How NOT to pack a backpack.
It weighs 95 pounds!
Comes complete with a comfy pillow, a gallon of apple juice
a gallon of gas, a Coleman lantern, a sharp machete,
a double-burner stove, a double-headed ax, a huge handsaw,
25 pounds of lead (in case of nuclear attack), a can of spam,
and a CHAINSAW!
Who needs a sleeping bag or a tent, anyway?