Horrorscopes
Week Of

Aries: (March 21--April 19):  Many beutiful women will come to visit you this weekend, unfortunately you are in Oklahoma.

Taurus: (April. 20--May 20):  You find yourself wandering the streets saying 'Ten dolla I love you long time'

Gemini: (May 21--June 21):  Fuck the Gemini, I fuckin hate its guts.


Cancer: (June 22--July 22):  You'll get cancer


Leo: (July 23--Aug. 22):  You'll parade around with a chinaman shoved up your ass.


Virgo: (Aug. 23--Sept. 22):   You will drink yourself into a stupor.  You will then smoke youself retarded.  Oops, that was last weeks hororscope.

Libra: (Sept. 23--Oct. 23):  You will have sharp, rectal pains.  Remove Rhinosorous and proceed.


Scorpio: (Oct. 24--Nov. 21):  Devil man.  Devil.  666 mark of the beast.  Naughty jungle of love. No.


Sagittarius: (Nov. 22--Dec. 21):  We all have to die sometime, you're just gonna die a lot sooner.


Capricorn: (Dec. 22--Jan. 19):  'Dave' succesfuly gets a drunken girl into bed.  Turns out its Pee Wee Herman.