Straight from the Heart
Chapter 2
Jerry rounded the
house again with Jen on his heels. Where the devil had she gone? Finally, he
saw her standing in the middle of the yard. Jen ran to her and took her by the
arms. "Young lady, you know better than to - Oh my God, Jerry, look!"
She pointed to the man lying on the ground. Jerry only had to look once to know
it was Jax on the ground, unconscious. He rushed to his brother's side at top
speed.
"Jax! Jax,
can you hear me? Jax!" He shook him by the shoulders gently. "Jax!
Jax!" he continued to shout. He didn't even care right now that he was
scaring Jen's daughter. Jen held her daughter back so that she wouldn't be
frightened. She knew from the name that this was Jerry's brother, but she
didn't have any idea why he was on the ground.
Jax could hear
someone yelling his name, but it was a great distance away. He was surrounded
by darkness and he didn't know where he was. Vaguely, he was aware of someone
shaking him. He tried to tell them to stop, but he didn't know who it was and
his mouth wouldn't cooperate. He tried to open his eyes and with a great
effort, he finally got them to open. Slowly, the figure above him came into
focus. Jerry was kneeling over him, framed against the vibrant blue sky. He was
still shouting Jax's name.
Jerry breathed a
sigh of relief as Jax's eyes fluttered open. He saw the cloud of confusion
covering them and then it began to dissipate. "Jax! Are you okay?" He
was still kneeling over him, but he stopped yelling.
Jax shielded his
eyes from the sun and blinked several times. He sat up slowly with Jerry's
help. Then, he saw her again. She was peeking around her mother's shoulder at
him. Jerry looked at Jax and saw where he was staring. He tried to tell Jen
with his eyes that he needed a moment alone with Jax. She got the idea and
quickly took her daughter's hand to lead her inside.
Once they were
gone, Jerry turned back to Jax. "What happened, Jax? Are you okay?"
Jax was silent
for a moment. He was trying to remember exactly what had happened. "Her
name is Brenda, Jerry. Why didn't you tell me that?"
"I know,
Jax. Why didn't I tell you? Simple, I didn't get the chance. And I didn't think
you'd react this way. Why did you? Do you know?"
"Not
really. Actually, that's not true. I do know. Jerry, that little girl in there
is very familiar to me."
"How? Have
you met Jen before to know her?"
"No, that's
not it. I've seen her before, but not somewhere on the street or in a
department store or anything like that."
"Then
where?"
"It sounds
nuts to say it, Jerry, but I've seen her once before, in my dreams."
Jerry would have
laughed out loud if Jax hadn't looked so serious. "Oh, really?"
"I know, I
told you it sounded crazy. I dreamt her one night. It was a dream about Brenda
and me and the family we would have had. I pictured our daughter to look exactly
like that little girl."
"Jax-"
"So when I
saw her," he continued without pausing, "it stunned me, I guess. And
then she told me her name was Brenda. I got light-headed thinking about it and
that's all I know. Next thing I saw was you kneeling here next to me."
Jerry hesitated
before saying anything in response. "It just sounds like your head was
playing games with you. Are you okay now?"
Jax was grateful
he hadn't said anything to rebuke his dream. "Yeah, I'm fine." He got
up off the ground with the help of Jerry's extended hand.
"Good. Now,
let's go start over with them." They headed for the door and went into the
den. Jen and Brenda were sitting on the dark blue couch, waiting patiently for
Jax and Jerry. Jerry took Jen by the hand and led her to Jax. "Jen, this
is my younger brother, Jax. Jax, Jen Cross."
Jax extended his
hand to her. "Nice to meet you. Sorry about before out there." He
smiled slightly as he nodded his head toward the door.
Jen smiled back,
"No problem. And I'm guessing you already met my daughter, Brenda."
At her name, Brenda got up and went over to her mother, wrapping one arm around
her leg and standing very close to her. She looked up at Jax shyly.
"Yes, we
have met, but I don't think we got off to a very good start." He knelt
down again in front of the little girl. "Hi, I'm sorry about before. Let
me reintroduce myself," he extended his hand to her once more. "I'm
Jax. I'm this guy's brother." He gestured at Jerry.
"Hi,"
she said again, taking his hand. They shook and Jax stood up again. Brenda
gazed at the two brothers. "You don't look very much alike," she said
matter-of-factly.
Jax was floored
at her vocabulary. He looked at Jen with surprise and wonder. Then, he looked
back at Brenda. "No, I suppose you're right, but that's a good thing,
isn't it? I mean, who would want to look like him. I'm sure he'd much rather
look like me, wouldn't you think?" he grinned at Jerry's scowl.
Brenda studied
the two of them together again. She slowly nodded her head, to Jax's amusement.
"Yes, I think so, Mr. Jax," she said boldly.
Jax burst out
laughing, as did Jen. Jerry tried to look upset, but was soon laughing, as
well. Jerry left the room then with Brenda so that she could help him finish
setting up for lunch. Jax and Jen sat on the couch and got acquainted with each
other.
"That's
quite a kid you've got there, Jen. Where'd she learn to talk like that so
soon?" Jax asked.
"Thank you
and I don't have any idea. You'd be surprised at most of the things that come
out of her mouth."
They spent the
next twenty minutes talking to each other. When Jerry called them to eat, it
was easy for Jax to tell why they were together. Jen was about five feet, eight
inches tall and very athletic. Her brown hair was curly without being frizzy
and she was very beautiful. Her face lit up when she talked about how she and
Jerry met. Unbelievably, they had met in the supermarket. Jerry had actually
picked her up with a line about the quality of the produce she was holding in
her hands. Her love for her daughter was vividly apparent every time she
mentioned Brenda's name. She wasn't ashamed to tell Jax that the father had
left her after finding out she was pregnant. She had never heard from him again
and was apparently very happy about that. She was a self-sufficient woman who
worked hard for a living as a civil litigator in the Port Charles area. Jax
learned it all in less than twenty minutes. She was very easy to talk to and
very open about her life. She was bright, funny, intelligent, beautiful, and a
perfect match for Jerry. Jax definitely approved. But despite her telling him
everything about herself, she learned very little about him. He was a very
closed book when it came to his life.
They all went
out onto the back patio where Jerry put the hamburgers on the grill before they
sat down to eat their salads. Jax grew quieter as the meal went on and Jerry
became concerned. He sensed that the earlier events of the day had upset Jax
more than he was letting on, but he let it go for now. Brenda kept the
conversation going with her insightful remarks and comments.
When they were
finished and the ice cream dishes were all but licked clean, Jerry and Jen
began to clean up while Brenda talked to Jax.
"Mr.
Jax," she said to get his attention.
Jax smiled,
"Hmm?"
"What happened
to you before in the yard? Did your head hurt?" She got up and went to
stand by his chair.
He chose his
words carefully. "No, not my head exactly. But my heart hurt a
little."
"Why? Was
it because of me?"
"No, it
wasn't you. Come here," he patted his lap and she readily climbed up and
faced him. "You see, you remind me of someone I knew."
"Who?"
"A little
girl I saw one time."
"Did you
know her?"
Jax nodded.
"And I loved her very much, even though I only saw her that one
time."
"Who was
she?"
"My daughter."
She thought
about that for a moment. "Where is she now?"
Jax tapped his
heart lightly, "In here," and then his head, "and in here."
"Oh,"
she said quietly, as if she understood.
Jax knew she
didn't, so he decided to explain it to her. "I'll tell you a story,
Brenda, about someone I know who shares your name."
"Really?
You know someone named Brenda?" she was curious now and it showed in her
enthusiastic smile.
Jax nodded,
"And I like to think I still know her, better than anyone else I've ever
known and better than anyone who's ever known her."
"Even your
brother?"
"Even my
brother." He paused and when he was certain he had her attention, he began
to tell her the story he hadn't told anyone in almost three years. "I
don't tell this to just anyone, you know. In fact, it's been a long time since
I have told anyone about her. A long time ago, before you were even born, I
think, I met this girl. She was a girl then, but before long, she became a
woman. She came to my door to return something to me and the minute the door
opened, I knew she was someone I was going to want to know."
"How
come?"
"I'm not
sure, you know? She was very, very pretty and very fun to be with. We did all
kinds of things together, like flying planes, and eating foods from all over
the world, and even shopping in California. She was my best friend for a very
long time. And she was the best person I ever knew."
"Did you
love her?" Brenda knew what love was, her mother had explained it to her
once.
"More than
anything in the world," he replied without hesitation. "I still do,
even though she isn't here anymore."
"Where'd
she go?"
"Well,
after a few years of knowing each other, we both realized we were in love with
each other. You know what that means?"
Brenda nodded,
"It means you wanted to marry her." That was what her mother had told
her.
Jax smiled
wistfully. "That's right. I did want to marry her, but we were different
in that way, too. We were already married once, but a couple years later, we
decided to get married again."
"Why?"
"Because
that's how much we loved each other."
"But if you
got married, where is she now?"
"We never
actually did get married again. She died before we could."
"Died? I'm
sorry," her face grew somber.
Jax wasn't sure
how much the girl knew about death, but it was apparent that she knew enough to
know it was a very sad thing. "So am I. But I still have her with me, you
know."
"You do?
How?" her curiosity peaked again.
"She's in
my heart. She always will be. At night, I dream about her and one night I
dreamt about my family that I could have had with her. And that's when I saw
the little girl that you remind me of."
"Your
daughter?"
Jax nodded.
"My daughter." He fell silent then and Brenda watched him carefully
from her perch in his lap. "Tell you what, Brenda."
"What?"
"I'm going
to show you something that my Brenda once showed me. It was something she did
when she was about your age." He gently lifted her off his lap and put her
on the ground. Then, he took her hand and led her to a clear spot in the
backyard. He laughed at her look of surprise when he laid down on his back and
put his feet straight up in the air. "Come on," he laughed, holding
out his hand to her again. "Try it with me." Brenda laid down next to
him and put her feet up like his. "Now, see that big white cloud up
there?" She nodded. "If you move your feet like this," he began
to move his feet as if he were walking, "it looks like you're walking on
the clouds." He put his feet down when the cloud passed. "Now, you
try it. See that little white one right there? You can walk on it." She
tried and saw what he was talking about. She giggled and tried to find another
cloud to "walk" on.
Jerry and Jen
finished cleaning up the lunch dishes and went back outside. They found Jax and
Brenda still on the ground and laughing together. Jerry didn't have any idea
what they were doing and to him, they looked ridiculous on the ground with
their legs straight up in the air, moving them back and forth. He heard Jax
laugh heartily at something Brenda said or did and realized Jax was truly
having a good time with someone for the first in a long time. And that was all
that really mattered, not how ridiculous he looked doing it.
Jerry put his
arm around Jen's shoulder and smiled as they continued to watch the two play together.
"I guess all it took for Jax to smile again was another Brenda," he
mused aloud and grinned when he heard Jax laugh again.