"Ned, you can't be serious. Please tell me you're not serious!" Brenda nearly laughed at the idea of what he'd just said, but she knew in her heart that he wasn't joking.

"I wish I could, but you know I'm not. Jax and Miranda got married for one reason. She got pregnant. And you know Jax as well as I do, he wouldn't leave her alone and in trouble, so they did the only thing he felt was right." Ned looked almost apologetic.

"But what happened then? I don't understand, Ned. It happened too quickly for that to be right..." her voice trailed off. But maybe that's why it happened so quickly. She needed to think. It wasn't making sense right now. Her entire illusion of what Jax had done was destroyed now. She needed to talk to him, and now.

Ned could tell Brenda was confused and possibly even hurt, but he didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry. I really thought he'd told you this a long time ago. He said he was going to."

"It's not your fault." But was it Jax's even? Maybe it was mine. I never gave him the chance to explain anything to me. I wouldn't listen to anything he had to say. Brenda got up from the place on the couch where she had sat down in a daze. She walked towards the door, but Ned stopped her.

"It won't do you any good right now," he said quietly, reading where she was headed.

"What won't?"

"He's asleep and you know as well as I do that if you wake him up, or even if he's awake right now, he won't be up to this conversation. You need time to absorb everything," he paused, "and remember it's all my fault now."

"Your fault?" she turned to face him.

"Yes, I shouldn't have said anything. It's not my place, and when Jax finds out, he will kill me."

"No, he won't. It's ok, Ned. You didn't know. If he told you he was going to tell me and then he never did, how were you supposed to know that? When did he tell you he would tell me, anyway?"

Ned thought about it for a minute. "I think it was just about two years ago or possibly a little more. Yeah, it was. It was a couple of weeks before you married Sonny."

So, that's why he didn't tell me. I was getting married, and he knew telling me would ruin that somehow. Brenda sat back down on the couch. She was silent for several long minutes.

"Brenda, if it helps you to know, he thought you were gone when he was with her and he wasn't thinking clearly. I don't know if you ever knew, but he was drunk that night, too. It was a mistake that he takes full blame for, but he didn't think you would ever forgive him after all that happened. I think he truly thought he was never going to see you again."

"That's a convenient excuse, but it doesn't make it any better that he didn't tell me."

"When would you have liked him to tell you? You two didn't speak for over a year. You wouldn't listen to anything he had to say for months afterward. You never went near each other. You know, He did try to tell you one time, remember?"

And she did remember. Jax had come to the apartment she shared with Lois one night and she had answered the door. He was ragged and disheveled and she thought he was drunk. It was only a few months... A few months, not even two. Oh my God. He was there to tell me. And I closed the door in his face. And she hadn't seen him again until almost a year later.

"Ned, he did try to tell me, but I wouldn't listen to him. Why didn't I listen to him?" she was close to tears as she berated herself. There was so much to think about now. She almost felt like she didn't know which way was up. Everything was different all of a sudden.

"Brenda, you had your reasons. I saw him that night, too. He came to me after he went to you. He told me what had happened. I understand what you were thinking, but he had just found out. She had just told him that night-"

"And the first place he went was to tell me?" Ned nodded silently in response. "Oh my God, Ned, what did I do?" The tears fell now. Long streams ran down her face uninhibited. Brenda fell silent again as she began to think about everything she now knew.

Ned left her to her thoughts. He got up and went to Jax's desk. He knew there was going to be a long conversation about all this very soon. He was almost as guilty as Jax. He had just told her Jax's best kept secret, apparently. He only wondered what Jax would do when he found out.

An hour later, Brenda heard a low sound coming from the direction of Jax's bedroom. She got Ned's attention and with a worried expression, she went to check on him as Ned followed behind. Just before they opened the door, Brenda heard what sounded like Jax's voice calling her name. She rushed into the room with Ned on her heels.

Jax had woken to a feeling unlike anything he'd ever had before. He tried to open his eyes, but even the low light from the window shades seared into them and he was forced to keep them shut. The pounding in his head was louder and harder than ever before. It felt like someone was hammering directly into his temples. He reached out for something, anything to hold onto. He pulled a pillow around his head and squeezed his arm over it in an attempt to stop or at least dull the pounding. It wasn't working. The pillow over his head muffled any sounds he uttered and made his anguished groans sound like the low moan Brenda had heard. The only rational thoughts that went through his mind made him call out for her. It was this that Brenda had heard.

Brenda knelt on the floor next to the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm right here, Jax," she whispered softly.

Jax was oblivious to her as she knelt there. He couldn't stop the pain in his head. It overtook every sense he had. Finally, giving up, he surrendered to the tears in his eyes and began to cry silently, unaware of anything else in the room.

Brenda didn't know what to do. She could see and feel his shoulders shaking and suspected he was in more pain than she could ever believe. She had only seen Jax cry twice and neither had anything to do with physical pain. To her, his level of pain tolerance was off the scales. She could tell he was crying now and she was helpless to stop it. A sudden look of horror came over her face. Ned looked at her questioningly. She stood up and picked something up off the table next to Jax's side. She showed it to him when she had it in her hands. It was Jax's splint, but it might as well have been a gun the way she was looking at it. What pained her most was the logic in her head that was telling her it would hurt him less later if they put it on now. He was already in so much pain, he would barely notice what they were doing, and by the time he woke up, he wouldn't feel it anymore. She pulled Ned out into the hallway to tell him her theory. He disagreed momentarily, but quickly decided it might just be the only way.

They reentered the room and Ned went to stand at the head of the bed. Brenda stood at Jax's feet with the splint in her hand. Jax was vaguely awake and still had the pillow over his head, but he was also still oblivious to them. Brenda began to tell him what they were about to do, but realized he wasn't comprehending a word she was saying. She nodded to Ned and he took a hold of Jax's shoulders firmly, but really only hard enough to keep him still. Jax didn't even acknowledge he was there. Brenda grasped his foot and when she did so, she got the first sense of a reaction from him. He flinched and pulled back, but she took it again and held fast. The longer she took, the more aware Jax became. He began to moan in response to her touch as she fit the splint around his ankle. She continued and when she got closer to his injury, his protests got louder. Even from under the pillow, she could hear him crying out in pain. She finished quickly and let go of his foot while Ned released him.

Brenda knelt next to Jax again. She saw he was squeezing the pillow even tighter around his head and his shoulders shook with his agony. After a few tense minutes that dragged on forever, everything stopped. Jax silent again as his breathing slowly became deep and even. His grip over the pillow released and his arm fell back to his side. Brenda moved the pillow to the other side of the bed. When she did, she saw that he had, in fact, succumbed to tears and his face was streaked. His hair was mussed from the pillow and she smoothed it down gently. Before she turned to leave the room, she kissed him lightly on the lips. He didn't respond to it and she knew he was in a deep sleep.

Ned was standing in the hallway when she closed the door. He hugged her quickly and they went back into the office. "God, Ned, I hope, for my sake alone, that this is almost over," she sighed. "I can't watch him like that again." It had nearly broken her heart to see him in so much pain and for her not to be able to anything about it. She sat down heavily on the couch and Ned sat opposite her. They were silent for a few minutes.

"What are you going to do, Brenda?" Ned finally asked.

"There's nothing I can do for him. We just have to wait it out."

"No, I mean about the other thing, Jax and Miranda."

Brenda sighed again. She didn't really want to think about, but it wasn't going to leave her mind anytime soon, either. "Oh, I don't know. There's so much to talk about, I don't even know where to begin. It's just so confusing now. Everything that was, everything we believed, is now different. Not just for him, but for me."

"You may not want to hear it, Brenda, but I think you should give it time before you mention it."

"Time? That's what got us here in the first place. Too much time went by, Ned. No, we're going to talk about this. Tonight, if I have anything to say about it." She was determined. There were not going to be any more secrets by the time the night was over. It was the only way. She was going to know his and he was going to tell her. But that means I have to tell him mine, too. Was she ready to do that yet?

Ned got up to do some work at Jax's desk since he knew Jax wouldn't be doing any of it that day. He wasn't going to let him even try. Brenda continued to think about everything that had happened that day. After awhile, she was too tired to think about it anymore. She told Ned she was going to take a nap and got up to go into the bedroom. She figured that if she was going to take one, it would be by Jax's side because she wasn't going to leave him alone. Ned stayed behind and continued working.

Jax was still asleep when Brenda entered the room. The look of pain had long since left his face and he was sleeping peacefully. He was on his side facing the center of the bed with the covers pulled up over him. One hand was under the pillow under his head and the other was resting lightly on her side of the bed.

Brenda quietly climbed onto the bed with him, fully clothed and careful not to disturb him. She lay facing him and closed her eyes. Her hand brushed his and they instinctively wrapped around each other. Within seconds, the worry and fatigue from the day took over and she was asleep.

The clock was just beginning to chime the five o'clock hour when Jax stirred. He rolled over onto his back and opened his eyes slowly. His head still hurt, but it was nothing but a dull throb anymore. He sat up cautiously and waited to feel the nausea or dizziness of before. There was none of it. After a minute to make sure, he breathed a sigh of relief, his face breaking into a real smile for the first time in a long time. He looked around him and saw the darkening light filtering in through the window shades. He suddenly realized Brenda was next to him on the bed. She was asleep from what he could tell and he decided to let her stay that way.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, careful not to wake Brenda. He put his left foot on the floor and noticed the splint had been put back on. He shook his head slightly as he tried to remember when they had done that. He couldn't remember it happening at all. In fact, he didn't remember much about anything from the entire day. He had a vague recollection of something happening, but he couldn't remember what it was. He reached for his crutches and got up to go into the bathroom.

Once he had the door closed, he looked in the mirror and was almost shocked by what he saw. His hair was messy, his face was pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He sighed and studied himself for awhile. He looked awful. Splashing some cold water on his face did little good, so he decided to take a shower. He maneuvered through the motions, including removing the recently replaced splint, alone and was soon standing under the hot water. The water began to relax a few of the tight muscles in his neck and shoulders. Bracing himself against the wall, he slowly stretched his entire body. He ended up taking one of the longest showers of his life, but when he was done, even he could see the difference in how he looked. A little bit of coloring was back in his face and the circles under his eyes were nearly gone. He combed through his hair with his fingers and then shaved and brushed his teeth. Wrapping a large towel around his waist, he felt like a different person. He sat down to put his splint back on. He was surprised that his foot barely twinged when he touched it. He had the splint on in record time.

He quietly opened the bathroom door and saw Brenda was still sleeping. He went into his closet and dressed in a pair of jeans and an oversized white t-shirt. Leaving his feet barefoot, he went back through the bedroom to the front hall. He thought briefly about going to the kitchen to get something to eat, but the mere thought of food was making his stomach turn over. He heard a clicking noise coming from his office and he decided to investigate. He had a good idea of what, or rather, who was making the noise.

Ned was seated in Jax's chair with his back to the door. He was typing something on the computer. He never heard Jax enter the room.

"Making yourself at home, I see, Ned," Jax said.

Ned whirled around at the voice. "Jax!" he exclaimed. He was quickly silenced when Jax put a finger to his lips. Jax didn't react in any other way to Ned's volume, so Ned figured he was indicating that Brenda was still asleep. "Jax, what are you doing up?" he said much more quietly. He went over to close the office door as extra insurance that she wouldn't hear them.

"Gee, don't sound so happy to see me," he responded.

Ned grinned. "It's just that we didn't think we would see you today. At least, not among the living. Speaking of which, you look a lot better now. How are you feeling?"

"If this looks better, I'd hate to have seen me at worse." He sat down in the chair across from his desk while Ned resumed his spot behind it. "But I think I feel better."

"You think? What do you mean? You don't know?" Ned teased.

"No, not really." He said it lightly, but it made Ned worry.

"Jax, what are you saying?"

"I don't really know." He was silent for a minute, trying to see exactly what it was that he did remember from earlier in the day. "I don't remember all that much about this morning and this afternoon. I know there was a phone call, but from whom I couldn't tell you. It was probably something big because I get this feeling something has changed in the span of a few hours. But I don't know if it's something to do with me, you, Brenda, business, or what. Ned, I don't even remember when you got here today. I had no idea you were here until I walked in this room a few minutes ago."

Ned didn't know what to say. He knew Jax had been out of it and in a lot of pain, but he had no idea it was like this. "Jax, are you serious? You don't remember anything else?"

Jax shook his head. "The last thing I remember clearly was this morning when I took those pills. I know I did, and that's probably what caused this." He hesitated to know the answer to his next question. "I can tell by your reaction that I am missing something. How bad was it, Ned?"

"What? How were you or did you want to know what you missed?"

"Both." This couldn't be good. Ned never skirted questions the way he was now.

"Well, starting with you, it was pretty bad, Jax. Brenda was seriously worried for a long time about you. So was I, for that matter, once I got here. And I only came because Brenda called me in a panic needing my help."

"Help with what?"

"You. Jax, just be glad you don't remember it."

"But I want to know. Ned, you have no idea what it's like to know you're missing an entire day. I have no idea what happened today. It's not a good feeling and I have the feeling it was worse than you're telling me. And on top of that, there's something you're not telling me at all. Now, what is it?" He was getting frustrated, but not just with Ned. He needed to know what had happened that day that he didn't know about.

"I think we should wait for Brenda to come in here before we continue this conversation," Ned backpedaled.

"Why?"

"Because she was here with you all day, I wasn't. She knows a lot more than I do about it."

"What am I supposed to do until then? I need to know, Ned." Jax sighed. He was getting more and more upset. Deciding to change courses, he said, "What about business? Anything I should know about?" He didn't really want to know, though. The thought of doing work right then had just intensified his headache.

"No, nothing that can't wait until tomorrow for attention." Ned wasn't about to let him work today. And there was nothing Jax was going to learn that he could do anything about until tomorrow anyway.

"Good," but he was secretly disappointed. Even though he didn't want to work, he needed something to take his mind off of what he wanted to know. His thoughts went back to trying to remember and he was silent for a long time.

Fifteen minutes later, Jax was still sitting in the chair and thinking. He was slouched down with his left foot on the chair across from him. He had his elbows on the armrest and his head was resting on top of his hands. Ned had turned back to the computer and was working on a draft of another business deal. They both heard the doorknob turn and the door opened to reveal Brenda standing there. Ned turned around and Jax looked up with an unreadable expression. "Brenda," he stated, "you're up." She nodded. "Good, we need to talk."

She glanced at Ned who shook his head imperceptibly. Turning back to Jax, she said, "About what?"

"Everything."