A More Perfect World

Part one

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Dawson and Joey celebrate their fifth year anniversary. Everything that happens right up until the end of DC has happened.

updated __________________________________________________________________________________________

Yawning, Joey had to fight to get out of bed that morning. She turned over on the soft sheets and smiled at her husband, who was lost in the solace of sleep. He�d have to be�she�d given him a thorough working out the night before. It had been hard getting out of bed when she was a newlywed, even harder when it was your five year anniversary tonight.

She brushed her hand through his hair, which was spiky and blonder than ever in the sunlight which spilled into the room, promising a beautiful day in New York. She tried to get out of bed but he held on to her, grumbling something in his sleep.

�Sweetie,� she whispered, trying to detangle his hands from her waist. �Hmmm,� he murmured, and his eyes opened. �Where are you going?�

�Work.� She tried to slip out but he pulled her back, and slid her onto his body. �Not yet��

�Dawson, this isn�t a good morning for me to be late,� she laughed breathlessly, feeling him hard against her already.

He rubbed the thin muscles in her back and kissed a trail down her neck. �Dawson�� she struggled half- heartedly.

�Sorry Jo�� he kissed her ear and lay back, watching her get up, rubbing her arms and sighing, �You are so in trouble tonight.�

�I�m looking forward to it,� he called back, folding his arms behind his head, wincing. Served him right. Now he was going to have a hard-on all morning. The last thing he needed, since his job meant he was walking around all the time, talking to people, fixing things. He heard the shower turn on and saw Joey walk across the bathroom naked, brushing out her long brown hair. How many times did he look at her like that, and still she took his breath away?

She was ready within minutes, elegant in a navy pantsuit, smiling she came out of the bathroom blow-drying her hair straight (It actually had a natural wave she had been straightening since she was thirteen.) She stood in front of the mirror attaching her earrings, and smiled softly at Dawson�s reflection. He was still in bed, just watching her. She had darkened her hair�or just let it color naturally, he noticed. It suited her, made her look younger, a reminiscent of a Joey at seventeen, except a little thinner, stylish and instead of gazing adoringly at his best friend Pacey she was gazing at him.

He toyed with his thoughts a moment.

�Have you been thinking�lately� about�having a baby?� he blurted out casually.

He adjusted his pillow behind his head and watched as Joey turned around, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

�A baby?� her mouth twitched.

�Yeah�like, us, having a baby.�

�Where does this come from?� she put down her eyelash curler.

He shrugged, smiling. �I don�t know exactly. It was just a thought. It�could be, uh, fun?�

�The making part,� Joey grinned slyly him.

�But we�ve�looked after our share of babies, and�they need a lot of attention.�

�I know that�we know that.�

�Oh Dawson�� she went over and sat on the bed. �I definitely want a baby, but right now I have the��

�The publishing,� He said it as a statement, neither negatively nor positively.

�Yes,� Joey replied softly. She leaned on his chest. �But if you want, we could do some�practicing this afternoon. I have it off, especially for us.�

�You sure will,� he replied huskily, kissing her steamily.

�What have you got planned for tonight?� she asked, coming up for air, kissing his temple and ruffling his hair, and then leaving short, hot kisses on his mouth and jaw. She stole a look at the bedside clock: 7:30.

�Umm�I was thinking take out Chinese, beer, we can watch the game and then maybe if you�re lucky, sex?�

Joey grabbed her bag and poked her tongue out at him. �My Romeo.�

�Bye Jo,� he blew her a kiss and smiled after her.

He had planned to stay in bed a while, sleep, daydream about her naked, and then hop into the shower and sleep there for another hour, then make a huge breakfast and watch sports on Fox. It was his half-day off, after all. He was recovering from collapsing from exhaustion a few weeks ago.

Within five minutes of her leaving, however, he got a call from the office---�An emergency. Clare wants more money.� So they called Dawson the peacemaker, he grumbled to himself, starting to get dressed. On the way over there his thoughts drifted to the baby thing. It wasn�t like he was getting clucky; god, he was still young, just thirty. And they�d been married for just five years. Maybe he was just curious.

It wasn�t like they had the time: they could barely get together for lunch, let alone look after a baby. Besides, they still went out a lot, partied with their friends who were still more or less living in the city. They were in their prime. And Pacey, who himself had a kid, always said: �Once you have a baby, forget sex.� And after not being with Joey for so long the last thing he wanted was to not make love to her.

He liked babies, always had. And their baby would be extra special. Joey�s eyes, maybe his hair. There was nothing he�d love more than to make something like a baby with her. Well�maybe he could look after it most of the time, and let Joey stay at work. He could just �argue his case� like she always did.

As he drove he checked his mobile messages�one from Audrey, one from Joey. Ah, his two favorite girls.

�Hi sexy,� that was Audrey �Just thought I�d ring to wish you guys a happy anniversary! Five years, can you believe it? I can. Well, sort of,� a sweet, throaty laugh from his one time lover. He smiled audaciously.

�Anyway, Pacey�s going to call you, but he�s having a party this weekend, so keep it free, okay? Lots of drinking�scandals�sex�rock and roll�and that�s just before Layla�s gone to bed.� Layla was their daughter. They weren�t together anymore but they lived together so raising Layla would be easier.

�Have a looovely night tonight, and try not to over-exhaust yourselves, if you know what I mean. Bye hon.�

He laughed out loud, turning down the radio before he clicked to the next message, from Joey, which had been sent about ten minutes ago.

�Hi,� her sweet breathy voice came over the intercom. �Just rang to tell you Pacey�s planned this big bash this weekend�things seem to be good between us now. I don�t blame him for not talking to me for a year, though. After all I did run away with you to Italy the night before our engagement party. Do you even know what I want to do to you right now? I�m in a lift all by myself for once, so I can talk dirty.� She said it as if she was telling him what groceries to pick up, but with a breathy tilt. �I want to suck your cock, and then I want you to fuck me against the wall of the lift� See you this afternoon.�

Luckily he got the car straightened before he swerved into a pole. He had to remind her not to leave messages like that on his phone while he was driving.

Chills went down his spine as his mind drifted to Joey and her mouth wrapped around his�oohkay. Five years married and she still surprised him. It must be the editing thing�she got so stressed at work she has to let it out somehow. What better way then to ride something? He was slightly appalled at his own primitiveness, and turned the radio up.

***

Joey checked her watch: 10:30. Wow. That meeting went fast. The writer had agreed to the contract and now they had a deal�a new book on marriage and the city. Something Joey knew all about, but she and Dawson were different to the usual New York married couples that had affairs and fought in public delis. They had better things to do. They worked hard, had dinner with Jack and Amy or other friends, ate at restaurants all over and saw old foreign movies on Sunday afternoons.

Sometimes she couldn�t believe how it had turned out. She had been certain she�d be with Pacey for the rest of her life. But she had slowly, gradually, started to fall for Dawson after he moved to NY for his new career at the network. It wasn�t just that he was sweet and handsome, but that their friendship just grew stronger and stronger until Joey realized all she could think about was him. She was fifteen again and infatuated.

Thinking about Dawson 24/7 didn�t leave much room to think about her fianc�e, Pacey. Unfortunately she didn�t think to break it off until the night before their engagement party. It hadn�t been pretty and Joey still cringed thinking about it. Relations between her and Pacey now were still strained. She supposed she had made it worse by accepting Dawson�s invitation to go to Italy with him where he was going to meet some investors. By the time the plane had landed back in New York City two weeks later, they were married and couldn�t keep their hands off each other. Love was cruel, and yet love was so wonderful at the same time.

****

�By the way, happy anniversary�� Dawson whispered in his wife�s ear while they were dancing, and she giggled into his neck. �You too. Five years. That�s very good for us.�

�I know. I would have thought we�d have killed each other by now,� his grip on her waist tightened and she looked up at him with a sly, knowing smile. �Not yet, darling.� They were at an outdoor restaurant by the ocean. He had surprised her with a night at a resort. Because it was October the island was practically empty except for the odd tourist and the Islanders. It was oddly beautiful in winter, the sea a dark blue, the quietness compelling.

While they danced to a well-known jazz song he admired her subtly. She looked striking in a simple red silk strapless dress she�d bought for one of his film functions the previous year. She�d needed his help to zip the bodice/corset type dress up, but it was a snap to get it off, it just floated to the ground. His hands wandered over her waist and up her back, and she nibbled his ear, getting him hard.

�Joey�� he said incredulously in a low voice, his hand lingering over the small of her back. �Are you�uh�wearing�anything under this?�

�Oh yes, of course. Something��

She smiled archly and took his hand, and had to lead him back to the table.

They ordered desert and she held his hand as she chattered, �Remember our first apartment? In Chelsea? The one with the bare floorboards and no heating? We had to sleep on top of each other to keep warm.�

�Oh, god, that was horrible,� Dawson chuckled, remembering being so cold he�d wake up with stiff muscles and a sore groin, which had reacted to having his wife sleeping inside his coat all night. She�d usually relieve it for him, and they�d make crazy love in the coat until the next apartment banged on the wall with a broom.

�Our first Christmas was there�� she trailed her finger down his jaw and he sucked on it for a moment, capturing her eyes. �And we sung those ridiculous Christmas hymns to keep us warm.�

�That sucked,� he kissed her index finger, playing with her wedding band.

�And we got stoned and went on top of the Empire State, and we were convinced the building was moving,� Dawson added, shaking his head.

�And all we did was work, watch movies, go to parties and get drunk and have lots of sex�I�ll never forget it�� she sighed, fingering her necklace.

�But this�� she pointed around her. �Is nice. I can�t wait to get back to the house.�

�If we get that far.�

�Hmm, sand in my crotch,� Joey breathed teasingly, feeding her husband some of her ice cream.

�More then that in your crotch.�

�Dawson!�

****

A trail of clothing led to the carpeting in front of the fireplace, which was going on a medium heat. They were both lying on the carpet, lost in each other. Dawson was kissing her inner thighs, opening her legs gently as she tipped her head back, awaiting the sensations.

After a few blissful moments she got up and sat astride him. She sank her silkiness onto his hardness, entertaining him with a deliberate moan. The feel of his cock, so thick in her, was so stimulating, so amazing. She had to fight to keep her eyes open.

She watched him closely and reached down to feel their join as he closes his eyes. She closed her eyes and murmured his name, making a soft little high-pitched noise as she started to glide up and down on him, and he bucked his hips up to hers, burying himself deeper, his fingers biting into her hips and buttocks as he held her, her hands moving from touching her breasts to tantalizingly grazing her nails softly over his torso.

How beautiful, Joey thought a few moments later as she watched her husband sleep in her arms, the light from the fire flickering on his face, for a baby to be born out of that. She hoped she was pregnant soon.

She touched her stomach again and then fell asleep.

****

TO BE CONTINUED

PART TWO

�What do you think about�Hawaii for Valentines day?� Dawson asked Joey over coffee at one of the many Starbucks in New York City.

Joey smiled into her mocha frappachino. It was nice being married to a man who made seven figures�and who also happened to be her best friend.

�Hawaii sounds nice�but you spoil me�� she replied, grazing her foot up the underside of his leg.

�I don�t do enough for you�the four seasons resort�Maui�how does it sound?�

�I�ve never been, I wouldn�t know,� Joey teased him.

�Its gorgeous. Like you.� They kissed. Sometimes it was just too ridiculous the way they acted like newlyweds when they had in fact been married six years, their longest relationship with another person ever.

Audrey and Pacey never tired of commenting how gross it all was. One of Audrey�s jokes was that Dawson would walk into a brick wall for his wife. The worst thing to happen was when Pacey and Audrey had accidentally walked in on a very intense moment between the couple, some time before they were married in Italy, on Dawson�s old bed in Capeside. They had never let them forget it, and Joey and Pacey hadn�t been able to look each other in the eyes for at least a year and a half without remembering the sweat-induced panicked moment. Audrey and Dawson however just joked about it, which made Joey uncomfortable.

�And�maybe being so relaxed we might�you might get�you know�� Dawson prodded softly. Joey knew what he was talking about and she smiled, although she felt a flutter of irritation which had no more to do with then than it did with the fact they had been fucking each others brains out for almost a year, and�nothing. No baby. Not that she minded the procreation.

�Hey.� Dawson sensed her annoyance and held her hand. �It�ll be fine, trust me.�

****

�It doesn�t make any sense.� Joey was telling Audrey later on that day at lunch in the Chicken Grill. �We�ve been having sex every day for a year, and without a condom.� Audrey flickered her left brow, amused to note some businessmen had subtly stopped talking to listen in. Joey didn�t notice.

�Which by the way feels really good�� Audrey nodded in agreement. �But all that sperm�gone to waste. We�ve been doing it with me underneath, on the top, on the side, in front�� �I like this new topic of conversation.� Audrey said. �But I�m a little disturbed by it, seeing I once saw you two in that�what is it called? Frontal position? You know, with you on top?�

Joey cocked her head to one side and blushed beetroot red. �Audrey�lets not got there right now! I�m being serious. There�s something wrong with me.�

�Or Dawson�� Audrey pointed out.

�Oh god.� Joey put her head in her hands.

�Or none of you and you�re being paranoid,� Audrey soothed, patting Joey�s hair.

�Sweetie, I�m sure its nothing. You know what? I bet when you come back from Hawaii you�ll have more than a tan.�

Joey poked her head up and nodded begrudgingly.

�Maybe.�

�Besides�I thought you were the one who wasn�t in a hurry��

Joey shrugged, blushing. �Dawson kind of�talked me into it. And now all I see is babies. Everywhere. Small, beautiful babies, and I want one. Like your Layla.�

�Trust me, they�re not all they�re cracked up to be,� Audrey said wryly.

�I guess I�m just�surprised,� Joey reasoned. �I�m used to more or less getting what I want in my career, and Dawson and I were so perfect, that a baby seemed like the�perfect solution. And its taking longer then expected.�

�Exactly.� Audrey rubbed Joey�s arm. �You�re free to babysit Layla if you ever have any maternal yearnings...�

Joey bit into her chicken sandwich.

**** After confirming his credit card details with the travel agent, Dawson readied to leave the office. As he was walking out he got lost in his thoughts. He hoped Hawaii would relax her�he knew Joey was a little�anxious lately. He hoped he hadn�t put any pressure on her�he hadn�t meant to, not really. He chided himself for mentioning getting pregnant that morning at breakfast, and hoped Joey wasn�t thinking about it too much. He was trying not to; he was confident it would happen. Joey wasn�t even thirty-one. Heck, his mother had had Lily in her forties.

In the meanwhile, it had been an incredibly fun year�for the most part. He didn�t think he had had so much sex in his life�not even in those blurry sex-crazed months with Jen, his first lover. Joey had really surprised him with her wild antics, reading up new positions in books and initiating sex in the weirdest places�once, in their old rowboat, which didn�t work too well and he started to feel seasick.

But lately he knew she thought of their sex as�dare he think it�a means to an end� a chore, a baby machine.

She hadn�t even seemed to enjoy it last time they did it, the way she usually did. She was just too tense�nothing would loosen up no matter how he tried. And then she wouldn�t even want to have sex at all, citing they needed to take a break for say, 72 hours. He couldn�t believe Joey was acting like this at all�she had never, ever, shown interest in getting pregnant or starting a family, or even liking babies, not when they were kids, teenagers and not even in the first two or three years of their marriage.

They were meeting up for dinner at a sushi place in SoHo with Jack and his adopted daughter Amy, who was now eight, and the splitting image of Jen.

He saw Joey walking down the road first, chatting away on her cell, fresh looking in jeans and a black blouse and boots, her long hair swishing around her shoulders. A few guys checked her out on the way and Dawson chuckled.

�I gotta go,� she said, talking to her college professor�s daughter. She tucked her cell into her handbag and walked into Dawson�s arms, kissing him softly on the mouth. �Hi�� she smiled up at him.

�Hi yourself.�

He escorted her into the restaurant.

�What�s new?� �We�re leaving for Hawaii next weekend.�

�Oh�� Joey patted his cheek. �You shouldn�t have.� �I know, I spoil you. Hi guys�� Dawson kissed Amy�s blonde head, and clapped Jack on the back.

�What�s up, my favorite hetero?� Jack asked. �Nothing, my favorite queer,� Dawson joked.

�Stop that.� Joey laughed, sitting down and settling Amy on her lap. Delighted at being the center of attention, Amy started to talk about school and her teachers and this incredibly annoying boy for the next ten minutes until their appetizers arrived.

Joey listened, rapt, gazing adoringly at Amy, while Dawson and Jack tried to get in other conversation. Watching Joey kiss, cuddle and play with Amy who was tiny for being eight, Dawson suddenly realized why Joey suddenly wanted to become a mom. And a surge of uneasiness washed over him. What if�?

****

To Be Continued

PART THREE

�The weather was great. The storm hit barely seven hours after we left�� Dawson was telling Audrey and Pacey at Luigi�s Pizza place in Greenwich Village, near their apartment they shared with their three-year-old daughter, Layla, who was dripping her milk in her cheese pizza. Her soulful brown eyes matched Pacey�s, her thick blonde hair a carbon copy of Audrey�s.

Audrey and Pacey laughed and joked with Dawson about the Hawaiian food, weather and flying eight hours as Joey just picked at her pepperoni pizza.

She had enjoyed the romantic vacation away, had been impressed with Hawaii and its beaches, warm water and sunsets. She and Dawson had had candlelit dinners on the beach and had gone swimming almost every day. It had reminded her of their honeymoon on the Greek Islands. But since they had been back in New York, she had been feeling ill.

�Joey, bunny, are you okay?� Audrey spoke up mildly.

Pacey and Dawson turned to Joey, who was looking a bit pale.

�Um�I think so.� Joey said strangely. She stood up. �Excuse me�I have to go to the bathroom.�

They watched her leave.

�What is with Joey lately?� Pacey commented.

Dawson and Audrey exchanged looks.

�She�s just�moody. And stressed out at work,� Dawson explained. �And we�re�she�s�trying to get pregnant.�

�Ah.� Pacey said quietly. �I see. I guess�it�s just easier for some people than others.� He looked down at Layla, who grinned up at him, cheese stuck on her teeth.

�It�ll happen�� Dawson shrugged, �Just not as quickly as we thought.�

Audrey stood up. �I�ll go check on her.�

Dawson thanked Audrey with his eyes.

A few minutes later, Audrey rushed out, her cell phone to her ear. �Dawson�honey�� she said in hushed tones, �Joey�s just had a miscarriage.�

�What?� Dawson exclaimed.

�I just called the hospital, but we�re less than two blocks away so we can drive her, okay? Pacey? Will you take Layla home?�

Pacey nodded, shocked into silence.

****

When Joey was cleaned up, dosed up on painkillers and lying in the hospital bed, her face stony, she barely registered when Dawson hugged her tight, pulling her head to his chest and then burying his head into her neck. Audrey, who was sitting off to the side fought back tears.

A few hours later, Joey encouraged Audrey to go home and asked the same thing herself to the doctors.

�I feel better, really,� she argued with Dawson and Audrey, slowly sliding into her jeans and discarding the ugly hospital gown.

�I just want to sleep in my own bed.�

Audrey sighed and kissed Joey lovingly on the temple. �I�ll call you tomorrow, sweetie.� Joey nodded numbly. �Whatever�� Audrey left, patting Dawson�s back soothingly.

�Jo��

�Don�t start.� Joey interrupted her husband, putting her hand up. �Not now, not ever, okay?�

�You�re not fine.� Dawson said quietly. �You�re distraught. You�re in shock��

�I�m fine!� Joey hissed.

�It�s always been like this.� Dawson said angrily.

�You pull away because you�re scared, and then you lie about it.� Joey�s bottom lip quivered, and Dawson reached for her but she snatched away.

****

Joey busied herself the next Friday night getting the spare room ready for Lily, who usually came up to spend a couple of weekends with them every summer, then they brought her back and spent a night or two with Gale. Gale had gently suggested they just go down to Capeside instead, but Joey brushed her off, telling her she�d love to have Lily. She needed Lily to get her mind of losing the baby she didn�t even know she was carrying. The doctors could have told her how old it was but Joey didn�t want to know.

Bessie had just been up for a few days, trying to offer advice but all Joey felt was anger�why did everything have to be so hard? And why was she pulling away from Dawson? She loved him more than life itself and yet�she failed him. They hadn�t touched each other since Dawson had hugged her the night she lost the baby. Almost a week. She had stayed home and organized their apartment, which had been verging on the messy side for a while since they had been busy either a) working or b) screwing.

She could hear laughter in the hallway, and knew Lily was here. She brightened up a bit. She adored Lily. Lily came rushing into the bedroom, all five feet of her, twelve going on twenty-one, blonde and growing.

She hugged her sister-in-law tight, whispering, �I�m sorry Joey��

�Hmm�� Joey just smiled and hugged her back. �How are you baby?� �Not a baby anymore�� Lily wrinkled her nose.

�I know. You�re up to here�� Joey touched her shoulder. �Almost.�

�Soon I�ll be taller than even Dawson,� Lily said seriously.

Dawson came into the room carrying Lily�s duffel. �How was the train?� Joey asked, avoiding Dawson�s glance in her direction.

�Nice,� Lily said proudly, �Really easy to do. So�� she jumped onto the bed. �What are we going to do tonight?�

****

They took Lily to their favorite restaurant, which was also Lily�s, an Italian place downtown. Because they had been married in Italy�in Venice�the restaurant had special meaning to them. Tonight, though, the special meaning was just a reminder of their pain of losing the baby.

While Lily chattered about school, her stepfather, babysitting Amy and Layla, Joey and Dawson tried to listen attentively as well as ignore all the memories coming out of the woodwork. The food�the candles�the music� it was almost too much. It wasn�t as if they had forgotten every single moment of their wedding, running through the narrow streets, kissing on the gondola on the palazzo, making love at sunset in their villa, singing the Beatles �Michelle� in French on the long drive through France, (Joey teaching him the words, as well as how to say �make love to me� and �I love you�) feeling invincibly in love, hopeful for their future.

Dawson reached for Joey�s knee under the table, but she didn�t even seem to notice.

****

If Lily noticed the mood between her brother and his wife, she didn�t say anything. Instead she dragged them around the block, stopping for ice cream, and then suggesting they see a movie. When she stopped in front of the theatre Dawson and Joey always went to (mostly to make out on hot summer days) they vetoed. �How about we go home and watch some of my DVD�s?� Dawson suggested.

**** Halfway through ET (At Lily�s insistence, and Dawson and Joey�s reluctance) Lily called for Joey from the bathroom.

Joey, who had been inching closer to Dawson on the couch, got up and went to the bathroom, shooting Dawson a curious look.

�Yes honey?�

Lily had the door open a crack.

�Um�� Lily looked shell-shocked.

�Um��

Joey opened the door a little wider but Lily tried to shut it, her cheeks red.

And then Joey saw the blood. Her heart jumped into her mouth. The last time she had seen blood�but of course�Lily�s period� she forced herself to take deep breaths and to calm down, for lily�s sake. The poor girl was already as white as a sheet.

�Oh sweetie�� she whispered, going into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. �You�ve got your period.�

�I thought that might have been it,� Lily said meekly.

****

Some time later they submerged from the bathroom. Dawson had switched off the movie and had been typing some hurried e-mails to work-friends about a deal. He looked up, half-curious, half already-knowing.

A girl thing.

Lily looked smug. She helped herself to some chocolate from the fridge and said simply to her brother, �For my cravings.� Joey giggled and Dawson nodded slowly, �Uh-huh��

***

Dawson was already in bed by the time Joey got out of the shower. She tiptoed over to the king-sized bed they had received as a wedding gift from Gale and her husband (appropriate�no broken coffee tables that way) and slipped in. Usually, Dawson would have rolled over and taken her into his arms, but�not tonight.

Joey tentatively reached her hand over to touch his hair, but hesitated. Maybe he was sleeping.

**** To Be Continued

PART FOUR

Although they had been all over the world, Capeside was still one of their favorite places to go back and visit. The stigma of being �stuck� had been lost over the years. Now it was home�the Leery house being the home base for any who wanted to stay for a few days, or for Christmas, thanksgiving and birthday parties. Now, they were assembling to go to the most blessed event�the high school reunion.

Driving into the Leery driveway, Joey felt a rush of relief settle over her. Maybe here she and Dawson would reconcile. If only her sense of failure would disappear�

****

Gale treated Joey like precious china, insisting she sit down and drink some tea, and hugging her tight. The sympathy just made Joey want to cry again and Dawson have to steady himself.

So Joey changed the subject, and once Dawson and Lily were out playing touch football with Pacey, Jack and Amy who were also up for the weekend, she told her about Lily�s little life-changing experience in more detail than over the phone.

�I still can�t believe it�� Gale said, shaking her head. �I still remember when you got yours�thirteen�you cried for a whole day.�

�No one really had time to explain it to me,� Joey laughed. �Dawson was beyond puzzled. Thank god for you��

�Well you�re like my surrogate daughter. And if there�s anyone I think of as Lily�s surrogate mother or sister, its you�� Gale covered Joey�s hand with hers.

Joey didn�t know quite what to say so she just ducked her head a little, and was glad when Lily came running in, her knees scraped up, urging Joey to go out and join in, as She only had Amy and Layla on her team, and Layla couldn�t even hold a ball her hands were so small.

Joey opted in and Gale went out onto the porch to watch. Pacey was so sweet with his daughter�as was Jack. Gale knew Joey and Dawson must have been still reeling from the shock of losing a baby, even if it was a fetus.

But she felt certain inside her they would one day have their own child�her first grandchild. She hoped in the meantime they would patch up whatever fights they had been having lately. She knew it just wasn�t worth it.

She remembered when they were newlyweds, tanned from Italy, so considerate towards each other, so loving, and most of all, hopeful. Nothing could stand in their way. Gale had been disappointed they had eloped, hoping for a big wedding, but they had let her throw them a big wedding party instead. It had been a fantastic night�illegal fireworks, loud music and everything. Pacey had even turned up, he and Joey having a quiet talk in the kitchen Gale had come close to interrupting�she had stopped short of the door to overhear her saying, �I want this marriage to work more than anything. More than wanting my relationship with you to work. I�m sorry.�

On the lawn, Dawson tackled Joey and she shrieked, holding the ball tightly to her chest, Lily laughing and cheering her on.

�Come on Dawson, get it off her!� Jack encouraged.

The twosome fell onto the grass and Gale laughed. Maybe it would all be okay after all.

****

�Joey, are you ready?� Dawson called, going up the stairs two at a time, and pushing his bedroom door open. Her suitcase was open on the floor, and he could hear the water running in the bathroom.

He knocked gently. �Joey?�

The water turned off and Joey opened the door. �Yes I�m ready, just give me a sec�� she pushed past him to retrieve her bag and Dawson held his breath. She looked beautiful, in jeans and a black silky top and stilettos. He couldn�t wait to show her off.

�You look�amazing,� he said simply.

Joey smiled and shrugged, dropping a tube of lipstick into her bag. �Its just jeans.� She leaned over to get a comb out of her suitcase, and Dawson saw she had on the black lacy underwear he had gotten her from Bloomingdales for her twenty-ninth birthday.

�You look nice yourself.� Joey said, straightening up. He did. Joey felt all sorts of yearnings pulling at her as her eyes drifted over his strong shoulders. His blue eyes met hers and he was about to say something when Pacey bellowed, �Get a move on! What are you two doing up there?�

Andie�s laugh could be heard, and then Jack whistled. Gale�s muffled lecture��behaving like a bunch of teenagers�� floated up the stairs.

****

�I have an idea.� Jack suggested. �Lets blow this shit off and go bar-hopping.�

�Jack�� Andie warned from the backseat of Dawson�s jeep where she was sitting on Pacey�s lap.

�I agree,� Joey spoke up from the front seat. �We all hated high school, why are we going?� �Because we�re friends with Dawson Leery.� Pacey pointed out. �I�m married to him.� Joey laughed.

�You guys are pathetic,� Dawson said, rubbing Joey�s knee and changing lanes and craning his neck to see which road to get onto to turn into the Bar and Grill parking lot, which was down by the beach. Cars were everywhere and a big sign welcomed the class of 2001.

�Give me one good memory. Someone, quick,� Joey said dryly.

�Um� witnessing Dawson make out onstage with Eve�� Pacey called out to her. She gave him a dirty look, as did Dawson.

Before they got out of the car they had an impromptu moment of silence. Jen should have been there.

****

At first, the five of them kept close to each other, but as they saw more people they knew, they dissembled among the crowd.

Pacey and Andie had fun on the dance floor, dancing to Madonna, Andie leading Pacey who now didn�t mind dancing as much as he used to.

Jack was talking to some of his footballer buddies, as well as explaining Jen�s absence, which proved harder than he initially thought it would be. Joey eventually saved him and they swung around on the dance floor next to Andie and Pacey.

And as for Dawson�well, he was ten times more popular at Capeside High that night then he had ever been, which had never really bothered him, but tonight it did. Just because he was the writer and producer of one of the most groundbreaking teen series of all time, as well as a string of successful movies, it didn�t mean he had changed as a person.

Not much, anyway.

Okay, so he wasn�t a geek anymore.

He did like it when they were honest, though, and just told him it was their favorite show, or, �why did it have to end with Sam and Colby?�

While dancing with Pacey, Andie commented, �Look at all those women surrounding our Dawson.�

Jack and Joey, who were dancing next to them, looked over.

Dawson was getting a beer from the bar, surrounded by three or four Capeside High-ers, two of them ex-cheerleaders. Joey snorted. �Wouldn�t give him the time of day, and now he�s being treated like a male model?�

Okay, so he did look like one. But still. Joey checked to see if he had his ring on�he did. She unconsciously felt hers and smiled to herself.

****

Joey was in the bathroom stall when she overheard snatches of conversation from some girls who just went in.

�This is so weird,� one of them said, sounding a lot like Eloise Green, who had been in Joey�s biology class. The other girl had a voice she couldn�t place. They had been nice girls, if a little gossipy.

�I know�seeing everyone again. Seeing whose rich, whose poor, whose ugly, whose dead��

�Oh my god, I know. Can you believe it about Jen Lindley?� �So sad.�

�I know. And wasn�t she friends with Abby Morgan?� �Ugh its too weird�� �Jen was friends with those three�you know�Dawson, Pacey and Jody. Always hanging out together and doing god knows what.�

Laughter. �Did you see Dawson, though?�

Their voices lowered and Joey, who had already finished and was now against the door, listening in curiosity, strained to hear. �Has he changed or what?� �It helps he�s a millionare.� �And hot.�

�True. Oompa Loompa we used to call him�� �Why again?� �He was short and stocky and had all that hair.� �Not anymore�is he seeing anyone?�

�I think he married Jody.� Jody?

�I thought she married Pacey Witter.� �Me too, but according to Grace there was this big dramatic fight and�� the girls walked out, their voices echoing in the almost empty bathroom.

Jody? Joey shook her head in disgust. And what big dramatic fight? They had parted more or less peacefully.

****

She looked around for Dawson, her �hot� husband, and saw him talking to a brunette. Joey crept up to them, listening in on their conversation.

�We went on a double date. With�uh�Jen. And Cliff.� The girl was saying. �Ahh�the disaster date,� Dawson laughed warmly. �Mary Beth. Of course I remember you.� �Yes�� Mary Beth tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. �So�are you attached?�

�Married, actually. Six years.� Dawson looked down at his beer. �Oh�who is the lucky lady?� Mary Beth asked, trying not to look disappointed.

�Joey Potter.� A flicker of recognition on her features. �You mean that tall brunette you were always hanging around with?�

�Yup.� �Have any kids?� Joey turned away, her cheeks flaming. �Oh�no, not yet.� Dawson said casually.

****

By midnight, people were spilling out onto the beach to enjoy the crackling bonfire and copious amounts of beer. It was just like high school�drunken people�yet not, because everyone was mixing, forgetting who was in which group and who had this much money. It didn�t seem to matter anymore.

Joey sat with Andie and Pacey, nursing a vodka tonic.

�Here you are.� Dawson approached them, sitting down in the sand, on his fourth beer. He sat close to Joey, putting an arm around her waist, and pulling her close to him, kissing her shoulder. Joey just smiled limply at him. �Exhausted from dealing with your fan club? How many women did you talk to tonight?�

Dawson just rolled his eyes and took another drink.

Andie and Pacey exchanged looks, and made a getaway, claiming they needed more drinks.

Once they left, Joey took all her bubbling anger and laid into her husband and best friend.

�Maybe you should go and sleep with Mary Beth or Eloise or someone. They�re panting to have you.�

Dawson put his beer down and grabbed her shoulders. �What is up with you?� Joey shook him off. She dropped her drink and got up, walking away. Dawson followed her.

�You have got to talk to me calmly about this, Joey, instead of avoiding it and fighting with me.� �Me? Be calm?� Joey sighed. �Oooh, how can Jody Potter, white trailer trash from the back of beyond, be calm?� she crossed her arms.

�Jody?� Dawson exclaimed. �Who the fuck is that?� �Its what everyone is calling me.� �That�s bullshit. Why do you care, anyway?�

�I don�t.� Joey put her head in her hands. �I just want to go home. I�m too drunk to argue with you.�

She turned but Dawson pulled on her arm and pulled her tightly to his body, kissing her very passionately.

�Dawson�� Joey mumbled, pulling away. �Not now.� �Why not?� Dawson gestured around them. �I love you, Joey. I love you so much it hurts.� He looked so�forlorn. She hadn�t really thought that losing the baby would hurt him as well, but it had, hadn�t it?

Joey sighed, letting him pull her back to him. �I love you too.� She whispered. �I hate fighting with you.�

He kissed her neck.

�There�s no one around. Come on�lets make love like we used to�� he kissed her again, squeezing her breast with one hand and slipping his other hand down her panties under her dress. Joey started to feel aroused, and she kissed him back, but all the alcohol was making her light-headed and she found herself just falling onto the sand. Dawson took this as it looked like, and he settled on top of her, unzipping his pants, taking out his penis and sliding into her, whispering,

�You like it this way, don�t you?� Joey nodded. She had never known this Dawson, this desperate, firey man with eyes she couldn�t read, she couldn�t see. Was it the alcohol? Or�something else?

But then they were interrupted by the sound of laughter, and a man groaning, �I�m going to puke.�

�Face away from me!� �What are you, pussy boy, sixteen?�

And the alcohol consumed by Dawson caught up with him, and he lost his erection. He quickly pulled out, and Joey sat up, shaking her head, trying to get a grip.

Dawson zipped up his jeans and held out his hand. �Come on. Lets go home.�

He thanked god it was night and Joey couldn�t see his reddening face. Joey, however, knew, but she just smiled to herself, holding his hand. She had to give the guy credit�in six years he had only not been able to perform twice�once after his exhaustion breakdown just before their fifth anniversary, and now�which was just biological.

****

The next day it was cloudy, with the promise of rain and maybe even a storm. Almost everyone in the house had loud hangovers.

Pacey was snoring, content on the pullout couch, only to be rudely woken up by Layla, who climbed up onto the bed and sat on her father�s chest.

For a three-year-old she was strong, and Pacey woke up with a start, cursing. Layla giggled and jumped off, running as fast as her little feet could carry her. Upstairs in the spare room, Jack burrowed deeper under his pillow, not heeding Andie who stood in the doorway announcing pancakes. Being the designated driver, Andie was bright-eyed and smug at the drinkers.

She tentatively knocked on Dawson�s door, and then opened it up a crack, and smiled when she saw Dawson and Joey wrapped up in each other�s arms, still fully dressed and fast asleep.

She closed the door behind her and tiptoed downstairs, knocking loudly on Jack�s door on the way.

To Be Continued

�Hey.�

Pacey joined Joey on the Leery dock. �It�s going to rain soon.� �Eh.� Joey shrugged, warming her hands on her coffee mug. �I like rain.�

He smiled. �How are you�holding up?� he asked cautiously.

�You mean�after last night? Or�� �Everything,� Pacey said firmly. �Better,� Joey disclosed.

�Dawson and I are�working through it.� she sighed, looking disappointed in herself. �I thought I grew out of chasing my loved ones away.�

�That�s not what you did.� Pacey inched closer to her.

�I know I can�t talk and shouldn�t be doling out advice, but�I�m just going to speak my mind here.� �Shoot.�

�I know you two went through a lot, but�there is no stronger guy than Dawson. We all know that. He proved it when Jen died, when his father died. He is the best guy to talk to, to support you, and he happens to be your husband.� Joey nodded, smiling, �Amazing, huh?�

�Yeah�if I had to lose you to someone at least it was him.� Joey looked up, surprised. �Oh Pacey��

�Hey.� He held his hands up. �Don�t.� So she didn�t.

�Thanks, anyway.� She said softly. �Do you�know where I can find him?�

****

�Hey.� Joey sidled up to her husband, who was sitting on the porch swing. �Hi you�� He cuddled her, nuzzling her neck.

�You left this morning�� Joey said softly, touching his shirt lapel. �I didn�t want to wake you. You look so beautiful when you sleep, did you know that?� he gently touched her chin.

�So do you�� she murmured, tilting her face up to his to accept a long, lingering kiss which made her toes tingle.

They kissed for a few minutes, lost in the magic of the moment. How simple it used to be, when kissing was all they needed, all that mattered.

�I�m sorry about the other night.� Dawson eventually said quietly, looking right into his wife�s eyes.

�There�s a lesson to be learnt here�five beers and attempting sex? A big no-no.� Joey giggled, �Dawson, its nothing to be embarrassed about. Plus those jocks---ex jocks, anyway�were about to puke all over us. And�in all the time we�ve been sleeping together, this has only happened twice. While with�� she hesitated. �With other boyfriends�it happened a lot more.�

�Oh.� Now Dawson didn�t feel quite so ashamed. He wondered which other boyfriends.

He smiled, �Well, I need to say something else�I wasn�t angry with you. I was angry with myself�I was drunk and I�� he hesitated. �I wanted to make everything okay again, but I guess I could have made it worse.� Joey flickered her eyebrow. �Yeah, you could have�taking advantage of me like that�� she gently chided him. Dawson hung his head, �Hey, you�re being honest, its true��

�I know,� Joey nudged him. �It keeps thinks clear. Like they used to be. You were the hopeless romantic dreamer and I was the cynic keeping it real. I acted like I hated your reaction to life, but secretly I wanted it. Then the roles were swapped, I guess� and we both let ourselves down. I took my anger out on you and that was wrong.�

�Mmm.� Dawson found it hard, but he agreed. He had to. It had been wrong. A lot of things she had done in the past had been�less than stellar. But that didn�t mean he loved her any less.

�Remember what happened the last time we fought like this? After our first time? I�m not going to let that happen again. I�m not going to run from you.� Joey gently drew a line from his cheek to his jaw with her index finger. He picked her hand up and kissed her fingers.

�Remember when you told me you loved me�after you broke up with Pacey?� Joey nodded, smiling. �That was the happiest moment of my life. I thought it was a dream until you kissed me.�

�This is not a dream. This is real.� Joey put his hand on her breast to feel her heart.

�It sure is.�

�Dawson can�t you get through any sappy moments without laughing or saying something sexual these days?� �Uh�no.�

****

By dinner that evening, on their last night in Capeside, it was clear to everyone the two had come to an�understanding, or made up. Of course, everyone expected them to do it eventually. They sneaked kisses during intense conversations, Dawson�s hand didn�t leave her knee, and she stole food off his plate, a bright indication all was well in paradise.

After dessert, Joey discreetly led Dawson away, although it didn�t go unnoticed by Pacey.

Falling onto the bed, Dawson started to lift her shirt up and was a little taken aback when Joey stopped him. �Wait.�

�Huh?�

�I just want�you to hold me tonight.� Joey bit her lip.

�You know, like we used to, before sex and all that drama came into our lives.�

�You mean there wasn�t drama before?� Dawson joked dryly.

�Dawson.�

�I know.� He sighed inwardly, disappointed but only a little. The incredible make-up sex could wait for one night.

Joey laid her head on his chest, and he caressed her hair. Within minutes she was asleep.

****

It wasn�t as if she was expecting to even care anymore, but of course she did. They hadn�t even been back in New York for more than a day�they hadn�t even slept together yet. With a shaky sigh, Joey threw the pregnancy kit away with a toss of her hair and told herself to get a grip. She had had good reason to think she might be�late period, tired�and as her boss had said earlier that day--

�Joey, you look like hell.� Joey had been annoyed by this but tried not to show it. �Thanks.�

�Ever considered you might be pregnant?� �No.� Joey said in disbelief. �Well�believe me, I�ve been working with women for twenty-five years. I know a pregnant employee when I see one.�

Joey had brushed it off. But she had found herself in the drug store stocking up on shampoo, and had just�picked a box off the shelf and thrown it into the basket. What harm would it do?

A lot, it would seem. The two blue lines�meaning no baby�were completely mocking her. Feeling completely hopeless, she crawled into bed, grateful for the darkness, and let tears roll down her face. She had to be honest with herself. No more hiding. Things were great with her and Dawson now, so why couldn�t she just get pregnant?

****

Dawson came into the darkened apartment struggling to carry his laptop, a pile of scripts and his briefcase. �Jo? Sweetie?� he called, throwing his keys onto the hall table.

No answer. She was probably out. He undid his tie and the first few buttons on his shirt, and padded into the bedroom. There was a lump in the bed, a small crying lump.

�Oh geez.�

He threw his tie off and got onto the bed, half-sitting next to his wife, who turned her face into the pillow. �Jo what�s wrong?�

�Its stupid.�

�Nothing you do is stupid��

�I just�thought I was pregnant again and I wasn�t. I wanted everything to be perfect and its not.�

�Its very perfect.� Dawson whispered. �We�re together. All we need is each other. We don�t need a baby to prove that.� He caressed her back soothingly.

Joey�s sobs started to quiet and she rolled to face him. �You�re right.� She cupped his face. �I told you it was stupid.�

Looking at her tear-stained face and holding her soft body, Dawson was inclined to kiss her. So he did, and she kissed him back. The gentle, fragile kisses soon made way for hotter, more passionate kisses, feeling every inch of each other, kissing all their insecurities, anger and pain away. They had never kissed like this before.

Joey then lightened up the mood by whispering, �Oh Dawson, I am so horny�� she laughed, and Dawson laughed too, �Gee, That�s so romantic, Joey.� Maybe sometimes she could be a bit too honest.

�I don�t care.� She was hurriedly unzipping his jeans, and pulling her pants and shirt off.

Dawson was just about ready when she murmured, �You haven�t had anything to drink today, have you?�

�You�re evil.� He said, placing his arms on either side of her. �Just evil.� And with that he pushed inside her and the feeling was so delicious Joey moaned so loudly the neighbors could have heard. �Shh�� Dawson laughed into her neck.

They started to move together, Joey arching her back as the sensations filled her up the way she liked him to do. �This is so good�� Joey said breathlessly, clutching at him, wrapping her right leg around his hips, feeling their bodies fuse together the way they were meant too. �I love you�� Dawson said gruffly before they both entered a stage of complete deliria.

Outside, it was starting to rain.

****

When Dawson awoke a few hours later, the darkened room was flickering with little lights.

Joey was on the windowsill, lighting little tea candles, looking out at the sky, which was illuminated with the storm that raged. She was still naked, and the flames danced on her body. It was quite a sight. �Like the ones in Venice.� Joey said softly, as if reading his mind.

Of course.

He got out of bed and joined her on the windowsill, pulling her into his lap.

�Wow.� Joey said. �I�ve never sat in your lap naked before. It�s a whole new different experience, isn�t it?�

�You better believe it.� They both laughed gently.

They sit on the floor, watching the storm. �This reminds me of that storm we had in tenth�when you called Jen a whore, and I hid in your closet, and your mom told your dad she was cheating on him.� Joey�s voice was soft in the quiet room, and Dawson closed his eyes, remembering that storm. �I was such a bastard.�

�Sometimes I want to hide there again.� Joey said, ignoring his bastard comment.

�We can play Jaws if you want. It�ll be better than when we played it in middle school because we�re naked. Somehow that makes things more interesting.�

She nudged his shoulder.

�Do you think we�ll ever have kids?� she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

�I honestly don�t know.�

�Sometimes�� Joey hesitated. �Sometimes I feel like�a baby is the only thing I can give you.�

Dawson frowned.

�That�s crazy, Joey��

�I know.� She reached back to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

�I guess sometimes I love you so much I feel like I don�t deserve you.�

�That�s how I feel about you.�

�You shouldn�t.�

�I can�t help it�look.� Dawson leaned forward so he could look her in the eyes. �Lets go to the doctor next week. Just to make sure.�

�Okay.� Joey agreed.

****

�Completely healthy. Both of you.� Doctor Morgan, a classmate of Joey�s from Worthington, assured them in her Upper East Side office.

�Nothing should stand in your way of conceiving except time,� she leaned back in her chair and smiled at Dawson and Joey, who were both sitting more relieved.

�You�re still young. Thirty-one is still four years away from when there really might be a problem.�

�So�why did I miscarriage?� Joey asked tentatively. �If I�m healthy.� Dr. Morgan sighed and lifted a hand. �Sometimes miscarriages are on purpose. Other times, they aren�t explained. I believe they can happen naturally, that it�s just not time. Of course, if you were stressing with work, or not eating well, that could have added to the fragility of the baby. And you not knowing you were pregnant�was a risk too. But who is to say?�

Dawson squeezed Joey�s hand. �Just give it time. Come back to me in a year or two and we�ll take more tests.�

****

They bought hot dogs from a stand in Central Park and sat down on a bench in the quiet Strawberry Fields, munching and talking.

�I have to say I am really relieved,� Joey admitted. �I was convinced something was wrong.�

�I thought there may have been a problem,� Dawson added. �But�I just didn�t know.�

�Now we know.� Joey smiled, putting down her food and encircling his neck with her arms.

�I love you.�

�I love you too.� They brushed noses before they kissed.

****

It was 6am, some weeks later, and Dawson was in a deep sleep, exhausted from Joey (again) keeping him up all night with her new positions and tantric stuff. Give a guy a break, sometimes he needs sleep between doing it on a table or upside down on a chair. Jeez.

He wasn�t liking that there was a loud shriek from the bathroom, and then someone jumped practically on top of him, waking him up from the warm solace of sleep. �Dawson�� Joey said in a singsong voice.

�Hmmm.� He grumbled. �I�m pregnant.� She shook his shoulders. Dawson popped his head up, and looked around for the clock.

�Well, it�s about time. Now, tell me again at 9am, okay?� he grumbled, going straight back to sleep, but smiling a little, squeezing Joey�s hand before he fell right back to sleep again.

****

Waking up that Saturday morning, Joey just *knew*. She just knew. It was the strangest sensation�one moment she was nuzzling her husband, the next she was looking at the clock, and then the next moment she had her hand on her stomach and she just *knew*.

It had been six weeks since their doctor visit, and they had been in no rush, yet they had subconsciously put in effort to �try.� Calmly going into the bathroom at 5:00, Joey did the EPT pregnancy test and waited, flipping through Vogue.

One blue line. Joey didn�t trust it so she did another test. She had three boxes in all, and by 5:45 all three strips had one blue line. There was no denying that feeling in the pit of her stomach or the three positive pregnancy tests by a brand that promised quick, correct answers. Cupping a hand to her mouth, Joey contemplated waking Dawson up. They had been up till 3am, doing six out of the 100 positions in the tantric guidebook Audrey had teasingly given Joey for her birthday. Joey hadn�t even known there *were* 100.

She threw the boxes in the trash and rushed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

****

�This is for you.�

Dawson held out a small package to Joey.

They were dining at their favorite Italian place to celebrate almost three safe months of Joey�s pregnancy. Tonight was the first night Joey was showing in public, opposed to before when she discreetly hid her expanding waistline with jackets or sweaters. She had bought her first �maternity� outfit, a black stretchy dress with a halter neck.

They had mutually decided not to tell a soul until they knew for sure everything would be okay. For almost twelve weeks Dawson treated Joey like fragile glass, and Joey waited, anxious, excited, panicked all rolled into one, watching in amazement as her jeans no longer did up, as her breasts grew (Dawson especially noticed that one) and then six weeks into being pregnant, came the glorified morning sickness, although it didn�t just appear in the morning it arrived midday and sometimes in the afternoon. When the three- month �safe� period hit, and Dr. Morgan gave them the A-okay, they called Gale, and then Bessie.

Joey gently opened the blue package, completely taken aback to see a necklace with a diamond pendant sitting on velvet. It sparkled in the candlelight.

�Holy shit.� Joey murmured.

She then laughed, �I guess I�m not as sophisticated as everyone thinks I am.� �Yeah, you�re still mentally across the creek.� Dawson joked, leaning forward to attach the necklace onto her slender neck. �Its�beautiful. It�s blinding.�

The only thing Joey owned which came close to being so exquisite was her engagement ring. Dawson must have saved up a lot to purchase this.

�Oh Dawson this is almost too much. Almost.� Joey leaned forward to kiss him. �You deserve it. For everything you had to go through. I just saw it and thought of that crappy one I gave you in 11th grade.� Dawson smiled. �This one is a little�better. Oh, and uh, this one too. Its more of a joke, though, coz I don�t think our baby will be waving it around in his or her crib.�

Joey flushed, happy, at the sound of �our baby� and unwrapped the second box, smiling when she saw what was inside. The coveted silver baby rattle from Tiffany�s. Oh, of *course.* Joey took Dawson�s hand and rested it on her stomach.

�Our baby.� She said into his ear, and they kissed.

****

They decided to announce it out at dinner closer to Joey�s fourth month. Because she was slender, it was starting to show a lot more if she didn�t wear a jacket. Because it was fall it was easier to remain hidden, and so far, none of their friends had noticed anything, except she had started to snack on sour gummy bears, and rushed off to the bathroom at odd hours. She and Dawson were also acting�weird. Secretive. Affectionate�even more so.

Jack, Audrey and Pacey were all deep in conversation, all of them sharing their usual table at a SoHo bar/pizza place when Dawson couldn�t hold it in anymore and told them.

�You�re kidding.� Jack exclaimed, reaching over to hug Joey. �Nope�almost four months.� Joey grinned and stirred the straw in her coke. �Four months?� Audrey spluttered. �And you didn�t tell us?� �We�wanted to make sure.� �Oh.� Audrey smiled apologetically. �Of course. You know�now that you mention it, you did look like you had gained a few pounds. But I didn�t want to say anything.� �Audrey!�

�You know I�m joking, babe.� Audrey rested her head on Joey�s shoulder. �I can�t believe we�re both mothers�it feels like yesterday we were roommates and I was teaching you how to give proper blow jobs.�

Joey closed her eyes out of embarrassment.

�This baby better be a boy.� Pacey pointed out. �Did you notice everyone has girls? Layla, Amy, Lily�we need some masculinity. And Jack being a queen? Not helping.�

�Hey.�

***

Pacey was happy for them. Now, anyway, that he had moved on, that he had a child of his own and a blossoming romance with a certain someone. Not Audrey. They were just friends. Though she did help him through a rough time. And what a rough time that was.

Sure, he and Dawson had had their differences. And Joey dumping his ass then hopping on a plane to Italy to get married hadn�t exactly been a good experience. Add to that he and Audrey barging in on them banging on Dawson�s bed a week before they left.

Having to see them have sex�god�it jolted him out of his bubble of denial. It jolted him, the thought, the fact, that she and Dawson had an incredible sex life. He had always thought their relationship was more about�love. Friendship. That sort of stuff. Not only did they have that sort of stuff, they also had a good time in bed, something he thought only he himself could offer Joey.

Walking in on Joey and Dawson doing the wild thing, completely oblivious and caught up in what looked like a good hours worth of fucking, well�Audrey had been just as surprised. Joey had just spotted them, looking like deer in the headlight, and the first thing she did was to cover her breasts with her hands, but hey�why bother? They had already seen more than enough. Pacey had propelled Audrey and himself out the door and they had run as fast as they could out of the house, too shocked to laugh or to say anything.

While she was in Italy with Dawson, he and Audrey had hung out, going to parties, doing what they did back when they were dating�have fun. Then one night the prerequisite kiss on the cheek ended in hot sex on the living room floor of her apartment. And voila�Layla was born a neat nine months later.

Life surprised him around every corner.

****

That night, lying in bed next to Joey, Dawson wondered how in the hell he came to be in such a lucky position in life. He couldn�t remember being so happy, despite the baby drama. How did they get there? When all of their choices had lead to such disarray before, how did the choice they had made six years ago end up being so right?

God, anything could have happened. If he hadn�t requested to be moved to New York, (to be closer to his friends and his family) If they hadn�t spent more time together, fallen in love again (yes, again) who knew where they would be? Dawson did. Not together�they would never talk, never e-mail, and the limp promises of being soul mates would fade. That was life. It wasn�t like they wouldn�t have loved each other, they just wouldn�t have had any use for each other anymore.

Dawson kissed his sleeping wife�s cheek.

****

�And one goes up�and one goes down�� Joey was singing in a singsong voice to her three month old son, Mitchell.

She was balancing him on her hip as she waded into the surf off the coast of Massachusetts. Mitch�s eyes were barely visible under his blue sunhat, but Joey could see they were especially blue and wide next to the ocean. She lifted him up into the air and back down again, laughing as his stared down at her, and made a distinct baby sound.

Dawson was up on the beach building a sandcastle with Lily and Layla. Joey cuddled her son to her chest, smelling his baby-oil scented skin. Mitchell Michael Leery had been born tiny, 5 pounds, on the 1st of January, by natural birth, a couple of weeks early.

He was a pretty good baby though, happy and peaceful, easily put off to sleep if she or Dawson sang to him. He was truly a gift. Joey had never thought having a child would be life changing. But Mitch had added to their already rich lives, and Joey couldn�t imagine life without him, without a baby she and Dawson had made together, an example of their love, friendship and�magic.

THE END