There is no place like foam.

I will stop at nothing. I will eat you alive. I will sacrifice my own body. I will suffocate no longer. I will try to do the best I can, when I can. I will climb a mountain. I will beat everyone. I will die twice. I will postpone my wedding. I will be absent at my funeral. I will jump higher than a house (because houses can't jump). I will open a container of salt. I will produce garbage. I will take time to learn how to play teh piano correctly. I will frequently visit the supermarket, not for food, but just for the heck of it. I will light candles and lanterns, nightly. I will try to become a monk in the privacy of my own home. I will buy a plane ticket to New Hampshire and miss the flight on purpose. I will complain about the weather constantly. I will kill animals just beause I like the smell. I will go to school to becaome a doctor and not care about other people's lives. I will try to run for president but then realize that I don't have enough money for the campaign. I will start my own cult. I will volunteer at soup kitchens. I will be the most popular senior at my high school. I will cooperate with my family. I will judge no one. I will drink to much vodka and then go to AA meetings and make fun of everyone else. I will buy a house and then live in it. I will hurt only those that hurt me. I will justify everything. I will drive alone all the time and never pick up hitch-hikers unless they have a lot of spare time. I will eat at restaurants. I will wake up at the same time everyday and fall asleep one minute earlier every night until I am awake for only one minute out of everyday. I will stop sleeping altogether after that. I will challenge complete strangers to a game of poker. I will cease to exist in relative time. I will write four novels and a book of short stories under the name Ralph West. I will play the saxaphone in a heavy metal band. I will be wealthy. I will have 7 identical cars for everyday of the week. I will not explode after everytime someone says the word "cool". I will take my time whenever I do a jigsaw puzzle. I will read nursey rhymes to my 3 year old daughter. I will harm others unintentionally. I will wish for selfish things. I will start to race go-carts in my neighborhood. I will have sex with my sister. I will over charge customers at convenience stores that I don't work at. I will get a job. I will stop making up stupid things that I most likely not do, just because I don't think that it is really me.