman he had met. They did meet in the city, and they did talk, but nothing was ever the same.

Now, over the last three years, their friendship had been re-building and it was better than ever. Brenda was still in love with Jax, but she wouldn't allow herself to ruin their friendship by telling him. She had never stopped loving him in the first place. They were now different people, but Brenda realized she had come to love the man she knew now even more than the man she knew then.

Only two things stand in the way of our being together. And it's because of them that Jax can never know I feel this way. Brenda turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Dressing in her jeans from the day before and one of Jax's sweaters, she brushed her hair and left it to air dry.

She went into the kitchen to fix Jax some breakfast. Finding a plain bagel, she toasted it and got a couple of pieces of fruit for him to choose from. She poured him a glass of orange juice and put everything on a tray. As a last thought, she grabbed the fresh ice pack from the freezer.

Jax was asleep when Brenda came back into the room. She adjusted one of the blinds to prevent more light from coming in. She put the tray next to his bed and gently placed the ice against his foot. He flinched, but didn't wake.

Returning to the front hall, Brenda was just in time to hear a light knock on the door. She opened it to find Lois holding a duffel bag. "Hi, Lois," Brenda said quietly. She put a finger to her lips to indicate that Jax was sleeping.

"Hey, how is he?" Lois entered the apartment and put the bag down on the floor. They both went into Jax's office and sat down.

"He's okay. Not great, but he'll be fine." Brenda proceeded to tell Lois about the night and his problems. She ended with the headache he had now. "So, hopefully, it will wear off while he sleeps or something."

"He's lucky you were here from the sounds of it. I wonder how Miranda would have handled it."

"Probably the same way, but he wouldn't have let her."

"Oh, I doubt she would have even tried. She probably would have left him in the care of the servants."

"Lois! Why would you say such a thing?" Brenda said in disbelief.

"Because it's true. You mean to tell me you don't know their marriage is practically over?"

"Over? No, it's not. Where did you ever get that idea?"

"Oh, come on, Bren, you have to be able to see it. They haven't been together in years. In fact, I don't think they were ever happy together."

"That can't be right. I would know, he would tell me." Brenda was shocked to hear this from Lois. "I knew they had problems, but everyone does." She looked at Lois pointedly, "He would tell me, Lois."

"Not necessarily. Have you told him about you and Sonny?"

"No."

"See? Then it is possible. And you don't think he knows how bad it is between you two. So why would you think that about his marriage?" A thought came to her, "It's probably because you don't want to see it."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I know you're still in love with him, Bren." Brenda looked up, surprised, but only nodded silently in concession. "You two broke up a long time ago and you, at least, regret it, right? Think about why you broke up and tell me, was it worth it? Knowing what you do now?"

Brenda contemplated the question. "No, it wasn't, but Lois, that was a different time. I didn't think I could ever forgive him. Nor did I think he could forgive me. Now, we know differently, but it's too late. We're both married to other people, remember?"

"But neither of you is happy," Lois pointed out.

"Well, I still think you're wrong about Jax and Miranda." Having said that, Brenda got up to go check on Jax.

Lois remained in the room thinking about their conversation. "Brenda is so blind to it," she said aloud. "Her love for Jax is making her shield her eyes from the problems they both have. She thinks it has to be a secret that she loves him, but it doesn't-"

"Why not?"

Lois jumped from her seat and whirled around. He was standing in the doorway, listening to everything she had said. "How much that did you just hear?" She started to panic. Brenda was going to kill her when she found that he knew!

"All of it. Why?"

"Oh, no," Lois whispered. "She's going to kill me!" He just smiled at her in response, waiting to see why it didn't have to be a secret anymore.