Week Of October 29
Taurus: (April. 20--May 20): Lots of people go on to success after experiencing this initial misfortune, take John Bobbit for example.
Gemini: (May 21--June 21): The Gohst of Harry Carey invades your bed; Unfortunately now every time you come on yourself you hear, 'Cubs Win, Cubs Win!!'
Cancer: (June 22--July 22) A Leo will figure prominantly in your horizonl A Sagittarious takes you from behind
Leo: (July 23--Aug. 22)l Your life will be a country music song; long, boring, repetitive, and full of pain and sufferimg; booze
Virgo: (Aug. 23--Sept. 22); YOU SHALL BURN IN THE LAKE OF FIRE HEATHEN
Libra: (Sept. 23--Oct. 23); Simply
Scorpio: (Oct. 24--Nov. 21); Go to the store, buy three tubes of ky jelly, a big jar of peanut butter and wait for me in the Bus Station without underpants on
Sagittarius: (Nov. 22--Dec. 21); GEORGE W BUSH WILL BE ELECTED BECAUSE YOU DIDN't VOTE
Capricorn: (Dec. 22--Jan. 19) ;; (define (horroscope pain1 pain2 pain3) (random (pain1 pain2 pain3)) -> 'You are lynched by Queen Latifa fans'
Aquarius: (Jan. 20--Feb. 18);; Ive run out of ideas
Pisces: (Feb. 19--March 20); Im tired and Im going to bed