Words to Live By

Since many of these will make very little sense to the general public, we've tried to explain them as much as possible. Which isn't very much considering what lazy dumbasses we are. Have at 'em anyway.
 

K - Kathy
M - Melissa
B - Both

(In air.)
K: "Feel that? That's the plane."

K: "That's a nice plastic bag."
M: "Yeah, just get rid of the stuff inside."

M: "Claw at the armrests! It's the only way out!"

(At Dallas Love Field Airport after buying coffee.)
K: "This money looks like our money!"
M: "Yeah, soon we'll have to switch to New Pesos."

(Five minutes after being screened at Love Field.)
K: "Remember when we got screened?"

B: "Just do a line. You'll be fine."

(Putting on harnesses at ropes course.)
K: "It's like what Spidey wears, only less!"
M: "I bet Harry likes it when Spidey wears less."

(Right before ropes course.)
K: "Let's get ready to expose ourselves!"

(After ropes course.)
K: "That was way harder than second grade gymnastics."
M: "What're you talking about? Second grade gymnastics was a bitch."

K: "There's no way out."
M: "Except for the exit."
K: "Yes, but who knows where that may lead."
M: "Except out."
K: "Still, it's just too risky."

(Anatomical conversations.)
K: "Deltoid? Has that always been there?"
M: "It's not a new-fangled muscle."

K: "Ahahaha--OW! Freakin' deltoid!"

(About Melissa's sexy vegetarian.)
M: "I like the way you look in them pants."
K: "Vegetarian pants?"
M: "Vege-pants? Pants-tables?"
K: "They're free range."

(Superhero discussions.)
B: "Wolver-emo? FWOO-SHHT."

(Trying to be abstract.)
K: "What does the cup represent? How the universe bulges out, and needs protection?"

(...)
K: "Oh, grandma."
K: "Oh, Tobias. And all his Maguireses."
K: "Oh, Meltoid."
K: "Oh, Harry."

K: (As Batman) "Come, Robin!"

K: (As Batman) "Come, Robin! To the batcave! No, no. Not that one."

K: (As Batman) "Don't worry, Robin. Just hold my hand."
(As Robin) "Senor, that is not your hand."

K: "Sometimes during lunch. Sometimes as lunch."

K: "Elbows? Is that what you call them?"

K: "They hover around them!"
M: "Like feces?"
K: "... Hovering feces?"

K: "OW! My delthies!"

K: (As Melissa) "Scotch on the rocks, please. No ice."

M: "Who would want to be touched by an angel?"
K: "I don't know. Why would someone want to be touched by an angel? *Raises leg*"
M: "YOU KEEP YOUR LEG DOWN."

(While watching Batman marathon.)
M: "The only two men in the world born without nipples."

K: "On the other hand, Superman has come out."

K: (As Batman) "Here, Robin. Taste the sweet bliss."
(As Robin) "But senor, it is not sweet."

K: "Melissa? Is that you in the shower? Who're you talking to? What's that? Must go faster?"

(Kathy and Harmony are watching TV. Melissa opens door to room.)
M: "Hey, guys. What're you doing?"
TV: "You're watching Gay Pride Day."

(Before laundry.)
M: "You don't wash your underwear, do you?"

(Raining outside.)
K: "Was that you? Or thunder?"
M: "... It was me..."

HARMONY: "That's crazy! And interspecies. It's not like Spider-Man who's half man. And Batman who's half-man--"
M: "Batman's all man!"
K: "I bet Robin knows all about that."

K: "I can't sit without exposing myself."

M: "Ah! My stick is showing!"

M: "I like my bitches just like my peanut butter: thick and chunky... Don't look at me like that."

K: "Why do you have to be spooning? Why can't you be knifing?"
M: "Because knifing is--"
K: "Oh, that's right. But what about fork--"

K: "Batman, stop eyeing that young boy."
M: (As Batman) "*Lowers finger* Okay..."

M: "Old habits die hard."
K: "Just like old men."
M: "What?"

K: "Always from New Jersey."

M: "Oh, Mr. Otci. So hot. Especially in meal form. What a hot Ot-meal."