This is an adaptation of Judith McNaught's novel, Double Standards.

Secrets and Love

Chapter 5

In the dawn of the next morning, Jax awoke to the feeling of Brenda’s arms around his waist.  He opened his eyes to find her lying across his chest, her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder.  The glorious details of their previous evening came flooding back to him and he smiled.  He shifted his head to look out the window of her bedroom and saw the sun just beginning to light the sky.  He lay silently for the next several minutes, not disturbing her at all.

Shortly after, he kissed the top of Brenda’s head lightly, gently moving his lower body out of her embrace.  Without waking her, he slid out of her arms and sat on the edge of the bed.  She adjusted slightly and drew her arms into her chest.  Moving quietly, he reached for his boxer shorts and stood to slip them on.  Jax dressed in his clothes from the night before and ran his fingers through his tousled blond hair to smooth it down.  Once more, he leaned down to kiss her lightly so he didn’t wake her up.

As he walked down her staircase, he knew she’d be mad at him when she awoke to find him gone from her bed, but he knew he had to do it.  He was falling for her - big time - but he’d already lied to her about who he was.  He needed time to figure out what to do next before she found out on her own.  He backed his Mercedes out of her driveway and drove slowly toward his apartment building.

An hour later, Brenda took a deep breath and opened her eyes, smiling.  “Jax,” she sighed.  She moved her hand to touch him and came up with nothing but a cold bed sheet.  Suddenly awake, she sat up straight, looking around the bedroom for him.  What struck her first was the fact that his shoes were not lying by the door where they’d been thrown the night before.  For that matter, none of his clothes were still lying on the floor entwined with hers.  He was gone having left silently in the early morning, she figured.

Hoping he’d been more thoughtful than she thought he had, she glanced to her bedside table in the hopes that a note might have been left for her.  One saying, “Had to leave early.  Didn’t want to wake you.  See you soon.”  Or something equally as simple, but there was nothing.

Her eyes clouded with tears as she slammed her fist on the empty bed next to her, shrieking slightly to herself.  She’d been used by him and she had sworn she’d never let another guy do that to her again.

Jax paced the length of his office, his cell phone held to his ear.  “I don’t care if you don’t like it, Ned!” he shouted, frustrated.  He shoved his free hand into his hair and glared out the window.  “You’ll make that bid whether you want to or not!”  He hung up the phone on his associate before there was a response.

He walked over to the windows that looked out on the Port Charles River and stood silently with his arms crossed in front of him.  He hadn’t seen her in two days.  She hadn’t called his cell phone or tried to contact him in any way.  He suspected she was furious with him for leaving her in bed two days before.  Running his hand over his face, he admitted to himself that it probably wasn’t the brightest idea he’d ever had.  He knew he didn’t really want to test her ability to forgive so early in their relationship.

On a whim, he walked over to his desk and picked up the phone.  He dialed the extension for Ned’s office.  While he’d just hung up with the man, Ned had been the one to call him that time.  He was protesting Jax’s bid on a small company in Milan.  Now, Jax dialed Ned’s office, hoping Brenda would pick up and that she wasn’t away from her desk. 

The phone rang twice before he heard, “Ned Ashton’s office,” in a polite, curt voice.  He grimaced visibly at her tone.  Obviously, she wasn’t in the best of moods.

“Brenda?” he asked tentatively.  He could tell from the silence on the other end that she recognized his voice.

“Jax,” she responded succinctly.  Without missing a beat, she said, “Mr. Ashton’s not in the office right now, can I give him a message for you?”

“No, you can’t.  I didn’t call for him.”

“Really, then who did you call for?  He’s the only person you can reach at this number.”

He knew it was for his benefit.  He could tell from the way the conversation was going that she was indeed angry with him.  “Brenda, please…” his voice faded as he was suddenly at a loss for words.  What had he hoped to accomplish by calling her today?  She would be happy to hear from him?  After being left, with no explanation, two days before alone in her bed?  Surely, he wasn’t dumb enough to think so.

“Please what, Jax?”  She lowered her voice to a whisper.  “Please what?  Forgive you?  Go out with you again?  I don’t think so!”  Raising her voice again to a normal level, she said, “Okay, then if there’s no message for Mr. Ashton, I’ll just tell him you called.”

“Brenda, no-“ was all he got out before she hung up the phone.

Turning in her chair to face her computer again, Brenda suddenly became aware of Lois staring at her from across the room.  She raised her eyes to look at the other woman.  “Yes, Lois?”

Lois jumped at being acknowledged during her gaping.  “Well, it’s just…”  She didn’t finish her sentence.

“What?”

Lois got up and came across the room, leaning on the ledge that went around Brenda’s desk.  “It’s just…did I hear you correctly?  Was that Jax?  The Jax?”

“Yes, that was Jax,” Brenda responded nonchalantly.  “He was calling for Mr. Ashton.”

“Oh really?” Lois said, her voice rising a few notches on the end.  “Then why did I hear you tell him you wouldn’t go out with him again?”

She blushed, not having realized Lois could hear her lowered whispers.  “Lois, don’t you think that’s kind of private?”

“Not when it’s Jax!”

“What do you mean?  I mean, obviously you know him.  Is he a friend of yours or something?”

Lois’s jaw dropped.  Brenda had no idea who she was dating!  That much was abundantly clear right now.  This new girl really had no idea the man she’d just refused was the billionaire she worked for in his own building.  How was that possible?  “Do I know him?  Honey, of course I know him!” Lois exclaimed.

“How?”

Thinking quickly and knowing she’d get the chance to speak to him very soon, she covered for him.  “He’s good friends with Ned.”

“Mr. Ashton?”

“And Nikolas,” Lois said, nodding her head.  “They’re two of his best friends.”  It was true.  When they weren’t in the office, Jax could frequently be found with one or the both of them.  As much as he yelled at them in meetings, he wasn’t really treating them any differently than the rest of his staff.  Their friendship was one of the reasons Ned and Nikolas were the Vice-Presidents they were at J&J Jacks.

“So then how do you know him?”

“Girlfriend, are you really that blind?!” Lois blurted out.

Brenda sat taken aback.  “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry.  It’s just that Ned and I have been dating for two years now.  I would have thought you’d figured that out by now.”

Brenda grinned, realization dawning in her eyes.  She remembered the looks Lois had given Ned whenever he’d spoken to her sharply.  She also remembered the tone Nikolas had used to protect her one day.  The remark had been directed more at Lois than at Ned, now that she thought about it. 

Lois spoke again.  “Surely you realize that’s why I’m not Ned’s secretary anymore.”

“I—I never realized you once were,” Brenda admitted.

“Honey, it lasted two months before it would have been considered harassment.  That man is just too irresistible.”

“He does have his finer points.”

“Yes, he certainly does,” Lois sighed.

“So, you know Jax well, too?”

“Like a brother.  So, tell me, how’d you meet him?”

Before long, tired of standing, Lois had retrieved her desk chair and brought it to Brenda’s desk.  Brenda told her the story of her encounters with Jax so far.  She ended just short of being left in bed by the man.  She did tell her he left her without explanation, she just left out the part about being in bed at the time.  “So, needless to say, I don’t think he’s worth wasting my time on.”

“I can see why you’d feel that way,” Lois sympathized.

They were interrupted by the phone on Lois’s desk ringing.  They never did get another chance to talk after that.

“Jasper Jacks, you are a snake!”  She paused.  “You’re a snake and a liar!”

Jax jumped at the voice yelling at him from his office doorway.  It was after hours and he was alone, reading contracts left on his desk by one of his execs earlier in the day.  “Lois, don’t do that!” he exclaimed.  “You scared the hell out of me!”

“Well, I’m sorry, Jax, but I had to get your attention somehow.”  She walked across the length of his office and sat in one of the chairs across his desk.

“You certainly got it.  What did you want?”  He shuffled the papers on his desk, barely glancing at her.

She shrugged nonchalantly, certain he wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to her.  “I wanted to ask you about someone.”

“Who?”  He bent down for his briefcase, rifling through it for a document.

“Brenda Barrett.”  He jerked his head up in surprise, not able to stop a slight blush from coming to his cheeks.  “I see I have your full attention now?” Lois asked, sarcastically.

“What do you want to know about Brenda?”

“I want to know why you’re lying to her, Jax!”

“I’m not,” he hedged quietly.

Lois stood up quickly, leaning her hands on his desk and getting closer to him.  “The hell you’re not!  You are lying to her, Jax!”

“What makes you think that?”  He had a sick feeling in his stomach that she might have told Brenda this theory of hers, too.

“I work with the woman!  She told me all about your dates.  She has absolutely no idea who you are, does she?  She doesn’t even know she’s working for you!”

Jax breathed a small sigh of relief.  It was becoming apparent that she hadn’t shared this news with Brenda just yet.  His secret was safe, so far.  Probably not for long, if Lois had anything to say about it.  “Lois, calm down.”

“I don’t want to calm down, Jax!  I want you to explain yourself!”  She did, however, sit back down in the chair across from him.  “Why are you lying to Brenda?”

Maybe it was a good thing she knew.  Now he at least had someone he could talk to about it.  He’d been so confused over his feelings for Brenda that he’d barely gotten any work done the entire day.  He’d yelled at Ned again, not that it had accomplished anything.  His best friend was going to hate him soon, too, if he kept this up.  Obviously, his best friend’s girlfriend was furious with him.  “Lois, you don’t understand,” he began.

“Try me, Jax,” she said in a steel tone.

“I didn’t start out meaning to do this to her, I swear.  It was innocent enough.  I found her near the construction site across the street.  She tripped and fell in the rain and I was helping her out.  It turned out she had just been turned down for a position with this company and she was regretting it.  I just helped her get the job.”

“And in the process didn’t tell her who exactly she would be working for.”

He sighed deeply.  “Right, something like that.”

“So then why did you date her?”

“Have you seen her, Lois?” he said before he could stop himself.  He blushed again slightly.

Lois bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud.  “Have you slept with her yet?”  When a few minutes went by without an answer, she knew anyway.  “No wonder she’s so mad at you, Jax.  Let me guess, you didn’t stick around in the morning either, did you?”

Jax leaned forward and put his head in his hands with his elbows resting on the desk.  “I’ve really screwed this up, haven’t I?”

“There’s still one thing I don’t get, though.”

He looked at her between his fingers.  “What’s that?”

“Why didn’t you just tell her who you were?”

“I did.  I told her my name was Jax, and it is,” he argued meekly.

“You know that’s not going to fly with me, Jasper,” Lois said sternly.

“Because…Because, come on, Lois.  Who in their right mind wants to be a secretary for and date me?  I couldn’t very well tell her who I was after I got her the job.  And I couldn’t tell her before, either, or she’d think I pulled strings.”

“Didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, but it’s not the point.  Besides, you haven’t seen her when we’re together.  She doesn’t see me just for my money or power or whatever else there is.  She sees me and only me.”  He took a deep breath and looked Lois dead in the eyes.  “For the last few years, I’ve dated nothing but bimbos, Lois.  You’ve even told me that straight out.  I’ve never been in love with any of them.  I never could have loved any of them.  They only wanted to be around me because I have money and J&J Jacks.”

“Like Ashley?” Lois asked quietly.

He nodded in return.  “Like Ashley.  She’s the perfect example, Lois.  If I hadn’t stopped it with her, she’d still be here thinking I was going to put some ridiculously huge engagement ring on her finger or something.  She was nothing more to me than a stranger could be.  And that’s all I’ve had recently.”

He didn’t mention Tracy or the fact that it still stung to know that the woman he had fallen in love with wasn’t who he thought she was.  He’d found that out the hard way.

“I thought that was all you wanted,” she said, prodding him.  She still remembered Tracy and the pain she had caused Jax for the years after it had happened.  She didn't know all the details, but Ned had filled her in on what Jax hadn’t.  Jax had become a different person after his engagement to Tracy.

“It was, I thought,” he said honestly.  “And then I met Brenda.  Lois, she’s everything I could ever want.  She’s smart, and funny, and kind, and beautiful.  She’s open and honest.  I know I can trust her.  Is that crazy?  I’ve only known her for a little while, but I feel like I can trust her with anything I know.”

“So why don’t you?”

He sighed.  She was right and he knew it.  “I don’t know,” he said softly.

The following day, Brenda was at her desk when another secretary came in carrying a huge file folder and a book.  She watched as the other woman hefted both items onto Lois’s desk and sighed.  “What’s all that, Marianne?” she asked curiously.

The other woman smiled.  “Oh, it’s just something Lois does for Mr. Jacks sometimes.  She likes to keep a record of his press clippings and articles.  She used to say it was for the legal department, something about accurate quotes and whatnot, but I think it’s just so she can look at his pictures.”  She winked and grinned at Brenda.  “The man is just so handsome!”

Brenda shrugged.  “He is, is he?  I wouldn’t know, I don’t think.  I can’t recall ever seeing a picture of him.”

Marianne’s jaw dropped.  “Honey, you don’t know what you’re missing!  You would be doing yourself a big favor just to take a look in here!”  She laughed.  “Anyway, would you tell Lois I brought this to her?  I’d appreciate it!  Thanks, bye!”  She was gone in another second.

Brenda looked at the book curiously where it sat on Lois’s desk.  She should know who she worked for, shouldn’t she?  And it wasn’t like she’d be snooping, either.  They were public photos and articles, after all.  Glancing around, telling herself it was just so she would know who he was, she got up from her desk slowly.

She approached the big leather-bound photo album cautiously.  She moved the file off the book and opened the cover.  On the first page, in one of those static cling photo pages was a newspaper article about Jasper Jacks.  The headline read, “J&J Jacks a Huge Success in First Year of Business.”  The article outlined the financial windfall of the company and how skilled Jasper Jacks must be to have gotten so far so quickly.

The next page, as she turned it, held two more articles.  One was from another newspaper, the other from a magazine.  They were dated two months later than the first one.  Brenda sighed disappointedly as there were no pictures alongside either one.  She flipped one more page.

Starting with the caption above the picture, she read, “Jasper Jacks and escort, Ashley Brent, at this year’s Nurse’s Ball.  Mr. Jacks was the underwriter for the event.”  Brenda looked at the grainy photo below the caption.  She immediately recognized the blonde woman as the woman at Katherine and Stefan’s party.  Her eyes took in the man on Ashley’s left.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed furiously.

 

Chapter 6

 

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