back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes
back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste
better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two
brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all
left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together." The bartender admitted that this is a nice custom.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three
pints and drinks them in turn
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to
intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then it occurs to him what's happening. "Oh,
no," he says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
chance, each of them gets a fly in his mug. The Frenchman sees the fly, gags, and throws
down his mug in disgust. The Scotsman sees the fly in his mug, stares at it for a few
seconds, shrugs his shoulders and drinks his beer anyway. The Irishman sees the fly in his
mug and reaches in and pulls it out. Then he starts shaking the fly and yelling "Spit it
out! Spit it out!"
closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures that he will crawl
outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he tries again to stand up and falls flat on his face. So the Irishman crawls
home. At the door he again tries to stand up, only to fall flat on his face. So he then
crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time
to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting. "So you've been out
drinking again!"
"How did you know?" he asks.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
